Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol

Would all passengers please return to their seats

and fasten their safety belts. We are experiencing slight turbulence.

Both engines failed and the storm gate's critical.

The ship is going down. Christmas is cancelled.

Entering atmosphere now.

Level! Keep her level!

With what? I can't see.

What's that stuff?

Clouds?

What kind of clouds?

Are you sending a distress signal?

Ah!

It's not me.

Who's in the honeymoon suite?

- I've sent for help. - Who the hell are you?

Look, there's a friend of mine, okay? And he can help us. He'll come.

And what are you wearing?

That doesn't matter.

Are you from the honeymoon suite?

Oh... Shut up.

Oh! Amy! The light's stopped flashing. Does that mean he's coming?

- Honeymoon suite? - Oh...

Oh, the clothes. Um... It is just a bit of fun.

Rory, shut up!

Excessive oscillating in the centre hull.

I'm sorry, does this mean he's coming or does it mean I need to change the bulb?

He'll come. He always comes.

Right, well, he is cutting it kind of fine.

If we can't stabilise the orbit, we're finished.

There's nothing to lock on to. I'm flying blind.

Come on, Doctor. Come on.

There's something coming alongside us. Something small, like a shuttle.

Just this once, don't be late.

Ma'am, incoming message. It's from the other ship.

On screen.

What does that mean?

It's Christmas.

Get your Chroniclehere. Sardicktown Chronicle!

Here you go.

On every world, wherever people are,

in the deepest part of the winter, at the exact midpoint,

everybody stops and turns and hugs,

as if to say, "Well done!

"Well done, everyone!

"We're halfway out of the dark. "

Back on Earth, we call this Christmas,

or the winter solstice.

On this world, the first settlers called it the Crystal Feast.

You know what I call it?

I call it expecting something for nothing!

Sir? Mr Sardick, we're only asking for one day.

Just let her out for Christmas.

She loves Christmas.

Does she? Oh, does she? I see.

Hello! Oh, wakey, wakey!

It's Christmas!

Do you know what? I think she's a bit cool about the whole thing.

That was funny.

She's frozen.

She's what, sorry?

She's in the ice. She can't hear you.

Oh, what a clever little boy.

You must be so irritated.

How much?

Uh, it's, uh, 4,500 gideons, sir.

You took a loan of 4,500 gideons

and little Miss Christmas is my security.

We're not asking for her back. Just let her have one day.

Let her have Christmas with us.

Sir, it's the, uh, president.

Tell him I'm busy.

Now...

Where were we?

Oh, yes. She's pretty, though, your daughter.

Maybe I should keep her.

She's not my daughter, sir.

She's my sister.

She volunteered for the ice

when the family were in difficulties many years ago.

Sorry, sir, the president says there's a Galaxy-class ship

trapped in the cloud layer and, well, we have to let it land.

Or?

Well... Or it'll crash, sir.

Oh. Well, it's a kind of landing, isn't it?

It's from Earth, sir, registering over 4,000 life forms on board.

Not if we wait a bit.

We can'tjust let it crash, sir.

Says who?

Oh, give it here.

Look, petal, we already have a surplus population.

No more people allowed on this planet.

- I don't make the rules. - Huh?

Oh, no, hang on. I do.

All right, you lot.

Poor, begging people. Off home and pray for a miracle.

Ah!

Yes! Blimey, sorry!

Christmas Eve on a rooftop, saw a chimney,

my whole brain just went, "What the hell?"

Don't worry, fat fella will be doing the rounds later.

I'm just scoping out the general... chimneyness! Yes!

Nice size. Good traction.

Big take.

- Fat fella? - Father Christmas.

Santa Claus, or, as I've always known him, Jeff.

There's no such person as Father Christmas.

Oh, yeah? Me and Father Christmas, Frank Sinatra's hunting lodge, 1952.

See him at the back with the blonde?

Albert Einstein, the three of us together.

Vroom! Watch out! Okay?

Keep the faith. Stay off the naughtiness.

Ooh, now what's this, then? I love this.

A big, flashy lighty thing, that's what brought me here.

Big, flashy lighty things have got me written all over them.

Not actually, but give me time and a crayon.

Now, this big, flashy lighty thing is connected

to the spire in your dome, yeah? And it controls the sky.

Well, technically, it controls the clouds,

which technically aren't clouds at all.

Well, they're clouds of tiny particles of ice.

Ice clouds, love that. Who's she?

Nobody important.

Nobody important!

Blimey, that's amazing.

Do you know, in 900 years of time and space,

I've never met anyone who wasn't important before?

Now, this console is the key to saving that ship

or I'll eat my hat, if I had a hat.

I'll eat someone's hat, not someone who's using their hat,

I don't want to shock a man or something.

Sorry, rambling. That's because this isn't working!

Controls are isomorphic, one-to-one. They respond only to me.

Oh, you fibber! Isomorphic! There's no such thing.

These controls are isomorphic.

The skies of this entire world are mine.

My family tamed them and now I own them.

Tamed the sky? What does that mean?

It means I'm Kazran Sardick.

How could he possibly not know who I am?

Well, just easily bored, I suppose.

So, I need your help, then.

Make an appointment.

There are 4,003 people in a spaceship trapped in your cloud belt.

Without your help, they're going to die.

Yes.

You don't have to let that happen.

I know, but I'm going to.

Bye-bye. Bored now. Chuck!

Oh, look at you, looking all tough now.

There are 4,003 people I won't allow to die tonight.

Do you know where that puts you?

Where?

4,004.

Was that a sort of threaty thing?

Whatever happens tonight, remember,

you brought it on yourself.

Yeah, yeah, right. Get him out of here!

And next time, try and find me some funny poor people.

- No! Stop! - Don't you dare! You leave him!

Get them out of here!

Get that foul smelling family out of here! Out!

We're going!

What? What do you want?

A simple life.

But you didn't hit the boy.

Well, I will next time.

You see, you won't. Now, why?

What am I missing?

Get out! Get out of this house!

The chairs. Of course, the chairs. Stupid me. The chairs.

Chairs?

There's a portrait on the wall behind me,

looks like you, but it's too old, so it's your father.

All the chairs are angled away from it. Daddy's been dead for 20 years

but you still can't get comfortable where he can see you.

There's a Christmas tree in the painting,

but none in this house on Christmas Eve.

You're scared of him, and you're scared of being like him,

and good for you, you're not like him, not really. Do you know why?

Why?

Because you didn't hit the boy.

Merry Christmas, Mr Sardick.

I despise Christmas.

Shouldn't. It's very you.

It's what? What do you mean?

Halfway out of the dark.

Get her downstairs with the others! And clean up this mess!

I'm still blind!

Secondary burn shield vented.

- Have you got a plan yet? - Yes, I do.

Are you lying?

Yes, I am.

Don't treat me like an idiot.

Is he lying?

- No, no. Okay.

The good news, I've tracked the machine that unlocks the cloud belt,

I could use it to clear your flight corridor and you could land, easily.

Well, hey, hey, that's great news.

But I can't control the machine.

Less great.