Tide

Why are you doing this now? Keep an eye on the map.

- I can't see properly. - Do it later!

There's no signal, but I think it's to the left.

- What do you mean "left"? - The opposite of right.

Haven't we been here before?

No, it looks the same, but I don't think we've been here before.

Did you find it? Chemin des Peintres.

Did you turn on sharing?

I did.

- How do I spell "Peintres"? - Olivia, how do you spell "Peintres"?

P-E-I-N-T-R-E-S.

Chemin des Peintres.

We should have asked that guy.

That's what I said, but Xavier didn't want to.

How do you spell "Chemin"?

There's no signal here.

C-H-E-M-I-N.

There's a Chemin des Dames.

No, that's different.

It's not Chemin des Dames. It's Chemin des Peintres.

How did you say you spell "Peintres", Xavier?

The first time you said: "Pondre."

P-E-I...

Wait, go back. P-E-I-T-R...

- P-E-I-N... - P-E-I-N-T-R-E-S.

What are we looking for? A parking lot?

Maybe or it could be a field, I don't know.

I really need to pee.

I don't know if they have a bathroom.

This is so...

- What, Elliott? - Are they going to wait for us? We're late.

I don't know, man.

They might have already left.

Sorry, can we stop for a minute?

Can you stop over there by the tree or something?

I...

What is happening?

I need to throw up.

Not now!

- What is happening? - Charlotte is going to throw up.

No, Charlotte, please. I'm going to throw up too.

Can we focus on where we're going?

He drives like a maniac.

- Don't talk about his driving now. - Oh my God.

There!

Look, parking. Left.

- Xavier, can you... - Right.

- Yes, le parking or something. - Left. Follow that car.

Can you try to drive a little better?

I can't.

This looks right. I need...

They're not there. Did we find them on the sand?

Xavier, can you...

Stop.

Xavier, take it easy.

- Slow down. - Xavier...

- Oh my God, Xavier. - Stop!

Guys, let's get ready as fast as possible, okay?

- Do we need shoes? - No, it's all sand.

- Flip-flops? - Sunscreen.

God.

- Flip-flops? - No.

I mean, yes.

Elliot, I put the sunscreen in the bag.

We don't have time for this, let's go!

Do we need towels?

- No. - A flip-flop, two flip-flops.

- Umbrella? - No.

- I need to pee. Do we have time? - No, let's go. Water.

Did you bring the portable charger for my phone?

Blue bag, Charlotte, it's in the blue bag.

- Which blue bag? - It's in the trunk!

- Did you get the water bottle? - It's here.

What did you get? Did you get the blue bag?

Olivia's water bottle.

But I'm not taking the bag with me.

Put it here in mine. Here.

Is it still raining or is it just me?

- Put it here. Where are my flip-flops? - It's raining.

Where are we going?

Which way? Sorry.

Okay. Are we all set?

- Okay. Let's go. - Yes!

- Let's walk! - Let's go!

Let's go! Damn it.

Xavier, which way?

Which way?

Xavier, left or right?

Right, go right!

- That must be them over there. - Finally!

- Elliott, be careful! - Let's go!

Sorry.

Sorry about that.

Sorry.

No signal.

- On the phone. - Yes.

- The GPS. - The GPS is broken.

Well...

Don't apologize to me, apologize to them.

We are very sorry.

Cool.

Do you know who doesn't care about your apologies?

No? You don't know?

The tide.

What? Sorry.

The tide!

The damn tide, okay?

First, it's disrespectful.

Second, it's dangerous.

Here you don't play with the elements.

Did you understand?

Did you understand?

Yes, we understand, okay? Sorry.

Let's go.

CERTIFIED GUIDE

My God, I really wanted to laugh.

Actually, I wanted to cry.

I didn't want to look at you, I knew I'd start laughing.

What was that?

We just had a French situation.

Folks, on behalf of the Normandy tourism board:

Welcome to France, you bunch of assholes!

Don't play with the elements!

Miss.

Sir.

Where did you learn French?

I had a French boyfriend when...

- Are you okay? - Me? Yes.

Yes, I'm fine, it's just that...

That was a bit unnecessary.

Shouting at me, I mean.

Yes, but...

The French are like that sometimes.

They shout for a minute,

then they forget everything and move on.

What...

What does "bande de connards" mean?

Bande de connards.

I think it means "welcome" in French.

Good morning, bande de connards.

No, I'm kidding, it doesn't mean that!

- Don't use it! - I know...

DANGER FROM THE DEEP

BASED ON TRUE STORIES

Are you only visiting Normandy or going to other parts of France?

We're only staying a few days, a friend invited us to...

A gig.

A gig? What gig?

There's music, concerts, we're a band.

Musicians?

And what's the band's name?

It's "Olivia and the Jerkers."

"Olivia and the Jerkers."

Yes, Xavier is the lead singer.

Charlotte plays the drums.

I play the bass guitar and Elliott plays the accordion.

- Accordion? - Yes.

It's a difficult sound to imitate, but...

We're very good.

We're quite famous in England. I'm surprised you don't know us.

Two miles, three miles...

The guide said it was 7km.

- How many miles is that? - It's 7km? That can't be right.

Yes, I think it should be...

about a 30-minute walk.

- Is it 30 or 13? - No, it's 30.

- It's not 30. Definitely not. - I think I can do it in 30, I'm fast.

- No, I don't think so. - One second.

Can I leave this here?

- Honey, are you really going to put them there? - Yes!

Could you please not do that?

- Why not? - You'll get sand all over everything!

Stop complaining. I'll put them in a bag.

You don't need a bag for your flashlight, right?

My flashlight?

- What's that doing here? - Well, you told me to bring it.

What? No.

Yes! You said, "Charlotte, get the blue bag."

- Are you serious? - What?

Tell me you didn't forget the sandwiches.

What? No. You didn't tell me to...

I said, "Get the sandwiches from the blue bag!"

No, you said to get the blue bag.

The picnic bag!

Why the hell would we need a flashlight in the middle of a bay?

Jesus, use your brain once in a while, can you, Charlotte?

Idiot...

- Hi. - Hello.

Did you find signal?

Let's see.

- There's nothing here. - Yes, I have 5G.

Really?

No. Nothing.

A big fat zero. Nothing.

- That was a good one. - Nothing.

They should be there.

In the 21st century, you can't leave tourists without service.

I think so too.

We need to disconnect a bit.

- How do you say that in French? - What? "I have 5G?"