Beyond Clueless

HIGH SCHOOL IS HYPNOTIC.

IT TICKS, AND TOCKS,

DRAWING US INTO A WORLD WE KNOW ALL TOO WELL...

FROM MEMORIES, DREAMS,

AND MOST OF ALL, FROM THE MOVIES.

THE FURTHER WE VENTURE INSIDE,

THE MORE WE GIVE OURSELVES OVER TO ITS ETERNAL RHYTHM.

BEFORE WE KNOW IT,

WE'RE UNDER THE SPELL OF A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

BUSES GLIDE INTO THE PARKING LOT.

STARS AND STRIPES HANG LIFELESS AS ANOTHER SEMESTER UNFOLDS.

TEENS FROM ALL AROUND FLOCK INTO THE BUILDING,

LOST IN AN ENDLESS RITUAL.

MOST REMAIN OBLIVIOUS

TO THEIR ROLE WITHIN THIS VAST PRODUCTION,

BUT THOSE WHO WAKE FROM THE TRANCE

AND SEE THE SYSTEM FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS,

FIND THAT THE PATH TO FREEDOM LIES STRAIGHT AHEAD.

THE BEST WAY TO SURVIVE HIGH SCHOOL

IS TO PLAY BY HIGH SCHOOL'S RULES.

TRANSFER STUDENT SARAH

UNDERSTANDS THESE RULES BEITER THAN ANYONE

IN "THE CRAFT".

BLESSED WITH A SUPERNATURAL GIFT,

SHE SENSES A PATH THROUGH THE MAZE OF HIGH SCHOOL

AND SITS A COURSE FOR WHAT LIES BEYOND.

FIRST, SHE IDENTIFIES NATURAL ALLIES

IN BONNIE, NANCY AND ROCHELLE - A TRIO OF GOTHIC PARIAHS

TORMENTED BY THEIR FELLOW STUDENTS...

- HEY, SCARY BITCH ALERT. - OH, GOD!

I THOUGHT IT WAS SATAN. -

- AND MARKED AS OUTSIDERS BY FACTORS THEY CAN'T CONTROL.

SHARK!

- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, LAURA?

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?

YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW WHY?

- YES, I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHY.

BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE NEGROIDS.

[ CHUCKLES 1 - [ CHUCKLES 1

SORRY.

- BONDED TOGETHER, THEY ASSERT THEIR POWER AS ONE.

- YOU GIRLS WATCH OUT FOR THOSE WEIRDOS.

WE ARE THE WEIRDOS, MISTER.

- AS THEY FORGE A FRESH PATH THROUGH THE SYSTEM,

THEY LIBERATE THEMSELVES FROM THE PAST...

I DRINK OF MY SISTERS,

AND I ASK FOR THE ABILITY TO NOT HATE THOSE WHO HATE ME,

ESPECIALLY RACIST PIECES OF BLEACH-BLONDE SHIT,

LIKE LAURA LIZZIE.

- AND WREAK GRUESOME REVENGE ON THOSE WHO'VE DONE THEM WRONG.

FOR THEM, HIGH SCHOOL WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

BUT AS THEY SHARE OUT SARAH'S INCREDIBLE ABILITIES

AMONGST THE GROUP...

- Light as a feather, stiff as a board.

Light as a feather, stiff as a board.

- THEY CEASE TO EXIST AS DISTINCT INDIVIDUALS,

INSTEAD TAKING ON A COLLECTIVE IDENTITY.

NANCY CAN BE NANCY...

OR SHE CAN BE SARAH,

AS THE BORDERS BETWEEN THEM FADE AWAY.

UNNERVED BY THIS LOSS OF SELF,

SARAH TURNS HER BACK ON THE OTHERS...

- THERE YOU ARE! WE'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU.

- AND TURNS THEM AGAINST HER.

- WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE THE CIRCLE,

YOU MIGHT WANNA THINK ABOUT LEAVING THE SCHOOL.

- AND MAYBE THE CITY, TOO. WE'RE NOT SURE.

OR THE PLANET.

DESPERATE TO MAINTAIN CONTROL,

THE TRIO JOIN FORCES TO CRUSH SARAH'S REBELLION,

BUT WEAKENED BY THEIR MISSING LINK,

THEY'RE HELPLESS TO DEFEND THEMSELVES...

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

AS SHE TEARS THE PACK APART FROM WITHIN.

- I BIND YOU, NANCY, FROM DOING HARM...

HARM AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE AND HARM AGAINST YOURSELF.

- WAIT. -l BIND YOU, NANCY, FROM DOING HARM...

HARM AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE AND HARM AGAINST YOURSELF.

- AS THE GROUP SHATFERS BEYOND REPAIR,

POWER RETURNS TO THE INDIVIDUAL.

WE WERE JUST WONDERING,

DO YOU - DO YOU STILL HAVE ANY POWERS?

'CAUSE WE DON'T.

- HOLD YOUR BREATH UNTIL I CALL.

- SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T HAVE ANY POWERS ANYWAY.

- THE SPELL OF HIGH SCHOOL IS LII-TED.

- SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYONE

SHE'S THE STAR, SHE'S THE ONLY ONE TO BELONG

SHE FEELS BAD FOR YOU THAT YOU DON'T COMPARE

SHE KNOWS IT'S HARD WHEN SHE SEES, SHE SEES YOU STARE

SHE'S A SYMBOL OF THE TURNING WORLD

SHE THINKS EVERYBODY'S IN LOVE WITH HER

SHE'S A STONE-COLD FOX

SHE'S A STONE-COLD FOX

AND THE TREES, LIKE LUNGS, FILLING UP WITH AIR

MY SISTER, THE MEAN ONE, PULLING MY HAIR

AND THOSE GIRLS, THEY WERE JUST WOMEN IN DISGUISE

THEY UNDERSTOOD IT ALL, THERE WAS DARKNESS AND PAIN

IN THEIR EYES

IT ONLY MATTERS THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS THAT WE LOVED THEM

A FLURRY OF ACTIVITY

SIGNALS THE BEGINNING OF A TRANSFORMATIVE JOURNEY

THROUGH THE TREACHEROUS HIGH-SCHOOL SYSTEM.

AS THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR BEGINS,

TEENS ARE POURED INTO WHICHEVER MOLD BEST FITS.

THESE SEATS TAKEN, HERE?

NO, GO AHEAD.

- THE THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS THAT MAKE THEM WHO THEY ARE

MUST BE SET ASIDE,

AS THEY IDENTIFY THE COMMON ELEMENTS

THAT MIGHT BOND THEM TOGETHER...

- Hl, I'M GAVIN. THIS IS U.v.

- BECAUSE IN A WORLD WHERE CLIQUES RULE...

I'M STEVE.

- THEY'LL GET NOWHERE ON THEIR OWN.

IT'S A CLASS SYSTEM, MAN.

CHECK IT OUT.

THERE YOU GOT YOUR MOTORHEADS, JOCKS...

ALL THE WORLD'S A GASKET, A LUBE JOB AND A PACK OF LUCKYS.

- WE WERE THE KIDS IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO RAN THE FUCKING SCHOOL.

THAT'S ALL IT IS. THIS IS AN EXTENSION.

- WE WERE THE JOCKS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

WE PLAYED THE SPORTS, WE RAN THE SCHOOL, WE RAN THE PARTIES.

I'M GONNA MISS THIS PLACE...

THE GAMES, THE PARTIES, ALL THESE LOVELY WOMEN DIGGING ME.

- AH, NOW, OVER HERE YOU HAVE YOUR MICRO-GEEKS...

NERDS, WIZ-KIDS, AND VARIOUS OTHER BOTFOM-FEEDERS.

MUSIC OF CHOICE...

THE SOUND OF AN APPLE PC BEING BOOTED UP.

DRUG OF CHOICE... STEPHEN HAWKING'S "A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME"

AND A CUP OF JASMINE TEA ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.

- YOU TALK WEIRD, AND YOUR CLOTHES ARE LAME.

YOU'RE JUST THIS WORMY LITTLE GUY

WHO SITS IN HIS ROOM AND STUDIES.

- OVER THERE, YOU HAVE YOUR SKATERS...

RIFFIN', RAGIN' KIDS AND THEIR RAMP TRAMPS.

BAGGY PANTS, DICKIE WOOLS,

DOING 50-50 GRINDS WITH A GNARLY GRAB FINISH

ON A HOMEMADE HALF PIPE.

- THEY... THEY LOOK LIKE TRASH,

THEY'RE WEARING GARBAGE,

THEY EXTEND TO THE GREATEST LIMITS OF - OF INSANITY

AND - AND... AND HIDEOSITY,

AND I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THAT'S SOMETHING THAT THEY STRIVE FOR.

- HERE'S WHERE IT GETS REALLY NASTY.

EVERYONE WANTED TO BE THEM.

YOU KNOW THEM. THEY WENT TO YOUR SCHOOL, TOO.

THEY TOTALLY RULED.

- YOU KNOW, HE'S SMART, HE'S RICH.

HE'S WI I I Y, AND EVERYONE LIKES HIM.

- YEAH, I KNEW KIDS LIKE THAT... SUPERSTARS OF HIGH SCHOOL.

THAT'S IT.

LESSON OVER, CLASS DISMEMBERED.

WELCOME TO CRADLE BAY HIGH, STEVIE BOY.

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE.

- TO A NEW ARRIVAL, HIGH SCHOOL IS A JUNGLE.

ONLY BY FINDING THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE

CAN A LOST AND LONELY TEEN MAKE THEIR WAY TO SAFETY.

IN "MEAN GIRLS", NAVIGATING THE CRUSH OF THE CAFETERIA

PROVES AN OVERWHELMING TASK FOR NEW STUDENT CADY

UNTIL SHE COMES TO APPRECIATE THE ORDER BENEATH THE CHAOS.

- HERE, THIS MAP IS GONNA BE YOUR GUIDE TO NORTH SHORE.

NOW, WHERE YOU SIT IN THE CAFETERIA IS CRUCIAL.

A STRICT HIERARCHY

KEEPS EACH OF THE SCHOOL'S CLIQUES IN PLACE,

DAMNING SOME TO OBSCURITY WHILE OTHERS ARE LII-TED TO STARDOM.

MOST NOTORIOUS ARE THE PLASTICS...

AN ELITE GANG OF CAREFULLY SCULPTED TEENS

WHO WILL STOP AT NOTHING

TO ENSURE THEIR CONTINUED DOMINANCE.

SO STRONG IS THEIR WILL

THAT THE CLIQUE'S SUPREMACY GOES ENTIRELY UNQUESTIONED

BY THE REST OF THE STUDENT BODY.

[APPLAUSE 1

THE PLASTICS OFFER TO MOLD CADY INTO ONE OF THEIR OWN,

TRANSFORMING HER INTO HIGH-SCHOOL ROYALTY OVERNIGHT.

- OKAY, YOU SHOULD JUST KNOW THAT WE DON'T DO THIS A LOT,

SO THIS IS, LIKE, A REALLY HUGE DEAL.

- WE WANT TO INVITE YOU TO HAVE LUNCH WITH US

EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.

- Ol-|, I-IT'S OKA- - COOLNESS!

SO, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

ON WEDNESDAYS, WE WEAR PINK.

- ONCE INSIDE, SHE DISCOVERS THE SOURCE OF THE GROUPS POWER.

TO MAINTAIN THEIR STANDING,

THEY MUST DRAW STRENGTH FROM THEIR LESS-POPULAR PEERS.

IT'S OUR BURN BOOK.

SEE, WE CUT OUT GIRLS' PICTURES FROM THE YEARBOOK,

AND THEN WE WROTE COMMENTS.

"TRANG PAK IS A GROTSKY LITTLE BYOTCH."

STILL TRUE.

- THIS IS THE CLIQUES ULTIMATE CONTRADICTION...

IN REALITY, THERE'S LITTLE TO SEPARATE THE PLASTICS

FROM THEIR FELLOW STUDENTS.

- WHY IS EVERYBODY STRESSING OVER THIS THING?