The Carmichael Show

The Carmichael Show is taped in front of a live studio audience.

Hey, y'all.

Cynthia, the kids are here.

Okay, I'll be out in a minute!

Aw, look how cute everybody is all

color coordinated for the family photo.

Yeah,

let's hurry up and take this picture.

Maxine and I look like mannequins

in a Kanye West outlet mall.

Wait, wait, wait, we were supposed to match?

I just threw this on this morning.

Power of the universe.

All right, now, boys,

me and your mama sat up for an hour last night

trying to figure out which pose we gonna do today.

It's either kids between adult legs,

peek-a-boo style or a pyramid.

Now, look, I've put on a little weight,

so, Jerrod, you and Bobby get over there

and see if you can support my weight.

Oh, yeah, this'll be fun.

You know, I was head cheerleader so I can be on top.

Oh, yeah, that'd be good...

Your mama ain't gonna let her be on top.

Cynthia...

Oh!

Maxine, you should knock before you

come into a kitchen.

Are you crying?

No.

Well, Cynthia, you're obviously crying.

You know, Maxine,

sometimes you harp on things and it is really annoying.

Bobby, get your ass up off the floor.

You know you ain't hurt.

Joe, I told you, kids between

adult legs peek-a-boo style!

Um, did something happen to you?

Enough of the questions, Maxine.

Let's talk about what's gonna happen

when you leave this kitchen.

I don't want you saying anything about this to anyone, okay?

Well, but, I just think that...

Listen, I...

am not one to threaten anyone

with physical violence, but...

...I'm willing to do what I have to do to keep this a secret.

Uh, I just want to make sure that you're okay.

You know what, Maxine,

I'm getting a snitch vibe from you.

You know what happens to snitches.

They get stitches.

No, they get dead.

Picture time!

Oh, look at my boys. You are gonna look

so nice in the picture.

Now let me run and get dressed.

I don't want us to be late.

Take your time.

We still working on this pyramid.

That ain't the way you do a pyramid.

What's the point of having two boys

if y'all can't even pick me up?

Um, has anyone noticed

anything off about Cynthia lately?

Well, she agreed to let you be in the family picture,

that's a little weird.

I told her she could cut you out.

You know, with, uh, Photoshop these days,

you can have the family you want

instead of the family you got.

Yeah, you could

Photoshop anything now.

Look, there's no reason why you should be online

looking ugly, okay.

Technology cured ugliness.

Look, I really think

that there's something wrong with her.

Maxine, you obviously know something.

Just tell us.

Don't make us fish around

for answers to clear your conscience.

If you're gonna snitch, just snitch.

Look, I saw your mom

crying in the kitchen, okay?

Snitch, snitch, snitch.

Joe, do we have to wait

until after the photo

before we crop her out?

Look, Cynthia, I'm sorry.

Of course, I had to tell them, I'm worried about you.

Wait, Mama, y-y-you okay?

Look, just say you're okay

even if you not okay, okay?

Bobby...

I am sure there's a legit reason

why Mom was crying in the kitchen.

I mean, Maxine's a very caring person, but sometimes she looks

for emotions where there aren't any.

Like if I'm quiet at home for more than an hour,

she keeps probing for answers

until I got to make up a lie about my father.

Dad, I'm sorry.

It's the only way to get her to stop.

Nothing is wrong, Bobby.

I just get a little sad.

I mean, sadness doesn't need a reason.

I just have all these feelings.

Look, your mama doesn't have to

explain herself to you.

She's had the blues lately.

You know, crying from time to time,

taking naps that turn into for real sleeping.

The big thing is your mama handled this

all on her own.

No, I think the big thing is

that she was crying alone in the kitchen.

Yeah, and what do you mean by she's had the blues lately?

Has this been happening a lot, Cynthia?

I don't know, maybe five, six, seven weeks.

Oh, here comes the tears.

Ma...

you've been crying alone

f-for five or six, seven weeks?

That's a huge problem.

Oh, that ain't... Five or six, seven weeks ain't nothing.

I had colds longer than that.

Dad, that's a huge problem, too.

Get that checked out.

You probably got walking pneumonia or something.

Jerrod, when you were a teenager,

you had the blues all the time.

No, Ma, that's called being a teenager.

Wait, yeah, Jerrod, you did get dumped a lot.

Again, it's called being a teenager.

Uh, Cynthia, can you try and describe

how you feel when you get like this?

Well, I don't know, it's...

I-it's that feeling like a wave just hits you

and you can't breathe, and each wave is-is bigger

than the last wave and it's just pushing you further

and further away from shore,

and you try to come up for air

but you can't.

You know. The blues.

No, don't-don't say you're drowning and you feel like

you're gasping for air, casually,

and call it, "the blues,"

and expect us not to be upset.

Cynthia, that sounds like depression.

Depression?!

Wait, that's what that is?

I've just been calling it,

"the case of the Mondays" for years.

Maxine, honey, working class people don't get depression.

Depression is a luxury of wealth and free time.

Mm-hmm.

That is right.

Depression is a disease of the opulent, you know,

like, um, affluenza or that...

truffle fingers.

Dad, there is no way truffle fingers is a real thing.

No, depression isn't real.

That's something rich people made up

'cause they were bored and they wanted to add

some adversity to their lives.

Imagine how boring Justin Bieber's bio would be

if it didn't say he had depression.

It would say birth, instant fame, dead at 27.

I ain't trying to wish something

on the boy, but I see the signs.

No, no, no, I get it, I get it, all right.

We were raised in an environment

where we were taught to believe depression isn't real

and we're supposed to ignore it 'cause it makes us appear weak.

However, it is a real thing,

and I don't want you two ignoring it

the way we ignore Uncle Jack's depression.

Your Uncle Jack is not depressed.

Uncle Jack hasn't left his house in 15 years.

Well, he has a very nice house.

That is not true.

He does not have a very nice house.

Well, it must be kind of nice,

he's been in there for 15 years!

Hey, y'all.

Joe, I got your text about the family photo,

and she ready to be the base of this pyramid.

Hey, Nekeisha, your braids and aggressive demeanor

tell us you've been through a lot of pain.

Would you please

explain to my parents

that depression is a real thing?

I thought depression was one of those things that

only rich people get, like tennis elbow or skin cancer.

Thank you!

Told you!

Who's depressed? Bobby?

They talking about me.