Willy Signori e vengo da lontano

THE ENGINE WILL NOT START

SOUND OF ENGINE

"TOSCA"

"MADAMA BUTTERFLY"

"l PGLIACCI"

ROCK MUSIC FROM THE CAR RADIO

"l PGLIACCI"

ROCK MUSIC FROM THE CAR RADIO

"l PGLIACCI"

ROCK MUSIC FROM THE CAR RADIO

Willy Signori is a journalist for a large Milanese newspaper.

Up until this moment he has always been a modestly happy man.

Willy Signori deals with crime news.

His job doesn't give him much satisfaction.

The misfortunes of others do not amuse him at all.

But this does not mean that Willy is not attentive and precise in his information.

Always ready to jump out of bed in the middle of the night...

... to reach the most inaccessible places.

Where there is misfortune there is Willy.

Where there is a catastrophe Willy arrives.

Where there is a tragedy Willy is never missing.

His career would only need a tidal wave...

...but in Milan it's unlikely.

Willy would like to deal with another sector, he isn't sure which one.

But one thing is certain...

..."Willy Signori" is a nice signature to put under an article.

Ugo Signori is Willy's brother, he is 10 years and 3 months older than him.

He was born in Tripoli.

They live together on the first floor of a building on the Navigli.

Their neighbor is the former porn star Ilona...

..famous in the 60s for her number with the python...

..the first in the history of porn.

Ugo is convinced that the cause of his handicap ...

..both the temperature change...

..suffered in childhood during the journey from Africa to Milan.

And Ugo Signori is a man who really believes in it.

He knows that only by returning to live in those torrid places...

..his legs will still be able to walk.

In their house the climate is tropical even in winter.

Ugo is totally dependent on his brother.

Willy washes him, puts him to bed and, every now and then, takes him to ...

..black women, of course.

Willy Signori has a girlfriend, Alessandra.

30 years old, graduated with top marks...

..assistant of Pathological Anatomy at the University.

Willy comes by to say hello to her in her office almost every morning.

he watches her while she works, fascinated by such grace...

..enraptured by the harmony of gestures.

They have been engaged for seven years.

Willy would like to marry her, start a family, but she doesn't.

Alessandra claims that it is better to live separately.

After making love they don't sleep together, Willy returns to his house.

With Alessandra a man certainly cannot be bored.

She is a volcano of ideas, a great organizer of evenings...

..Japanese, Vietnamese, Mexican restaurants...

..bridge tournaments, canasta, scientific scopine...

..and La Scala, opera is her great passion.

Verdi, Puccini, Mascagni, Rossini, Wagner, Bizet...

..Mozart, Cimarosa, Ponchielli, Bellini, Cilea.

And then the weekend...

..all dedicated to the physical, to nature, to the open air.

Breathe, breathe, breathe deeply!

For Willy Signori it is a real pleasure to share with her...

..these healthy Saturdays and Sundays.

An uninterrupted, overwhelming, unique pleasure.

Those two days were supposed to oxygenate the lungs...

..for the rest of the week.

This is why, despite appearances...

..Willy Signori is a man with a radiant present.

Ouch, the leg!

Gentleman!

Wake up, sir! There is the cliff.

Wakes up!

Help! Help!

Lord, you need to wake up in these cases!

We would need a stone, a nice rock to put under the wheel.

Where's a rock? There are never any stones in these moments.

Yet it is always full of rocks.

I saw a rock!

Help!

Wake up, asshole!

I can't do it. I can't do it!

I can't do it.

We are saved! We are saved! We are saved!

We are saved! We are saved! We are...

We're fucking saved! Murderer!

Then I'll do it on my own. I'll hold you until dawn.

Someone will pass by, right? Someone will pass!

A dog, a rabbit, a "expleted" priest, a slut going home!

Someone will pass by, right? Eh!

I can't do it.

I have to leave you, sir.

I'm leaving you!

Why you did this?

Why you did this?

Take a one-way street without warning?

At least warn, right?

They put one-way streets on purpose, because you can only go one way.

You can't go the other way, you know?

There was a big sign!

11 days later

Laws.

Director, change my sector. I could take care of animals.

In this big family of ours, as you say...

..no space is given to the problem of animal extinction.

There are 10 peregrine falcons left, all males.

How do they reproduce? Endangered!

There are four capercaillies, all females. How do they reproduce?

And if the peregrine falcon goes with the capercaillie...

..the peregrine grouse is born!

The lizard of Sudan, as we know very well, only one remains.

How does it reproduce? He is forced to masturbate.

I saw him in a photo with two dark circles like this.

If you agree with me, I would write a complex and daring article...

..about this topic.

Title: "Who do we breed the Sudan lizard with?"

Let's mate him with your wife! That slut!

TYPING NOISE The car does't...

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello? Hi.

What did I tell you?

I told you so.

Shut up, you idiot!

Until tomorrow. Bye.

- Do you want something? - No.

Can I do something for you?

"Fatal accident on Highway 23."

"Young man in a drunken state takes a one-way street..."

"..and collides with another car..."

"..falling into a cliff."

"He has been living with a young archeology student for a year."

We have been together for a year.

And then it says: bla... bla... bla...

It's true, everything is right.

But one thing is missing: the killer's name is missing.

She lives alone, she doesn't work, she studies. She has no one.

She is also pregnant. But what can I do?

On the other hand, he is the one who took the one-way route.

Do you take a one-way route that way if you have a pregnant woman?

And what do I have to do with it? Am I to blame? No.

In fact, this is a problem, your problem.

Ugo, this morning she came to me and she said "murderer".

It's okay, she's pregnant. But what can I do?

This is your problem. You have your problem, I have mine.

I understand, Ugo. But I wanted to talk about it with you.

What's my fault? What can I do?

What about me then? What can I do? I'm sitting here. Am I to blame?

Ugo, we were talking about another problem, my problem.

I understand. Good, you said it right, this is your problem.

You have to solve it, I don't have to solve it.

I have my problem too, but you can't solve it for me.

If you solve my problem, I'll solve yours.

Ugo, you don't understand. I'm talking about another problem, my problem.

I understand! You said it right, that's your problem.

You have to solve it, I don't have to solve it.

I have my problem too, but you can't solve it for me.

If you solve my problem, I'll solve yours.

Ugo, I talk about it with you because you are my brother...

You are my brother too. You solve the problem for me, I'll solve it for you.

Come on, solve it for me! Make me walk if you can!

- Ugo, we're talking about something else! - Not scream!

- I scream as much as I want! - You always do what you want.

You scream when you want, you walk when you want.

You're never home and when you come back you're always nervous!

Let's go live in Africa, the heat is good for my legs.

If I go back to Africa I'll start walking again, I can feel it!

- Ugo, tonight we're talking about me! - Then I don't care!

- Put me to bed. - No.

- Put me to bed! - No, tonight we're talking about me and my problem!

- Look me in the eyes when I talk to you. - Let me pass.

- I'll kick you in the balls and ruin you! -Okay, I'll take you to bed.

- Come on, come on. I'll put you to bed, you paralytic! -Bad!

The light.

The blanket!

Here, hold the blanket.

Turn it on!

I'll turn it on for you.

I hope there's a short circuit, you can't feel anything in your legs anyway, bad guy.

Bad you! I have never seen a disabled person mistreated like this.

- What's up? - The python.

Ilona this python is always at my house, something needs to be done.

- Hello, Willy. How is Ugo? - Is fine.

-Are you sure he doesn't need something? -No, he's fine.

Ilona, do you have two minutes? I would like to talk to you about something.

Do you want to talk about Ugo?

No, I would like to ask your opinion on a problem of mine. Do you have two minutes?

No, I don't have two minutes.

And just one minute?

No, I don't have a minute. I am sleepy.

Bye, Willy. Say hello to Ugo.

Good night. Bye.

Alessandra, do you have two minutes? I have to talk to you.

Certain. But wait a minute, I have to prepare the lesson.

The students will arrive soon.

- Mr Vincenzo, you have to go to Room 3, it's urgent. - I'm going.

Excuse me, can you hold the dead man for a moment?

- With my hand? - This is how I keep it.

Well.

Alessandra, I have to talk to you. I have a problem, I didn't sleep last night.

Love, just a moment. I'm almost done.