A Slight Case of Murder

...relax and be happy.

Why? Because it's short.

And that's the end of the good news about Cry Out,

the new film by wunderkind fright master,

Kevin "Don't Go Out There" Donaldson.

The latest addition to Mr. Donaldson's teen schlock horror canon

finds our luckless, scantily clad band of heroes at the mall.

Where over the course of the next

93 fun and gore-filled minutes,

we are treated to not one, but five grisly murders.

Now, I may be a literalist,

but if people were killing your best friends,

would you go back to the...

What if they think I killed her?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh.

Yep, dead.

I gotta call the police.

It was an accident. We had a tussle.

She slipped on an ice cube.

We had a tussle? A tussle? We had a fight!

She was hitting. She threw a drink at me.

Oh, my God!

How could this... How could this...

Or I could just leave.

Laurie, Laurie, Laurie.

If going to prison for the rest of my life

would bring you back, I would.

But what's the use in grieving over spilt milk?

I'm not saying you're spilt milk, I'm...

You know what I mean. All right.

All right, I wasn't here. I wasn't here.

Wait! The doorman.

Oh, no, the doorman.

Was the doorman there when we came in?

I don't think he was.

He didn't see us. Okay.

The only thing I have to do is get out.

Okay, I wasn't here. I wasn't here.

If I wasn't here, what would be different?

That.

Fingerprints. Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah, I've been to her place many times.

We went to a screening Thursday night.

I- I dropped her off at-at 10:00.

No, 9:00, 9:30-ish.

Okay, good. Good.

Whoops.

"For stress."

If this is not a stressful situation, there is no such thing.

This is gonna be just fine.

I was never here.

What a night.

Oh, my God. You that guy?

Sorry?

You know, on cable. The movie guy.

Yeah, yeah, I am.

What's your name?

Terry Thorpe. Right!

We watch you. Sometimes.

And I got to say, no offense, okay?

But I got to say, 75 percent of the time

you've got your head up your ass.

All due respect.

But my case in point, that boat movie, Titanic.

And they gave it the Academy Award.

What happened to, uh, L.A. Confidential?

That was a much superior movie.

Who are they gonna look to first, the police?

Friends? Lovers?

Lovers. Well, I-I-I think we're safe there.

We were pretty discreet.

Hell, even Kit didn't know about Laura.

Or Laura about Kit, for that matter.

She knew about her, but not that we were sleeping together.

Kit's the other woman I've been seeing.

You're married?

Come again?

I said, you're married?

N- No.

How'd you escape?

Sheer dent of will.

Girlfriend? Oh, yeah.

I hate you. I hate you!

Do you think I'm stupid?

I don't know one of your friends!

I have never been to your apartment!

You treat me like a hooker!

I'm just your whore! I'm your whore!

Ow!

Oh, Laura, what happened to that

rabidly independent woman I fell for?

Why couldn't you be more like Kit?

I'm sick of all this sneaking around.

I hate you! I hate you! Stop it, will you?

You're driving me insane! Please, please.

Stop it!

It's crazy, you know. It's crazy and they all do it.

Uh, sorry?

You could see it coming. It's a formula.

Bad guy's always gonna get caught.

Broad gets rescued on an iceberg.

Why not let her die once in a while?

Let some guy get away with murder.

Let the thief keep the jewels.

Here we go. It's $12.75.

You know what I'm saying?

I think you are absolutely right.

Of course, I'm right.

Keep it. Thanks a lot.

John Brant's office calling. Please return.

Terry, Terry, Terry! You're making me old.

Where's that Eisenstein piece? Call me.

Hi, it's Laura. You've left already?

I wanted to remind you to bring the Molly Haskell book.

Never mind. Can't wait to see you.

Can't wait to see you.

Oh, Laura, things were going so well.

Why'd you have to go and do a header?

Who's there? Come on up.

Mr. Petrovsky, my intercom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Fix it!

I fix it! I fix it! Check on it. Check on the first...

Whatever you're saying, just fix it.

Mr. Thorpe, isn't it?

Can I help you?

Well, sir, I think, it's the other way around.

I think I can help you.

Uh...

Help me with...

With this.

I, uh, found it. Under her.

Why don't we talk inside?

Nice. Very nice. Nice place.

You from the police?

Mmm-mmm. Private investigator.

That was his best.

I was on surveillance last night outside the apartment.

Mrs. Penney's husband hired our agency.

Laura was married?

Um, legally separated, I believe.

The point is, I was there.

I saw the two of you enter the building together,

and I saw you come out alone.

So?

Well, I must say, Mr. Thorpe, you were acting kind of strange.

You passed up two available cabs in the rain.

But then quickly flagged one just around the corner.

You followed me?

I did.

I followed you uptown and got your name off your mailbox.

You should get your intercom fixed.

You can't just be buzzing anybody in here.

You know what I mean?

Thank you. I've spoken to the management.

So, I went back downtown and let myself in.

You broke in?

Mr. Thorpe, I don't think you ought to start using harsh words.

You know?

There's two of us could do that.

All right, get to the point.

You know what I found in the apartment.

An envelope.

And a body on top of it.

It was an accident.

That's a possibility.

On the other hand, you did run away.

You did try to hide your presence.

And, you'll notice here, you do look guilty as hell.

That's high-speed film. No flash.

Pretty amazing, huh?

This one's not so good technically,

but, uh, it does have good story value.

The negatives are back at my office.

Blackmail?

Now, there you go with the harsh words again.

I just thought you might be interested

in buying the negatives, that's all.

How much?

Well, that's... That's a very rare photograph.

And I'm a very poor man.

You're a successful movie reviewer.

I'm a writer.

So is Stephen King.

$35,000. What?

I don't have that kind of money.

Well, then I guess I'll just go for the glory of the arrest.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, I didn't say I don't have any money.

I don't bargain.

Here's my card if you should change your mind.

Close of business today is when I turn in my report.

That's my name, John Edgerson.

If you call, ask for Ed.

Hey, Mr. Thorpe, look at the bright side.

The bright side?

If you decide not to pay, you've got a full day's head start.

Hey, Todd, thank you so much for seeing me on short notice.

I was wondering about the possibility of getting an advance

on that idea we talked about.