Big Shot

...chair! Throw a chair! - Coach, you're gone.

Are you trying to leave us?

I was, okay? But I'm not now.

Curse of this play has struck again.

We find ourselves in need of a new lead.

I really, really want this.

The role of Beth Macbeth will go to…

Harper Schapira. - Yes!

I tried out for the lead in the play, and I got blindsided by Harper.

I could help you run lines after school.

Mouse, you're the best.

You're a great friend.

Tell her you like her.

So, it's a personal song? - About you.

If you wanted to be her mother, you should have made that choice when you had her.

Wow.

…stole the ball!

Randy, what's up?

UCSB has an opening for a head coach.

They wanna talk to you.

Nice touch.

Marvyn, welcome. Arielle, AD here.

Big, big fan. - Thank you. Thanks, nice to meet you.

And thank you, Randy, for taking the time and making the connection here.

Hey, I know a good fit when I see one.

Yeah. Chef Hamada has made a Marvyn Korn roll in your honor.

A Marvyn Korn roll? I wonder what that is, huh?

Just the way Kalm Korn likes it. - Oh, God.

Absolutely brilliant way to rehab your image, by the way.

Yeah. - Well, yeah. The girls did it, but…

Love that.

They must be thrilled you're getting them to DII.

Yeah, well, we're trying.

Oh, please. You'll make it happen.

That's what he does. Takes lemons, makes lemonade.

And that is exactly what we want you to do here.

Our players have potential, but they need you to take them,

and us, to the next level.

Yeah, it's all about building a winning mentality,

and I know winning.

No question.

So, how do you feel about getting a little jump start?

Maybe meeting some of our key players?

It's just a chemistry experiment.

You know, see how you gel with these college guys.

As opposed to high school girls.

Well, we have no concerns.

Right. The board.

Well, you know how they can be. But just indulge us. It might even be fun.

Okay. Yeah, I'd like to meet a few players.

Great. I'll set it up.

Come on, Marvyn.

Picture yourself out there.

This is where you belong.

Everybody loves a good comeback story.

Get those knees up.

Come on, girls! Nice, Mouse.

Nice. Get your knees up, Olive.

You heard her, Olive. Get your knees up.

There you go. - Good. Good, good, good, good.

Well, that's new. - What?

Piggybacking on my coaching? I like it.

Well, you're finally coaching like I coach.

You learned from the best. - Oh, that's so clever.

You just complimented yourself by complimenting me.

You're welcome. I have something to tell you later.

Tell me now. - Nah, it's too big for now.

No. Come on. You can't do that to me. - I just did.

Bring it in girls. Come on. Bring it in.

Good. Good, good, good, good.

Good hustle. I like it. - Well, we got a big game coming up.

Carlsbad is the only thing that stands between us and DII.

And we're going to destroy them.

Sirens on three!

Not now, Mouse. - But that was good, Mouse. That's good.

All right, I have a small announcement. Actually, it's a big announcement.

As you can see, the Drama Club is using our gym for their play this week.

You mean your girlfriend's using our gym.

Guess we know who wears the pants in this relationship.

Guess we know who's doing five laps right now.

Go!

Now, for those of you not critiquing my relationship,

I just want you to know their play is not going to interfere with our practice.

Good, because we've got a lot of work to do before the Carlsbad game next week.

I love this! See, this is the enthusiasm I'm talking about.

You girls have it. Good, good. Samantha, you ready?

I've been going over the playbook every night, Coach.

It's a lot to keep in my head. - Well, that's why we practice.

Keep practicing and it becomes part of your DNA.

Then maybe we should do three-a-days?

I don't think so. No, I--

Believe it or not, there is such a thing as over-practicing.

Let's just keep safe and healthy, okay?

Okay, girls, why don't you join Louise in her laps?

Why? We didn't critique his weird relationship.

Well, you just did.

Yeah. So laps.

Good.

They look good.

Good.

Okay, now you can tell me the thing you couldn't tell me.

Oh.

That's why you had 'em run laps? - Yeah.

I'm impressed. That's good. - Thank you.

How? I thought you were in coach jail?

Well, apparently I've been paroled.

And guess one of the things they liked most about me.

Kalm Korn. - How'd you know?

Because I said it humanizes you

And you said, "Yeah, that's exactly what colleges aren't looking for."

I don't talk like that. - You're impossible.

Are you really leaving?

Well…

…I haven't got the firm offer yet, but I'm meeting with a few of the players.

Who else knows about this?

Nobody. No one. And I don't want anyone to know until I get the offer.

What about Sherilyn? - Oh.

No. Yeah.

Don't you want to give her a heads-up? - No. Just you, only.

Why? Why me?

Because if I leave… I want you to take my spot.

As head coach?

Mm-hmm.

I think you'd be perfect for it.

That is if you want it. - You know I want it.

Okay, good.

Then it's decided.

I'm gonna tell Sherilyn that you're my choice. Although not yet.

Yeah, okay. - Okay.

What happened?

Are you okay?

I don't know. I think I twisted it.

Okay, don't panic.

Can you move it?

Not much.

All right, girls. Get her to the locker room, get some ice on it.

Help her up. Help her up. There you go.

Go slow.

They're gonna be devastated by your news, you know.

Not to mention Emma.

They're kids. They'll be fine.

Gotta worry about my point guard now.

Opening night's in a few days. - Mm-hmm.

Nervous? - Mm-mmm.

I was thinking about doing the play in the nude.

Sounds good.

Wait, what?

What's going on with you? - Sorry.

My mom just called.

Her job in Italy is almost done, and she wants me

to go to this prep school next year she's all excited about.

This is-- This is in Wisconsin.

Do you wanna go back there?

Are you kidding? I wanna stay here. One thousand percent!

Okay.

Well, what did your mom say when you told her?

I didn't.

She'd be so upset.

Me being here was supposed to be temporary.

Well, maybe get your dad to tell her.

No. The whole custody thing is sticky, and besides, this is my problem to solve.

Okay, so what are you going to do? - Right now?

We are going to go to tech rehearsal for the play.

Are you really that excited to see Harper adjust her spotlight for three hours?

What are you doing?

Between my mom and opening night, I am in no mood to deal with Harper.

Okay.

Nice of you to finally join us, Harper.

Call me Beth when I'm in costume. It's a method thing.

And I was having it fitted.

This is a tech rehearsal. You're not supposed to be in costume.

I understand you're upset that I got the role you wanted.

Your dad may have gotten you into this school,

but he can't get you this part.

Yeah. Only your mom could do that.

The only thing my mother's ever given me is raw talent.

Talent?

The only thing you're talented at is manipulation.

Watch your step, Korn.

You do not want to cross me.

I'll settle for upstaging you.

Ladies.

How about we refocus this energy on the play?

But you're married. - Look, I love my husband,

but when I see a hot guy on TV, I let him know.

Cold.

No, no, no, it's preventative. It's like zinc, you know?

When you've been married as long as we have,

a little jealousy is like salt on the rim of the glass.

Ah. - Mm-hmm.

What are you guys doing?

We are having Margarita Monday, which you were not invited to,

so the real question is, what are you doing here?

I heard mariachi music playing down the hall. I--

Why aren't you guys at a restaurant?

Well, Marvyn, Margarita Monday's not a place. It's a state of mind.

Ah.

So, see, if it's Monday and Sherilyn and I have margaritas, it's Margarita Monday.

Besides, the restaurant was closed, and are you eyeing my fajitas?

No, I don't even like fajitas.