Divorce

Who you have literally nothing to say to.

- I want a divorce. - Are you drunk?

I made one wrong decision. Julian meant nothing.

I need to know, how many times did you have intercourse?

Thirty? Thirty-two?

What the fuck?!

You had an emotional affair.

Never physical. I did not cross that line.

Wow!!

- Right? - Wow.

You need to destroy him before he destroys you.

He's the father of my children.

Tell your children you're getting divorced.

It's like the first day of divorce school.

- I want to bea good student. - Robert, let's go.

Your mother and I are getting a divorce. Do you have any questions?

No, I'm good.

It is the perfect spot for the Frances Dufresne Gallery.

It's exciting and terrifying.

Residential real estate is when opportunity

meets risk meets ebb meets flow.

That's barely a sentence.

This block is such a boneyard for small businesses.

Oh, but it's perfect for a gallery.

This opening is miraculous.

- Hello? - Hello, Frances.

This is Robert's new lawyer.

Tony Silvercreek is one of the most disgusting lawyers.

- What are you doing? - You don't have to act ugly.

That's what I'm here for.

I don't know who your wife's lawyer is,

but wow, your assets are frozen. Court order.

Are you authorised to have custody over your children?

We haven't had any custody disputes.

Until now.

You have made a terrible, irreparable mistake.

Ticket, please.

- Thanks. Thank you, ma'am. - Thank you.

Ticket, please.

Now, hold on there, buddy.

All right, given that your client had a recent payout from her company,

it is not out of line to reopen the discussion of spousal support.

Your client called the cops on her! He's lucky he's not in jail.

My client deeply regrets the events of last month.

I do.

I know.

And as the documents clearly show,

my client has opened a small gallery.

She does not have the income, nor, frankly, the obligation

to support your completely not-infirm client.

He should get a job. Shovel snow, drive a cab,

sell one of those ridiculous flop-houses.

Flip house, Elaine. Saw what you did there.

It is a sound investment.

Robert gets the children for dinners

- on Wednesdays and Saturdays. - Mm-hmm.

Until he gets the walls on the bathroom of your "sound investment,"

they do not spend the night.

I'd also like my Eagles albums.

- Wait, what? - "Hotel California",

"Live", and "Best Of," volumes one and two.

Fine, whatever.

You know, I'm just gonna step in here and remind you both

that these are important decisions, and Elaine and I are more than happy

- to do another go-round on the docs. - Absolutely.

We should officially enter the Eagles into the agreement.

Honestly, we have been doing this for weeks!

I'm very happy to go on the record right now

and say in front of everybody that Robert can have

all of the Eagles albums, okay?

One last one. There you go.

Congratulations.

- "Congratulations," really? - Ah, yeah.

Good luck.

You going to the Southern District dinner?

Like I've got a fucking choice?

I just go to see Judge Werner get shit-faced every year.

Best part.

The after-party is fucked-up.

- Sure is. - Yeah.

Here, do you wanna...?

- Oh. - Go.

You going back to Hastings?

Yeah, the 2:49.

- What about you? - Yeah, me, too.

Taxi!

Train to Poughkeepsie now arriving at track one.

Train to Poughkeepsie, track one.

- Hello. - There you are.

So how did it go?

Uh, not what I expected.

You know, I mean, after all the really painful stuff,

the thing that you'd think would be hardest...

The actually signing of the divorce papers...

It just... wasn't hard at all.

It was like, um...

It was like nothing, you know?

One minute, you're married, and the next minute,

it's like, "Yeah, bye-bye, see ya, nice knowing ya."

Anticlimactic is good. You don't want any last minute fireworks.

- Trust me. - No, you're right, you're right.

So, uh, yeah, what now?

You know, I'm realizing that I spent so much time

focusing on what might happen today

that I just didn't let myself think about the future.

- You remember you did this? - Mm-hmm.

So, now what? I'm divorced.

- I'm officially divorced. - It's a milestone.

I went out and got a tattoo of a tiny bird on my ass

- when my divorce was finalized. - Really?

Yeah, it started out as Snow White holding a tiny bird,

but I couldn't handle the pain, so.

Dallas.

- Robert. - Hi.

- Same train, different car. - After what he pulled,

I can't even imagine you staying in the same state as him.

- Whoa! - Sorry.

Get out of the way. Yeah, no, it was, um...

You know, it was awful.

But I know he regrets it,

and I need to move on, you know?

I need to clear out all the old shit

and just start fresh.

You know, I want our... I want our home to be happy again.

I want the kids to be good.

Make sure to take care of Frances, too, okay?

Thanks. Frances will be A-OK.

Okay, I have to go. I have a client emergency.

Really, I'm not your biggest emergency?

- Ugh, not by far. - Well, that's good news!

Hey, thanks for seeing me.

Of course. Come in.

Hold on a second, when you said, "Come in here,"

you meant, like, "come in you," right?

Oh, Jesus, don't talk.

Show me that little birdie, you hot fucking minx!

- Come on. - No!

Oh, my God!

Oh, toilet paper. Goody, goody, goody.

Why'd you leave your job if it means that we can't have normal cereal?

Well, 'cause the company was restructuring.

You know, they were getting...

They were getting smaller, and...

they needed people to leave.

And they...

they actually paid me to go.

You know, it's a... A fantastic opportunity.

And, really, kind of fortuitous timing, right?

I mean, I... it allowed for me to spend more time with you guys,

which is exactly what I wanted.

And I could really concentrate on the gallery.

Can I get a pallet lifter to 14, please?

Yeah, okay, we'll get this in the normal store.

July 2008? Jesus.

We gotta mop the floor, install the glass,

paint the walls, and get you a door.

- Exactly. - I'm a bit shorthanded.

I lost three of my best guys last week.

Goddamn deportations.

- No, they just got better jobs. - Oh.

So, look, you're the boss.

Right now, we're looking at a month or two,

and it'll cost you around 10K.

Craig, it's a shitter, it's not the White House.

I understand that. I'm just being honest.

You give me a deposit and I get started.

Listen,

I know you're against it with money right now.

I want you to have your kids.

You know how to hang drywall, right?

I mean, I worked construction through college.

I need some expert hands. I'm just putting it out there.

Pays 20 bucks an hour.

That is a generous offer, Craig,

and I appreciate the reach out,

but I got a few irons in the fire still.

Yeah, in fact, I'm late for a meeting in the city.

Maybe you noticed the suit and tie, huh?

I did.

I thought maybe you were going to a funeral or something.

Good morning, Frances!

Good morning.

Ta-da!

This is to celebrate your papers being signed...

...and for me officially investing in the gallery.

Thank you, thank you. But it's a loan.

It's a loan. I'm paying you back.

La, la, la, la, la! I can't hear you.

Nobody deserves Nick's money more than you, except me.

Aw, that's very, very sentimental.

I thought, uh...

I thought you weren't imbibing.

I'm not. I'll just watch you drink.

So how are you doing, Frances? Are you doing okay?

Uh, I will be once I get a decent night's sleep.

Oh, my goodness, why didn't you say so?

Here.

Try this... Xanax. It'll knock you right out.

I took two of these last week before yoga

and I woke up four hours later in Zumba.