Uncle Buck

Where's Miles? He's missing breakfast.

Maybe he's upstairs, studying.

That's always funny.

Right? Well, who gets his waffle?

Ah! Prison rules!

Hey, Miles, hurry up and get down here before Buck licks your bacon!

Ah, too late.

- Oh. - Do we have any more helium?

- More helium? - Mnh-mnh.

- Oh, damn. - Mnh-mnh.

Look. It's the old man from "Up."

Miles, stop! What are you doing?

Wait, Mom. Let this play out.

Well, we had the extra helium left over from Maizy's birthday,

so I thought balloon chair would be great

for my YouTube channel, "Going the Extra Mile with Miles."

Sounds good, but you should call it "The Miles High Club."

Not even a little appropriate.

Miles, what were you thinking?

I was thinking I'd like to see the curvature of the earth,

or at least Lake Michigan.

And how were you planning on getting down?

Okay, I'm gonna say something

I've said a shocking number of times...

"Hand me the knife, son."

Oh, hell no. That's my knife.

Gi... Hey!

Baby, listen to me. You cannot do things like this.

- It's too dangerous. - She's got a point.

Tia, go get me a chair. The boys needs a co-pilot.

No! Nobody's flying today.

Miles, go upstairs.

We'll talk about this in a minute.

Honey, what are we gonna do with him?

Well, we need to have another boy.

'Cause the way he's going, the Russell name is gonna die with me.

Oh, no, I'm sure there are a couple little Bucks out there.

You can't prove that.

There's a lot of black people with this nose.

Can you excuse us for a minute, please?

I think I can.

So, I guess we can thank your brother for yet another near catastrophe.

What are you talking about? This isn't Buck.

Miles has always been impulsive.

He has gotten worse since your brother's been here.

Hey!

What are you doing?

We're doing indoor s'mores.

Yeah, the torch was my idea.

It's like they feed off of each other.

Okay, maybe Miles is going through something

and, yes, maybe I have thought about increasing our insurance,

but this has nothing to do with Buck.

Alexis! Toss me my knife.

The handle side, though.

Whoo!

Whoa! Denied, fool!

C'mon, man. You got to give me that one.

You the man.

What, you upset about your balloon chair?

Yeah. I mean, Mom and Dad just got so freaked out.

Well, that's their job. If you die, they get arrested.

Down in Atlanta, I was a legend.

People did not know what I was gonna do next.

But down here, nobody knows who I am.

I get it. Trying to build a rep, ain't you?

Yeah, exactly.

Tia's perfect, and Maizy's so cute

that if she farts, everybody goes, "Aww."

I mean, being unpredictable is my thing.

Preach, little brother. Preach. Let the haters hate.

Finally, someone around here understands me.

- Yeah. - Thanks, Uncle Buck.

I'm glad that you're living with us.

Aw, man. Me too. You know what?

Between your balloon chair and Maizy's little farts,

you kids are pretty entertaining.

Okay, guys! Let's go. It's line-up time. Come on.

I'm gonna step out. Line-ups never sway my way.

Now, before we go to parent-teacher meetings,

does anyone have anything they think we should know?

We don't want to hear any surprises.

Depends. Do you find the words "straight A's

and exemplary compliance with the school code" surprising?

Oh. You know I don't. That's my girl!

Look for my drawing.

Some of the kids say it's a masterpiece,

but I don't do it for the applause.

I'm looking forward to it.

You know, I've been a big fan of yours

since your stick-figure period.

Uh, Miles, you're not looking at me.

Is there something you want to tell us?

You know what? Skip mine. It's boring.

You two should go to dinner, reconnect as a couple.

I hear there's a great new tapas place on Randolph Street.

Uh, y-y'all go and get out of here.

I'll make sure they don't have no fun.

Why are you hugging me so hard?

Because I may not want to when I get home.

- You ready, honey? - Mm-hmm.

Let's go. Bye, kids!

I'm so grounded.

You stay in trouble. What'd you do?

Today on the "Extra Mile with Miles,"

we're gonna settle the age-old question...

Who's faster, the rat from the biology lab

or the first-grade hamster?

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Go, go, go, go, go!

Come on! Go, go, go!

Oh, no! The rat's eating the hamster.

- Ooh. That took a turn. - Gross!

But it's still going the extra mile with Miles.

Oh.

So that's what happened to Sprinkles.

- The rat went rogue. - You're cooked, Miles.

Say goodbye to outdoors, desserts,

your homemade nunchuks.

And maybe think about what you did to Sprinkles.

Yeah, they right. You're going to the hole.

But that don't mean we can't do it big tonight.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about a "going to jail" party.

That's what you do

the night before your homeboy gets locked up.

You show them a good time before you doin' time.

Awesome!

Man, I want to go to jail!

And the wonderful lessons continue.

Sprinkles lost a lot of blood,

but he's on the road to recovery.

Eventually, the rat race gets us all.

Am I right?

Okay, it's too soon.

We're finding that Miles kind of lives in the moment.

He doesn't think of consequences.

Well, you know, we're going through some changes at home,

and he is 12 years old.

There's lots of hormones splashing around in there.

Well, it can be a difficult time.

FYI, parental body-shaming at this age

can have lasting negative effects.

So you might want to watch that.

Oh, no, I wasn't... We don't body-shame.

We actually don't even talk to him about his body at all.

So he's often left to figure things out on his own?

Now, do you two argue in front of Miles?

- I'm sure we've had disagreements in front of him. - Mm...

But nothing big. Like, no yelling or screaming or anything like that.

Right, honey?

No. No, no. We don't scream or yell.

If we feel like yelling,

we just stuff it down and get silent.

You're doing an awful lot of writing, there.

Just making a few notes for my files.

- Nothing to worry about. - Oh, I'm not worried.

Did you just write that I'm not worried?

Hmm.

Uncle Buck, this is amazing.

I'm playing two video games and drinking hard soda.

Go ahead, drink another Red Bull.

You ain't got to drive.

Tonight's all about the stuff that you're gonna lose

when the warden gets home.

- Can I swear? - Within reason.

- Ass. - Ooh, that's the sweet spot.

- Can I say the "S" word? - Huh?

- Stupid! - Oh, I like that.

You zigged, then you zagged.

Are you sure this party

is a good message to be sending Miles?

You don't know what it's like to be

a teenager that gets in trouble all the time.

I do. And I'm here to tell you...

I'm your ghetto Jimmy the Cricket.

It's "Jiminy," and I don't think he lived in the city.

Look, I think you're going about this all wrong,

and I don't want to be a part of...

Hey, that's my jam!

- Yes! - Yeah!

That's what I'm talking about.

But that doesn't mean I'm endorsing this party.

Oh, okay.

Miles, it's too loud! It's making my heart attack.

Turn it up louder... louder!

So people hear it and know where the party's at, right?

Yes, sir. The party's over here, dude.

No, sir, there's no party over here.

We're having a "going to jail" party.

Uh, don't pay no attention to her.

She's 6 and drinks out of a sippy cup.

Just keep it down, because if we come back again,

we'll have to issue a citation.

Uh, who snitched?

Sorry, sir. We're not allowed to divulge that information.

All right. Have a good day.

That's our creepy neighbor,

Mr. Creepy Neighbor.

I named him.

He's been a jerk ever since we moved here.