Jack the Giant Slayer

"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum."

"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum."

Ask not whence the thunder comes.

Ask not where the herds have gone.

Nor why the birds have ceased their song.

When coming home, don't take too long.

For monsters roam in Albion.

Jack, you're still up.

Sorry, Father.

The giants woke me. Jack, heh, it's a thunderstorm. Mother used to say...

...the giants made the thunder.

Look.

Where did you find that?

Along with her old things.

Will you read the rest to me?

All right.

Where're we up to?

The monks were trying to find God, so they made magic... Magic seeds. Aye.

I remember now.

"With seeds they pulled from a magical pod...

...the monks grew a pathway to seek out their God.

But when they came to what they thought...

...was heaven's gate they met with a terrible, grisly fate.

For between heaven and earth was a perilous place.

Gantua, home to a fierce giant race.

With a bridge now before them to the world of men...

...a plague of giants descends.

Taking a cue from the richest of kings they acquired a taste for acquiring things.

But the one taste that caused them to lose all control..."

"Was a taste for the mankind, blood, bones and all....."

Well, that's revolting. Too scary, Isabelle?

Giants aren't scary.

Not even their terrifying leader, a monstrous giant with two heads?

Keep reading, Mother. It's just a story.

Is it?

"King Erik, bade the monks return to dark arts...

...to find some way to rule giant hearts.

So they melted one down mixed in magic and more...

...and they crafted a crown unlike any before."

King Erik's magic crown.

This is my favorite part.

"As soon as the king took the crown in hand...

...the giants were slave to his every command.

He sent them back to the place of their birth.

Their home now a prison between heaven and earth.

Erik severed the link between giants and men."

"And peace returned to his kingdom again.

The mystical relics were all that remained.....

...safe with Erik through the years that he reigned.

And when time came at last for King Erik to sleep...

...he took crown and seed with him for permanent keep."

"And as the king's bones slowly crumbled away truth became legend."

Or so people say.

What will happen when the giants come back?

They won't, son. But what if they do? Jack.

Well, I guess the king's Guardians...

...will have to cut them down to size. I want to be a Guardian then.

You have the spirit, Son. No doubt about that.

But the king's Guardians must be born...

...of noble blood. There's not much in ours but dirt and sweat.

It's only a story, Jack.

Giants aren't real.

But King Erik was real.

He was.

In some ways, he still is.

- You're of his blood. - I have seen where he's buried.

In the royal catacombs? Sounds like you have been having some adventures of your own.

- Am I in trouble? - Not at all.

I want you to have adventures.

- It will make you a better queen. - How?

Because you will get to see how the world works.

And when you're queen, you will have the power to make the world a better place.

Now off to sleep.

Sweet dreams...

...Isabelle.

Leave that one.

All right.

Now get some sleep, Son. We have to be out on the field before first light. Father.

How do you know giants aren't real?

I don't.

"And jealous eyes are looking down on peaceful fields in Albion.

An enemy vows will come a day when giants return and giants stay.

To wage a war and this time win...

...and to eat the last...

...of Erik's kin."

Jack. When you are back from selling the horse.....

...get working on the weeds out back.

They're about to swallow the house.

I will get to it, Uncle.

- And, Jack? - Yes, Uncle?

Don't get distracted.

Come on, don't look at me like that.

I wouldn't sell you, but we haven't got much choice.

Horse and cart for sale. Going for a price.

I will be sad to see him go.

Horse and cart?

Fee-fi-fo-fum.

Ask not whence the thunder comes.

Ask not where the herds have gone.

Nor why the birds have ceased their song.

When coming home, don't take too long, for monsters roam in Albion.

Now let's turn that frown upside down.

Here comes King Erik with his magic crown. Hello, mates.

I am Erik the Great.

Hello, Erik. Would you like to hear how I defeated the giants? Yeah....

In Gantua we set our scene where a stalk has grown from a magic bean.

And from there, beyond the reach of men, a plague of giants did descend.

And what do we have over here?

Hello, pretty. And what might your name be?

None of your business.

Very pretty.

- Where did you get that? - Very nice.

From my mother. Now, please, let me be.

Come on, go after her.

Where do you think you're going?

What's the matter? Not enjoying the show? Get your hands off me.

Hey. Hey, that's no way to treat a... Unh.

...lady.

To be honest, you looked a little too drunk to do that.

Now. What say we let the good lady go home and I will consider forgetting all about this.

We're sorry, sir. We don't want any trouble.

Good. Because that's what you're going to get. Trouble.

Yeah. All three of you.

A whole lot of trouble.....

There's something behind me, isn't there?

What's your name?

Jack.

Something wrong with your knees, Jack?

Hup. Forward.

Where's my cart?

Has anyone seen my cart?

Roderick.

Roderick. What? The king wants to see you. Why?

- Princess has wandered off again. - Pfft.

You going to let her do that kind of thing once you two is married?

When we're married, as far as I am concerned, she can wander off a cliff.

I have bigger plans.

Roderick, why do you think them monks shave their heads like that? Heh.

Is that so God can see into their brains?

That's what I like about you, Wicke. Stuffed to the gills with insatiable curiosity.

Now, that's a pity.

Oh, thank God, it's still here.

Close the gates to the city, take some men and find that monk.

And by the authority of the Lord High Constable of Cloister...

...this gate will remain closed until I find what I am looking for.

I am looking for a thief.

If you ain't stolen nothing, you ain't got nothing to worry about. You.

There. With the bald head.

Turn around, let me see your face. Enough. Bow.

Him. Oi.

On your knees. Horse for sale. Last chance, going for a great price.

He's a good horse for a cart if you had one. I will give you 10 coppers.

Ten? Really?

I am on an urgent mission. Life and death.

Yeah, all right, deal. Now, I don't have the money with me. But there's money at the abbey.

I am sure you're an honest man. I'd much rather sell Anser to a man of the cloth than...

...a butcher but I can't afford to go home empty-handed. Of course. Of course.

You idiot. I want to see their baldy heads.

Which is why I am offering you collateral.

Beans.

Not just beans.

They are holy relics, from a very special time long, long ago.

They look like beans to me.

They are priceless to the monks of Cloister. Certainly worth far more...

...than 10 coppers. Whatever happens you must bring those beans back to the abbey.

Take them to Prior Puffin and tell him that Brother Abel sent you.

- You will get your money. I promise. - Brother Abel, these are just beans.

Son, those beans have the power to change the world as we know it.

Don't lose them.

And whatever you do...

...don't get them wet.

Stop that.....

.....monk.

Watch out.

You there. Stop.

Grab him.

Take him down.

Block the exit. Grab him now.

Stay where you are.

Don't move.

Hello, monk.

I am sorry, Elmont.

Sorry for what, princess?

Well, I don't mean to make your job so hard all the time, it's just...

...sometimes, I have to get out of here.

I don't ask for much in return for all those years I put food in your belly...

...clothes on your back, a roof over your head.

So, what do I have to show for it?

Beans.

I will take them to the abbey tomorrow and tell the monks what happened.

You believe that story?

I mean, he was a monk.

- Because he wore a robe? - Funny haircut? Yeah.

No.

Monks have no money.

They're monks.

The man robbed you.

Jack, you have got to grow up. You're 18 years old.

And I am not going to be around forever.

Majesty.