Room at the Top

Town hall, please.

Very good, sir.

It's valuation, but it's kind of complicated

because part of the property is outside the boundary.

Is it type one or type two?

- Oh, Mr Barnes. - I thought it would be Mr Barnes.

- Yes, love? - My name is Lampton, Joe Lampton.

Oh, yes, you're coming to work here, aren't you?

One moment, please.

I'm sorry, sir, what were you saying?

Mr Hoylake will see you right away.

My name's Young. Thanks very much.

Come in. We didn't expect you until Monday.

Sit down.

We're not accustomed to such an excess of zeal.

Well, it's not exactly that, Mr Hoylake. I...

I'm not surprised that you wanted to leave Dufdon as soon as possible.

You'll find big differences here, you know? Not only the work.

You'll meet a different class of people.

We pride ourselves on being civilised here in Warnley.

Dufdon's not much of a place, but...

we're not exactly savages there, you know, Mr Hoylake.

You think not?

Well, what did you come to see me about?

Well, I thought perhaps...

You see, I have to get fixed up in digs.

You shouldn't have any difficulty.

- Soames. - 'Yes, sir?'

- You might come in. - 'Right, Mr Hoylake.'

You'll be working with Soames, internal audits.

He's got digs somewhere near Top.

Top's the fashionable district.

He's very comfortable, I believe.

Come in.

Charles Soames, Joe Lampton. Lampton's the new man.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

He hasn't got anywhere to live. Can you help him?

Oh, I think so.

I'll leave it to you, then.

We'll have a long session later on.

I'll keep an hour on Monday morning for you.

This is it. And that's your desk.

Well, he didn't keep you long in the firing line.

Joe, this is Miss Samson, better known as June.

Joe Lampton, latest addition to Treasurer's Department chain gang.

I think I'm going to enjoy my sentence.

I don't mind you enjoying it, but you don't have to smack your lips.

Got a hot tip, Charles. Dog in the second race tonight.

- Interested? - No! But hold on a minute.

Meet new boy Joe Lampton. Teddy Merrick.

God help you. I got to run.

Well, Charles? How about those reports?

Oh, aye, Stampton reports. Now, where did I put them?

Somewhere in here. Have you tried looking under your skirt?

- What do you mean? - You're sitting on them, love.

Oh, what a thing I have to put up with!

Be seeing you.

She belong to us?

Where did you get that proprietorial plural?

I meant the Treasurer's Department.

No, she's Health's typist. We have our own talent.

Now... digs.

Mabel, would you get me an outside line?

No, dear, it's not a personal call.

Look, Mabel,

I don't want to argue with you, just get me an outside line

or I'll put tuppence in your moral little slot next time I'm passing.

Constipated bitch! You'd think she had shares in the corporation.

Warnley 4-3-1-5.

That's not for you, lad.

- But I can look, can't I? - Not like that, you can't.

There's a law against undressing women in the street.

Hello, is that you, Mrs Thompson? Charles Soames here.

I was wondering if I might bring a Mr Lampton to see you?

We'll be at the house long before that. Thank you, Mrs Thompson.

Well, that's as good as fixed, and at the best digs in Warnley, too.

Is that what you really want?

A clerk's dream? A girl with a Riviera tan and a Lagonda?

That's what I'm going to have.

Come on, let's go.

Nobody ever goes to Dufdon.

They just pass through it.

A Sunday treat of fish and chips,

wrapped in a greasy "News of the World".

And for chaps like me,

prospects as appetising as yesterday's fish-paste sandwich.

You know, when I was a POW,

at least there was a limit to the time that you serve,

but Dufdon, that seemed like a lifetime sentence.

You shouldn't be so nostalgic

on your first day away from the home fires, you know?

I was looking at your river.

Kids fishing and swimming in it.

In Dufdon the canal's like a sewer.

Kids never had a chance to fish or swim, and the people...

well, I suppose they never had a chance either.

And somehow here,

well, it's so different.

You wouldn't believe it, Charles.

But you make Warnley sound so special, Joe, so very special.

It is special. It's not Dufdon.

Not everybody admires the view from here.

Look, Joe, there's the Top. That's where the money is.

Lots of lovely houses up there, you know, Joe.

I'll have one of those.

- I'm going to have the lot. - Oh, no, you're not!

Not in local government you're not. Did you ever work it out, brother?

In 20 years' time you could be sitting in Hoylake's chair.

That's as high as you can go.

And that means £1,000 a year,

a semi-detached downtown, a second-hand Austin

and a wife to match, if you know what I mean.

I know damn well what you mean. That's why I'm going to have the lot.

Oh, no.

Oh, by the way, what do you do for entertainment around here?

Well, there are the flicks, of course.

Teddy Merrick and I play snooker on Friday nights.

- Do you play? - Badly.

Oh, and then we have our amateur dramatic society, the "Thespians".

- Are you interested in the theatre? - Yes.

Look, it's only two weeks away.

And Charlie Soames here, being a power among the Thespians,

can probably still get you a ticket for opening night.

- And then he went back to bed? - Yes.

- To his own bed? - Val, what's wrong with you?

Did you really think I wouldn't know the minute I saw you two together?

There's nothing to know.

Val, I've no idea what you're talking about.

You're all upset.

I certainly am upset! I happen to be...

Who is she?

You should have seen her in "The Playground".

Sex, terrific.

Alice Aisgill. She's French.

That's her husband, lucky devil, at the end of the front row.

- Val, let's stop this. - I'll stop it when I get the truth.

Till then I refuse to go to the courtroom.

You can't do that to him.

But she's not married, she couldn't be.

He means Susan.

- Oh, Susan Brown. - Yeah.

She's the daughter of old millionaire Brown.

He owns most of Warnley.

- Have a jujube. - Thanks.

Joe, don't waste your time.

Susan's out of your reach, way up in the top drawer.

Speaks as if she had a couple of hot potatoes in her mouth,

as if her finishing school hadn't quite finished with her.

Hello, June. Hello Teddy. Didn't you think she was super?

I don't know who you're talking about, but I thought she was super.

This is Joe Lampton. Didn't you think she was absolutely super?

- Oh, absolutely super. - I thought you were all absolutely super!

Well, children? What was it like out front?

- Where's June? - There she is, talking to Bernard,

the foolish virgin.

- What did you think, Joe? - It wasn't bad.

Oh, damning us with faint praise! Come and meet some of the company.

I want you to meet Alice Aisgill, our leading lady.

- Alice, this is Joe Lampton. - How do you do?

How do you do? You're new here, aren't you?

I've been here a couple of weeks.

- He's in our department. - It's Susan Joe wants to meet.

- He's got a thing for Susan. - Hey, Bernard!

Come and meet Bernard, our producer.

Bernard, this is Joe Lampton. Hello, June.

How do you do?

What did you think of Charles's dawn effect, June?

It came up like thunder.

That's the trouble with these literal minds.

The playwright's instructions said "crack of dawn".

That's exactly what we got.

It was a damn good dawn. You both know it.

Says you!

Come on, Joe.

Hello, Charles. Was I terrible?

You were very good, as a matter of fact. I want you to meet a friend of mine.

Joe Lampton, Susan Brown. He liked the show very much.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Where's Jack? - Oh, he went to fetch his car.

Oh, Charles, you know that scene, the love scene?

I tried to remember what Bernard said. Do you think I did it any better?

You were fine.

Jenny, you don't have to take that home. We might need it again tomorrow night.

- Why don't you just leave it for Tilly? - You know, if I'd only known...

- If you'd known what? - If I'd known you'd be so beautiful,

I would have brought you some flowers.

- There you are, Jack. - Here I am.

You coming for a drink, darling? We haven't been properly introduced.

I'm Eva, Eva Kent. And you're Joe, aren't you?

We're going up to the Clarence.

Jack and I have to go home for dinner.

- Oh, what a pity. Cyril! - Yes?

Joe this is Cyril. He's my husband, believe it or not.

Cyril, this is Joe.

- Hello. - Hello again.

Teddy was telling me about you, Teddy Merrick.

I hope you're gonna like it here.

I know I am.

You don't beat about the bush, do you? I should look out if I were you, Jack.

I think you'll find you have a rival for Susan's lovely hand.