Hot Pursuit

All right, baby girl, you ready for your first day at work with Daddy?

- Daddy, go fast! - Huh. Okay!

- Happy Halloween! - Happy Halloween to you, too, Officer Cooper.

Yes!

Where'd that scumbag come from?

We're gonna have to move quick.

- 10-24: bomb threat. - 10-24: bomb threat.

- 10-71: shooting. - 10-71: shooting.

He doesn't smell like Santa.

You're so pretty.

Oh, thanks, baby, you are too.

- Thanks, Daddy. - Have fun.

Uh, I'll have her back by 10:00.

8:30? 8:00.

I'll have her back by 8:00.

[CRASHING AND PEOPLE YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

All units respond to a 10-15.

Copy that. Noise disturbance.

Freeze! Police!

Oh, my God!

Police officer coming through! Get out of the way! Move your vehicle!

Get back in your car, sir! Get back in your vehicle.

Oh.

- What do you think you're doing? - Aah! I can explain.

- I know it's not cool to leave in the middle of a... - Date. It was a first date.

And, honestly, I expected more out of a guy I met on Christian Mingle.

It's just that... Don't take this the wrong way. You're kind of intense.

Intense? Intense how?

When I said I had to leave early, you pulled your gun out on the table.

No, no. I was doing a thing like:

"Don't you walk away until I get a second date."

- It was supposed to be funny. - It really wasn't.

I was just chasing you because you forgot your wallet.

Okay. Thanks.

- I'm gonna walk back to my car now. - All right.

- Bye! - Bye.

Hey. You forgot to pay your bill.

Dang it!

I really thought this one was gonna work out.

News out of Texas: A huge break...

...in the case against notorious cartel leader Vicente Cortez.

Sources say a cartel insider...

...is prepared to testify against the violent crime lord.

I will be out in a few hours.

I will never miss my daughter's birthday.

Cortez is suspected of more than 100 murders while dominating the U.S. drug trade.

Law enforcement officials have called him "untouchable" until now.

Since when is it illegal to dance naked...

- ...on my own street? Shut up!

Hey, Coop. - Oh, no. Hold on.

- I don't have time for this. - Wait a second. Slow down.

My legs are shorter than yours.

Detective Hauser, come back. You know protocol.

All evidence has to be submitted in a proper-size Nolan envelope.

This is dangerous and could hurt someone.

You encounter a lot of danger here, Coop?

As a matter of fact, I do. The other day they brought in a duffle bag.

I opened it, there was a live raccoon in there. It could've had rabies.

Or it could've had worse.

Raccoon herpes.

That's real contagious.

How does it feel?

I imagine a burning sensation in the little guy's genital region.

Officer Cooper, report to Captain Emmett's office.

Sorry, boys. I'd like to keep talking with y'all, but the captain needs me.

Watch your head, detective.

I was gonna say, "How does it feel being a glorified secretary?"

Cooper, this is Deputy U.S. Marshal Jackson, in from Dallas.

All due respect, Captain Emmett, I know exactly who Deputy Marshal Jackson is.

- It's an honor to meet you, sir. - Thank you.

What I'm about to say cannot leave this room.

- Okay? - Yes, sir.

Do you know who Felipe Riva is?

Yes. He is the top lieutenant in the Cortez cartel.

Since 1989, he's responsible for all their "finances," a.k.a., money laundering.

He is known as The Bank of Bogotá, The Tender Tender...

...The Lender Lender, The Money Launderer, El Chapo, The Pork Chop, La Chalupa...

Okay. Okay, okay.

Riva and his wife are gonna testify against Cortez.

But Cortez has killed every potential witness we've had.

Which is why only the three of us can know this.

He has people on his payroll everywhere.

Now, tomorrow morning, Deputy Jackson is gonna escort Riva to Dallas...

...so he can testify the following morning at 8:00 a.m.

And you...

- ...are gonna go with him. - Me?

Uh-huh.

You want me to go to Dallas?

The law requires a female escort for Mrs. Riva.

Oh, yes, of course. Section 290.

The Richards Rule.

I know you've been wanting to get off the bench.

- Yes, sir. - And ever since the shotgun incident...

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Hold up.

You're the Cooper?

As in, "He just pulled a Cooper"? As in, "Don't Cooper that shit"?

I was following protocol, sir.

I found the source of the noise complaint.

Who's got the keys? - Hey, I got shotgun!

Drop your weapon!

Oh, my gosh!

Why would you do that? Why?

He just wanted to sit in the front seat!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, God.

I'm so sor...

I'm sor... Actually, I thought you were an urban myth.

You'd never heard someone calling "shotgun" to sit in the front?

That's a negative, sir. I've never heard that term used that way.

Look, all you have to do is take care of Riva's wife.

- Yes. - Okay?

Keep her calm, take her to the little girls' room if she has any lady business.

Yes. Captain, do we have any idea if Miss Riva is menopausal?

Yes, because I've been tracking her cycle and cross-referencing it to the lunar calendar.

Really? Can I get the chart? - No!

Get out of here. Go. Just go. Go.

Thank you, deputy.

Captain Emmett? - Yes, Cooper.

Not that I'm not grateful for the opportunity, sir...

...but this seems like a very important detail for my first day back in the field.

Cooper.

You're cut from the same cloth as the best cop there ever was.

Thank you, sir.

It's time to make your father proud.

Just try not to get all in your head about it, okay?

- Captain Emmett, I will not let you down. - I know you won't, Cooper.

Deputy Jackson, Captain Emmett said that this transport was at 11 a.m.

At the rate we're going, we'll get there more than an hour early.

Riva's a flight risk. Showing up early might keep him from running.

Okay, but we're going over 30 miles over the speed limit...

- ...which is illegal. And also... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.

You are chatty.

Look, the thing is, today is your lucky day.

Why is that?

You get a chance to get out of the doghouse, and you with me, sweetie. Mm?

All right, so just put your head down...

...turn off the walkie...

...and keep your Taser in your pants. Okay, chief?

- Copy that. - Okay.

Try not to fall in love with me.

Okay. Copy that.

Oh, wait, that was a joke.

- Ha-ha-ha. - Okay.

You are cute. You are cute.

Mrs. Riva.

This is Deputy U.S. Marshal Jackson. I'm here for you and your husband.

You're early.

- Who's this? - Mr. Riva, I'm Officer Cooper...

Don't worry about her. Nobody knows we're here.

She has to be here for your wife. She ready to go?

I'm not so sure about this Witness Protection anymore.

And why is that?

[DANIELLA AND FELIPE SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

Ay, perdona. My wife is a come mierda.

How you say in English?

Shit mouth?

The U.S. Government has you trafficking on tape.

So you only got two choices:

Either come to Dallas, testify against Cortez before the grand jury...

...or go to jail for the rest of your life.

- Let me ask about Witness Protection. - Okay.

If I go to Ohio, can my wife go to...

What is the furthest place from Ohio?

San Diego.

- Definitely San Diego. - San Diego.

Cooper, go get his wife.

10-80 the witness. Copy that.

Mrs. Riva?

I am announcing my entrance into your private domicile.

I'm Officer Cooper. I'm here to escort you to Dallas. Aah!

You must of not seen me.

Oh, I saw you.

- Mrs. Riva, I am a police officer. - Ay, please.

Look at you. You're teeny-tiny. You're like a little dog I can put in my purse.

I can assure you...

...I meet the minimum height requirement of an adult female my weight.

Move!

We have got to get going.

Protocol states that you only need to pack the essentials, ma'am.

You are not gonna need all these shoes.

These are clumsy and impractical.

What shoes are you wearing, huh?

I'm wearing black shoes.

Standard-issue black shoes.

No. Those are men's shoes.

My husband has the same kind.

Congratulation, Officer Lesbian, you wear the shoes of a coward that I hate.

I realize this might be difficult for someone like you.

What the hell does that mean?

Just someone who likes a lot of stuff.

Oh, so I only care about stuff.

No, Mrs. Riva, I did not mean that.

What I was trying to s...

For example, that's probably something you could leave at home.

What? This?

I was Miss Plantain, 2004.

My cousin Rosa lost two fingers trying to snatch this from my head.

I am not going anywhere without this.

You do know the point of Witness Protection is that you'll have a different identity.