BUNK'D

Hurry up! The limo is here to take you to summer camp.

And remember, don't call or write.

Come on, come on, come on.

I can't wait to see my friends at camp!

I got presents for all of them!

Oh, how thoughtful! All you kids have ever given me is an ulcer.

And I'm still waiting for a thank you card.

And for you to take my bag downstairs.

Consider it done.

Good thing I decided not to pack that puppy for Lou.

Come on, come on.

I'm really gonna miss you, Bertram.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you too.

Especially your stock tips.

So, are there any clothes in there, or is it all bribe money?

I am not going to bribe anyone to do stuff for me anymore.

I've decided to be more independent.

Oh, great. Well, you can start by taking your own bag downstairs.

Or I could do this.

Allow me, madam.

I know we are late, but Mrs. Kipling cannot decide which chew toy to bring!

Can't she just chew on the campers like last summer?

No. It turns out, parents tend to get peeved

when their children come home with no thumbs.

I get peeved when you come home at all.

Okay, bye! So long!

It won't be the same without you! (CHUCKLES)

It'll be better.

We almost forgot Mrs. Kip...

Really?

That's just cold.

It's so great to be back.

Emma!

Lou!

For two people happy to see each other,

they're running really slow.

I missed you so much!

I missed you more!

The Woodchucks are back together again.

Nice hair, Zuri.

And good job remembering the Woodchuck salute.

Thanks. You should see the salute

I give cab drivers back in New York.

No! No, no, no.

Hey!

Ow, ow, ow! That burns!

You're lucky she didn't bring her Taser.

Xander! I am so sorry!

Never sneak up on a city gal, or a cow during matin' season.

They're jumpy.

I'm so happy to see you!

You look great!

Thanks, and you look blurry.

Time to unpack!

Jorge, even Mrs. Kipling has folded her clothes.

Neat freak.

Hey, guys.

Oh, we're getting a new Grizzly.

His name is Griff, and the state has sent him here

as part of their nature rehabilitation program.

Oh, so he is a juvenile park ranger?

No, he's a juvenile delinquent.

What? Are you saying our new bunk mate is a miscreant?

No! Maybe. I don't know what that is.

You know, I did hard time once.

It was on this really uncomfy chair in the corner.

Longest five minutes of my life.

And I am not sure that I wish to bunk with a hardened criminal.

Ravi, relax! Griff is only 12 years old. How tough can he be?

What up, cell mates?

I got this.

You missed this key when you frisked me, rookie.

There you go.

Oh, and, uh, here's your wallet!

You've gotta retake that license picture. Yikes!

I'm guessing you're Griff.

Yup, and I'm ready for my pat down.

But watch it, I'm ticklish.

We do not do pat downs at summer camp.

Well, Gladys did once.

Now the pizza guy won't deliver here anymore.

We had pizza in juvie. And when it got stale, you could use it as a shiv!

Way to see the glass half full.

Tiffany? What happened?

Duh! Nine months at home with her mom.

We should have hidden her in the forest like she asked!

Oh, man, now I'm going to have to de-program her all over again.

Tiffany, homework, bad. Goofing off, good.

It's not my mom! It's worse! And it's in there!

Oh, it's probably just a cute woodland critter. I got this.

Hey, bunk mates!

We're gonna need a bigger net.

And some silver bullets.

Hazel, what are you doing in our cabin?

I thought they fumigated it.

It's my cabin now.

Since I'm head counselor,

Gladys told me I could transfer myself to Woodchuck Cabin.

So Lou, you're now the counselor of Weasel Cabin.

What? No!

Why?

I will not leave my Chucklets!

But, Hazel, you love Weasel Cabin!

You've always been a Weasel!

When you were born, the doctor said,

"Congratulations, it's a Weasel!"

Well, not anymore,

because the new crop of Weasel campers are freaks!

And that's coming from her!

So they're your problem now, Lou. See ya!

And take your cluck-a-doodle-doo alarm clock with you.

Yes!

Wow, Griff, another home-run!

Kickball's a lot easier when your ankles aren't shackled.

All right! We finally have a decent athlete in Grizzly Cabin!

I'm athletic.

You made me carry you here.

I was saving myself for the game!

Boom! I just scored another run, and three new watches!

Great job, Griff!

When I said you could steal, I meant bases, not watches.

Dude, you've got to give them back.

But hurry up, because you're kicking for Jorge. He's injured.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Hey! Come back!

Camp is fun! For once, I get to chase people!

Xander, I have severe trepidations.

Ugh! Well, go to the infirmary.

I'll have Griff kick for you.

No, I mean I fear that Griff may not be the best addition to Grizzly Cabin.

Look,

I know Griff's a little rough around the edges, but it's not his fault.

He's been in and out of foster homes,

bounced around the system...

He's had a hard life.

Who hasn't?

Are you forgetting about my traumatic time out experience?

That chair was right next to the kitty litter!

Time for bed, Up-Chucks!

Sleep tight! (KISSES)

It'll be hard not to.

Why does Hazel need so much room for her bed?

Yeah, I always thought she slept in a coffin.

Hey, Emma, your toenail polish is chipped.

What?

Ow!

I can't believe she's fallen for that, like, six times.

Tiffany, is that your mom?

What? Ow!

Hazel, can we please unstack our beds?

No! Then I wouldn't have room to do my rhythmic gymnastics.

Ow!

On the bright side, if she pokes my eye out,

I won't have to watch this anymore.

Whoa! I feel sorry for that ribbon.

Weasels, please!

This is not what I pictured when I agreed to play Hangman!

Ready, aim...

Maim!

She missed! And the flame went out!

That's not gasoline, is it?

Of course not! It's rabbit urine.

Coyotes love it. Open the doors!

We'll be at the friendship circle.

Try not to bleed on our stuff!

Lou? Are you okay?

The horror. The horror.

OMG, they're eating the bones!

At least this chicken is dead.

If I die, keep them away from the petting zoo!

Lou, what is wrong with those girls?

Everything.

And don't call me Lou. It makes them mad.

What should we call you?

They named me Reek.

Reek?

Which I love!

Help me!

Ravi, what are you doing?