Robot Chicken

_

It's alive!

Ugh, dumb dog.

We go through this every 4th of July.

Well, you'd be scared, too, if you had supersensitive hearing.

Superman, they're just fireworks.

Oh, great. Now he's pissing all over the floor!

There goes Sonic, fastest hedgehog in the world!

What can't he outrun?

Gotta go fast, can't ask for help,

leave my depression behind!

All right, sweetie, time to save Eternia again.

I wish He-Man would stop sending you away.

Leaving you is the hard price I pay

for being many faces, a master of the universe.

All right. Have a great day.

Daddy is back!

And I brought a surprise!

Say hello to Mr. Stripey!

I can't live this way!

I don't know where you go or what you do.

Sometimes I wonder if you'll even come home!

Damn it. Ugh, I'm so sorry.

- It's an emergency. - Are you fuckin' kidding me?

- You said you fixed this. - I did.

Go buy me a new machine or I'm going to my mother's.

You're a machine.

Why don't you try doing the dishes?!

I've had enough of this BS.

I'm not just a man of many faces.

I'm a man of many lies.

- Oh, God. - Another drink, pal?

Many!

What's so funny?

Tic-tac-toes!

Oh, my God!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't!

No, no! Mommy, help me!

Tic-tac-toes!

"Transformers"!

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted ruby slippers.

I'm so happy! Oh, happy, happy day!

Of course, a fuckin' house.

- Oh! Fuck! - W-where am I?

You're in Oz, Dorothy.

- Oh, my ... - Hell of a twister.

Anyone see an asian kid?

Why, you're in ... uh, one sec.

- Why, you're in Oz! - Well, how do I get out of Oz?

Ah, just follow the yellow brick road!

He's off on a grand adventure!

I don't even know where this goes.

Why, this will go with my summer wear perfectly. Thank you!

You're never home.

You talk to your trucks more than you do me.

You never even touch me anymore, Bob.

- I just can't do this. - Wendy, can we fix it?

No... We... Can't!

The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ compels you!

Father Merras, your mother is in here with me.

Would you like to leave a message?

Shut your mouth, lord of lies!

Your mother sucks cocks in hell!

Oh! Hey, that sounds like me ma.

Ma, stop sucking cocks in hell!

- Ma, stop it. - She likes it.

Oh, that she does. That's for sure. Ma!

Ma, you're embarrassing me in hell, ma!

She sucks all the cocks

- big, small, white, black... - Oh, well, that's not me ma.

A wild racist, that one was. Go on sucking, madame.

You're not me ma. Suck away.

- Suck, suck, suck. - You have awful breath.

_

Oh, paper cut!

Now give me your purse!

Oh, just don't hurt me anymore.

Ahh.

Bruce, nipples are not appropriate workplace attire.

Oh, that's rich coming from you, Mr. I Walk Around

In My Underwear So Everyone Can See My Super Dong.

My dong is my dong! You added those nipples!

- Well, bats have nipples. - So?

So I'm Batman, duh! Case closed.

Quit it!

Stop it! Ow!

- Ugh. - Superman!

Let me nurse you back to health.

- No! No, no, no, no! - Now don't ...

- get off me! - Drink my bat milk, stupid!

Ah, no! Let me die!

- Mmm. - Ah, there you go.

There you go, Kal-El.

- There you go, buddy. - Mmm.

You made the Ant-Man suit 30 years ago, Dad.

- Have you done anything else? - Yes.

Behold the future of science!

- Oh, fuck. What is this? - Ants!

Pym particles could unlock quantum teleportation

or limitless energy and you've been choreographing