Young Sheldon

It should come as no surprise

that the very first grade I ever received

was a "super-duper."

Granted it was for counting spots on a ladybug,

but still, I nailed it.

Even as the difficulty of assignments grew,

I maintained the same level of excellence.

Good job, Cooper.

That's just sad, Cooper.

In every class, in every subject,

I was perfect.

Which is why this day hit me like a ton of bricks.

Hey, moonpie.

Ready to go?

Look at this.

95? That's terrific.

No. If it was terrific, it would say 100

with the word "terrific" next to it.

Don't sweat it, you'll get 100 next time.

But I should have gotten it this time.

Dr. Sturgis made a mistake.

And we're sweatin' it.

Dr. Sturgis, I believe you've made an error grading my test.

Let me see.

No, you didn't calculate using Maxwell's equations.

Maxwell's equation my sweet patootie!

You like Willie Nelson?

That would require knowing the permeability

of free space and natural units.

I suppose...

I like Willie Nelson.

...an electric field, but that would still require...

Morning, Peg.

I need to run Sunday's bulletin

by Pastor Jeff. Is he in?

Yep.

Is he coming down with somethin'?

Yep.

Oh, my, are you sick, too?

: Never better.

Okay.

Hello.

Oh, hey, Mary, come on in.

I-I'm fine here.

Um, I have Sunday's bulletin

for your approval. And I wanted to ask about

ordering the palms for Palm Sunday.

I know it's early, but as you remember last year,

we waited too long and First United Methodist

snatched up all the perky ones.

Ooh.

Should you be here right now? You look terrible.

I feel terrible.

Well, then go home, let your wife take care of you.

You'd think she'd do that, but no.

Ooh. Well, you should at least go see a doctor.

I can't. The Walker couple is coming in for counseling.

If you rescheduled, I'm sure they'd understand.

Hey, what if you did it?

Marriage counseling?

Don't you need some sort of training for that?

Nah, you just listen, uh,

give 'em a couple prayers, send 'em on their way.

Okay, if you really want me to. I do.

In fact, for the rest of the day, you're in charge.

All right? The bulletins, the palms, it's all you.

Well, all right, um,

but only if you promise to go home and get some rest.

Sure. Home, movie theater, food court, somewhere.

Today we're gonna work on interior angles

of a convex polygon.

Georgie, where's your brother?

I don't know, do you really want him here?

Convex polygons are polygons...

Sheldon, why aren't you in second period?

I'm working on this math problem.

I think you might be the first person in history

who's ever cut class to do math.

The irony wasn't lost on me.

Oh, hey, 95. Good job.

Really? I'm here every day

and it's like you don't know me at all.

Oh, okay. Um...

aw, 95, too bad.

There we go.

Anything you can tell me about the Walkers?

Not really, just a couple of newlyweds

trying to figure it out.

Well, marriage is hard.

I'll never know.Oh...

don't think that way.

I'm sure there's someone out there for you.

Oh, no, that's not the problem.

I just don't want to waste this on just one guy.

Sorry we're late.

Someone couldn't decide on a hat.

Sorry. Oh, that's all right.

Hi, I'm Mary Cooper, I'm gonna be doing your session today.

Oh, what happened to Pastor Jeff?

He's out sick and asked me to fill in.

Oh, okay. But don't worry,

you're in good hands. I've been married for 15 years

and whatever you're going through,

I'm sure I've been through it several times.

Francine?

I dig your hat.

So when we first started dating,

he would plan these elaborate picnics by the lake...

You know, like a real picnic with the red and white blanket.

Oh, gingham, sweetie, it's called gingham. Yeah.

And after you got married, all the picnics and wooing ended?

No, no, not at all. No.

In fact, Elliot's more dotin' than ever.

He knows that tulips are my favorite,

so every week there's a fresh-cut bouquet

on my nightstand.

I own the flower shop across from the post office.

Well, y'all seem hunky-dory.

I'm confused, what's the issue?

Well, um, we're having trouble in the, you know...

: The bedroom.

Oh.

Sheldon, what are you doing here?

They wouldn't let me use the phone in the principal's office.

Who are you calling?

Dr. Sturgis... It's a math emergency.

Don't you think

you should've asked my permission first?

It's ringing. Yes or no?

You know what? I don't care.

Hello?

Dr. Sturgis, this is Sheldon. You're wrong and I can prove it.

Is that so?

It is so.

All right, little man, bring it on.

Go ahead, Sheldon, I'm all ears.

Well, when I'm done, you're going to be all tears.

Okay, fellas, let's keep it civil.

You claim that the only way to calculate the magnetic field

in QCD units is using Maxwell's equations,

but you're completely discrediting energy density.

But you're still off.

By a factor of 3.54.

Which would seem insignificant,

but when examined closely,

you realize that it's the square root of four times pi.

Your point being?

Rationalized and non-rationalized units

differ by four times pi...

Anyone with a basic knowledge of electric

and magnetic fields would know that.

I'm lost. Are we still being civil?

It's all right, Connie.

Sheldon's trying to justify his shortcut.

Not a shortcut,

a more elegant and efficient method

to achieve the correct answer.

Well, I applaud the effort, young man.

Don't treat me like a child, treat me like a colleague.

Fine. This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen.

How could you say that?!

What are you doing?

Treating him like a colleague.

Do you and your colleagues make each other

run out of the room crying like that?

Sometimes.

But we run slower, 'cause we're old.

And then he said, "For the rest of the day,

- you're in charge." - Mm.

Those were his exact words. Can you believe it?

"You're in charge."

- Well, that's great. - And thanks to me,

this year United Methodist is gonna get stuck

with all the limp palms.

Well, I don't know what that means, but good for you.

I even did some marriage counseling

for a couple of young newlyweds.

Ooh, what kind of trouble they having?

Oh, it's all confidential; I really can't say.

Well, I don't need specifics,

just, you know, general terms.

They're having sexual problems.

Really?

Newlyweds?

But we all prayed on it

and then the answer came clear as a bell.

Yeah?

The husband is under a lot of stress at work

and it's diminishing his natural desires.

Huh. What kind of work does he do

he's got so much stress?

He owns that flower shop across from the post office.

Flower shop. Huh.

You've seen it. It's called The Pretty Petunia.

Huh.

So, Sheldon,

you and Dr. Sturgis figure out

your math emergency?

I'd rather not talk about it.

Me neither.