Domestic

-Where is she? -Near the coffin.

What do you want to do?

To see her.

Later.

-Why? -Stop arguing!

What's wrong with me seeing Lidia? I just want to say hi.

-Forget it. -Why?

I'll introduce you. When you see her, you'll be shocked.

Why?

She looks different, she's changed.

You know how she used to look,

so now you'll be shocked.

It's horrible!

All year I've felt like I'm living with a stranger.

I can't get used to it.

It's like she's already dead, Bono.

Admit that you won't say it. Why beat around the bush?

Bono, you loved her.

If you see her now,

you'll be shocked, she's not the same.

-Big deal. -It is a big deal!

Go see a shrink.

Fuck off!

There she is, with the colourful scarf.

Which one?

Near the lady wearing the dead fox!

Wanna bet I'll talk to her?

And humiliate me? What will you say?

I'll go to the coffin, cross myself,

and take a look at her.

OK, just be careful.

As a bonus, I'll tell the fat lady not to lean on the coffin!

PART ONE DOMESTIC DEATH

Little fingers Play with little fingers

Play with the rattle Give the baby a bottle

Do like the Gypsies and the Mexicans

Raise a finger Do like the Chinese…

-Hi, Toni! -Hi, Toni!

Hello, girls.

-Mara, how's the cat? -Fine.

-Good evening. -Good evening, Toni.

-Good evening. -Good evening.

-Hi, Toni! -Hi.

All I can do is talk to Barbu…

Mr. Lazăr, that's not enough.

-We're animal lovers, but… -It makes a mess, just say so!

We'll deal with it ourselves.

No, don't say that!

-Miss Goia, remember the gas bill. -I'm going to withdraw some money.

-She should pay extra for the little one. -I hadn't finished.

Mr. Mihăeș, let me speak, I live here too.

It's become a problem. It's not just the hair on the carpet.

It barks all night, and tries to come into my place.

I see.

I'm sorry, but we have to do something!

If I may? The dog bothers me too.

-It peed on my doormat. -For example!

It's slept on my doormat twice.

I understand.

So, take responsibility and talk to Barbu.

Yes, Madam, I have understood the situation.

-I don't think you have understood. -What do you mean?

I understand things faster than you imagine.

I'll tell them…

Don't just talk, take the initiative!

Yes, I shall act with a firm hand.

Come now, Mr. Lazăr!

We should write a complaint, and stick it here.

Good idea!

"Since you live…

in our…"

"Home."

-Yes, our home. -Yes, yes.

We should write "in the European Union," or they won't get it.

Toni, they're not that stupid.

No, that's good.

Nelu, I know what I'm talking about.

Listen, I know what I'm talking about.

The European Union.

With a capital E.

And we all agree.

We're all for animal rights, but…

But we can't live like animals because we're humans!

-We can't say it like that! -Why not?

We'll write this:

"Animal rights must be respected, but human rights too."

What did I say? Just get it written!

We've been here two hours.

-Don't get angry. -Who's getting angry?

-Yeah, just keep it up! -Who's getting angry?

Leave it to him.

Mara sweetie.

-Do you want star biscuits? -Stars and hearts.

Anyway, carry on. Who catches him?

Someone grabs him and says… Look, Dad.

"I'm not your mom, I'm not your dad. Guess who!"

-Should I guess? -Yes.

Is this a joke, Mara?

Yes, it's a joke. Guess who catches the hedgehog.

It can't be a joke. Jokes don't have questions.

-Maybe a riddle. -Hello!

Hi, Mom.

Look at the present I've brought you.

-A chicken? -Yes, from Rodica.

She wouldn't let me leave without it.

-What are we going to do with it? -Cook it.

It stinks!

Put it on the balcony.

-So, guess who. -Wait a second.

Nicole, no, not on the balcony, the neighbours will see.

Put it in the tub.

OK, but you kill it.

-I'm not killing it! -Dad, guess who.

I've never killed a chicken in my life.

-It's easy. -You do it, then.

I can't kill it.

Ask Mihăeș to do it.

I'm not going to ask Mihăeș.

I wouldn't do it for a million euros.

-I'll do it. -Yeah, right!

I'll do it for ten lei, not a million euros.

-Swear. -I swear.

-OK, ten lei. -Hand it over.

I will. Go and kill it.

No. Give it now, not like with the candies.

-Chocolates. -You're right, it was chocolates.

All right. Nicole, give her ten lei.

-I haven't got a penny. -Look in my pocket.

Will this knife do?

-She won't do it. -Perfect.

-It's just a chicken. -As you wish.

-Go on, then. -I don't believe it.

That's how children in America earn money.

How can they earn money like that?

Go on, then.

How could you bring a live chicken?

And you're letting her use the knife?

Don't make such a fuss.

Just go and ask Mihăeș.

I'm not going. You kill it.

I can't kill it, I'd feel sorry for it.

-I can't do it. -Why not?

-I feel sorry. -For what?

For the chicken.

Good, honey! You're like your father.

-Why don't you kill it, Mom? -I hate blood!

So don't get involved.

It doesn't matter, you can't kill it, that's all.

She's like her dad.

That's nice, she's sensitive and kind.

Yes.

She's got a big heart. Bravo!

But I'd do it for 50.

Seriously, I would!

Why are you laughing?

Give her the money, "big heart"!

Do you realize what you're saying? 50 lei!

For 50 they'd deliver it to the door, ready-cooked.

-Give it to her, you said she's kind. -You give it to her!

I've got no money.

-OK, when I get paid. -Yes, we've got no money.

I won't do it unless I'm paid.

-You're very determined. -Yes, I am.

Bravo! I only have 30 lei in my wallet.

-All right, Dad! -All right?

-You'll kill it? -I will!

-I'll get it, then. -I don't believe her.

But I'll get it.

-Why don't you trust me to pay? -I do.

I'm always buying you things.

-Stop it, Mom. -Anything you want.

The deal is, money first!

-There's the money. -Don't get mad.

Stop bickering, the two of you.

Be careful, sweetheart.

She won't do it, Nicole.

What are you two looking at?

Good Lord, how assertive she is!

You just encourage her!

You brought a live chicken!

Yes, to cook it.

-But who kills it? -You!

How? I've never killed a chicken.

-I don't believe you can't. -Well, I can't.

You know Rodica, she insisted.

-I can't do it. -Why, sweetie?

It won't keep still.

-It's just a little chicken. -I don't know how.

You see, sweetie, it's not easy to earn money.

It looks easy.

-Herbal tea? -Yes.

You can't do it because you've got a big heart.

-Bravo! -Good Lord!

-Go and ask Mihăeș. -No.

Look, let's try again. You take it by the neck…

Oh, no!

And wham!

-If you help me… -How?

You hold it by the neck and I'll cut its throat.

OK, but I want my money back.