Rosehaven

Wednesday? No.

Friday? No.

How can you keep forgetting what night's bin night?

Why not just leave them out all the time? Then it doesn't matter.

Well, because then we'll have to walk outside every time we've got rubbish.

Yeah.

OK, I'll take them out, you bring them in.

Fine. And you get rid of spiders.

No. I'm scared of spiders.

You think I LIKE spiders?

It's just... Grace used to be the one who would deal with spiders.

So, because you broke up, if there's a spider, I have to catch it?

Well, you'll squish it. I'm not gonna squish it.

I'll take it outside. Well, then it could come back in.

What if I squish it and then its family come in looking for revenge?

Well, you'll be there to squish them too.

But if you're gonna squish a spider,

make sure it's on a flat surface, not the carpet - it'll make a mess.

I'm not...

You can pick it up off the carpet and put on a flat surface,

then squish it.

Got it. Pick it up, put it in your room.

I know you're joking, but I'm gonna need confirmation you won't do that.

I won't do it. Again. That's not funny.

'Squish' sounds way too cute

for what would actually be a horrific way to die.

Fine, you can take them outside, but put them WAY outside

and spin them around a few times so they can't find their way back.

Spiders are a huge deal. If I do those, what do I get?

Well, I'll do all the other bugs.

Ants. Cockroaches. Scorpions. I think that's fair.

I've never seen a scorpion. That's because I'm vigilant.

I'll also change light bulbs.

OK.

Can you start in my room? I've been going to bed with a torch for weeks.

Yes. And I'm sorry to nag, but I know you've been eating my crumpets.

You can't just replace them with slices of bread cut into circles.

It's not the same. Oh, my God! A scorpion!

Bullshit. Serious! There!

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Look!

Oh, Jesus! I thought they only lived in the desert!

Time for you to go to work.

I can't. It's just like a spider, only with a spiky tail.

It's actually worse. Well, that was the deal.

Ooh, he looks mad.

OK, you do the bugs that start with S, I'll do all the other letters.

No!

Where are you going?! I can't! I'm sorry!

I'm not doing it! We made a deal!

Get back in there! No!

I'll call Mum.

It said it was printing on my computer, and nothing's happening!

Maybe it's out of paper.

It's not!

Give it a good kick.

Still nothing!

Do YOU feel better, though?

Bloody thing!

It still doesn't feel real. My own desk.

I miss the old office.

Not a meeting table, not just a place to put my laptop, but an actual desk.

I mean, was that seriously the only land

where the council could put a swimming pool?

It better have a slide.

I'm glad. We've got more space. For God's sake!

That lives there now.

Hey, speaking of rentals... We weren't.

..I found a place that'd be perfect for us.

Em, I told you, I'm fine. We don't need to move.

Well, where the hell's bloody "tray B"?

Yeah...

..you say that, but the thing is,

we live in a house that you lived in with your now ex-girlfriend,

and at some point, the break-up is gonna sink in

and you don't want to be living there when it does.

Too many memories. It's been ages. I'm fine.

It hasn't been ages. And Grace has been away for a lot of it.

She'll be back from Japan soon.

Probably with a tan. From skiing?

I've read that women tend to feel the worst about break-ups early on

and men feel the worst months after.

Where'd you read that? I'm not on trial here.

My point is, there's a process to these things.

What, like the five stages of grief?

What? No. There's two stages.

There's feeling real bad and then less bad.

Right. Yeah.

And you haven't been upset about it yet.

Yeah, because it was a mutual, amicable, friendly...

I wouldn't even called it a break-up. It was a decoupling.

As your best friend, it is my job to be ready when it hits you.

Otherwise you'll end up getting some lip piercing, or a tattoo,

or you'll start wearing a bandanna.

I'm not your teenage son.

You're already fixing your teeth.

To fix my bite. It's a medical thing.

Yeah. Like a penis enlargement.

Finally!

I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine.

Now, get out of my chair.

There were three!

Prove it!

All this old mail.

It's so weird thinking about all the other businesses

that were in here before us.

Just think - I could be holding life-changing news

from... Glen's Window Cleaning.

Can you please stop snooping

and just write "return to sender" on everything that's not ours?

There's a package!

Cool. Even more places to write "return to sender".

I'm gonna open it.

No.

Em? It's in my DNA.

I'm female. I'm Australian. I'm a box-opener. It's who I am.

Don't. Envelopes, I can resist.

OK? Mail is never anything exciting.

Usually bills or a letter from your parents or something boring.

But a package is always something. Something you want... to open.

"Return to sender".

It doesn't have a return-to-sender address on it, so I'm opening it.

No, no, no, no, no.

Who's it addressed to?

"S. Wells". And what's your name again?

My middle name is Swells.

I know for a fact your middle name is Fart.

Yours is! Don't open it.

But it could be anything!

It's probably something boring like coasters or a lint roller.

Who would order lint rollers in the mail?

I don't know. Someone who doesn't know where to buy a lint roller from.

You're right. What shop DOES sell lint rollers? Chemist?

I have no idea.

Hello. McCallum Real Estate. Emma speaking.

Oh, hi.

Um... sorry, can I just put you on hold for a second?

Thanks.

What's up? Nothing.

You should go to the movies.

Why? Who's on the phone? No-one.

Well, that's clearly not true.

Alright, it's... you from the future

and saying, "Daniel, leave Emma and her phone call alone."

Are you in trouble or something? Why are you being so weird?

Fine. It's Grace.

Ooh. Put her on speaker.

But you'll hear her voice. Yes. That's how a phone works.

You can't. It's fine.

And this is too long to keep someone on hold for.

No, no, no, no. You can't. It's fine.

I'm telling you, you can't... Don't. It's fine. Just relax.

Hello, Grace. How are you?

Oh, Dan. I'm really well, thanks.

Get off! How are you? Everything OK?

Yeah, all good here. How's Japan going?

I love it. The conference was brilliant. Mmm.

There are some really exciting trials

using induced pluripotent stem cells.

Right. And the toilets are amazing.

Oh, yeah, I heard they've got those electronic squirt cannons, right?

I don't know why we're still using toilet paper here.

I know! (LAUGHS)

So, how is, uh... Anyway, I'm calling...

Sorry. Sorry. No, no. You go.

Well, I was calling because I hoped you could help me find a rental.

Absolutely. Happy to help.

Or I can help you. No, no, that's OK.

I've already offered my help, thank you, Em.

OK. Um, that'd be great.

Sarah's moving out, so I won't have a place to come back to.

Don't worry, Grace. I'll find you something.

Or I can. I'll find you something, don't worry.

Great. So...

Uh, why don't I give you a video call later

and I'll take you through some places?

Yes. Perfect. That'd be great. Thanks so much.

No worries. Talk to you soon.

OK. Bye. Bye.

Video call? You'll see her face! I've seen it before.

You should have gone to the movies when I told you to.

You gave me three seconds' notice and there's nothing I want to see anyway.

Let me take care of Grace, OK? Not you.

I can handle it.

Terrible idea. It's way too soon.

I know it's my first break-up, but maybe I'm just really good at them.

Poor boy. You're delirious with pain.

I'll stay with you.

Em, this is getting a little annoying now. Can you please let it go?

Alright.

Maybe the direct contact with her will... break you. In a good way.

Pop the blister so you can heal.

You're not supposed to pop blisters.

Yeah, right, and you're not supposed to put cotton buds in your earholes.

That's also a big no.

You can call me when you need.

If you show her the two-bedroom on Hastings,

there's a walk-in wardrobe that's perfect for cry calls.

I can't stop the neighbour's bird staring at you, Darryl.

Oh, well, just pull the curtains if it's bothering you that much.

I have to go.