AJ Goes to the Dog Park

-(phones ringing in distance) -(alert note rings over P.A.)

BOSS (over P.A. system): AJ, come to my office, please.

Ope!

AJ, you've always been

one of our best performers.

We'd love to promote you

to technical consultant.

Yes.

I-I mean, I'm flattered, but yes.

Uh, sorry, I mean no.

I always get those mixed up.

But why, why, why do you insist on staying entry-level?

Don't you want to get more out of life?

A desk, like this desk, made of real oak wood?

Nah. Right now everything is just perfect for me.

I wake up at 8:30 and make myself

buttered toast with cinnamon and sugar.

It's great.

Then I bike to work, which is also great

'cause and I get to wave hello to the coffee kiosk lady.

Work is good-- I like that it's easy

and my heart rate stays pretty low all day.

Then I eat supper with either my married friends or my dad.

After that, I go home and watch YouTuubé videos

with my dogs until all three of us fall asleep.

Sounds pretty good.

Oh, my favorite part

is when I go to the dog park with Diddy and Biff.

I mean, it's kind of just an open field

so it gets really windy there,

but it is so nice.

So, you're not ready

to take over the family business.

Well, what can I say, I'm content.

Weeks, months, years--

I'm happy to just let them spread by

like whipped butter.

I understand, son.

Thanks, Poppy-Pop.

See you at supper.

(dial-up Internet screeching and warbling)

What the W...?

What is-- What is going on?

Whoa-whoa-whoa! No dogs allowed in the blog park.

But-- But what?

Dit-dit-dit! Just take it up with the mayor, Bubbo.

I'm just so confused!

Nobody even blogs anymore.

2004 called, they want their blogging back.

You know what, AJ,

I think you should walk

right up to the mayor's office,

kick down the door,

and tell her exactly what you just said.

They don't even open till 8 tomorrow.

Well, then I think you

should do all of that at exactly 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.

I...

think I will.

Mayor!

Me mayor.

My father, who bless the stars

is still with us,

told me to walk up to your office,

kick down your door, and tell you

exactly what I just said.

"I'm so confused!

2004 called, they want their blogging back."

Ah, you've seen my pet project, the Blog Park.

Ever since 2004, I've been

fighting, fishing, scrapping,

scraping, and sapping to make it happen.

Until finally, the funding came through.

Wait, but--

And to your criticism, "nobody blogs anymore,"

heh, well, it's a little short-sighted.

Technology is cyclical, like fashion.

That's why I always wear one bell bottom and one JNCO.

What about skinny jeans?

Acid wash?

Need I say much more?

Much more? What a chore!

I abhor what you've done to the outdoor I care for.

Before I leave through that door,

I must implore: this means war,

you cultural carnivore!

Don't be such bore, you walking saddlesore.

Maybe when you have the floor, when you are may-or,

the choice of what to do with that land will be yours.

And don't forget things, comma, your.

Stewp's on!

Oh boy, a dish of your patented stew soup!

More stuff floating in it than a soup, less than a stew.

Just the way you like it, buddy.

Just what I need after what's been,

honestly, a stinky couple of days.

But you know what?

What?

I may be sad about the dog park,

but as long the rest of my perfect life

stays in place, I think everything will be A-OK.

Well, we've got some bad news.

-(leg thumps table) -Uh, I mean good news!

-(leg thumps table) -Uh, bad news!

Excuse us for a minute.

Are you sure we should tell him?

What choice do we have? It's happening tomorrow.

You're right. The happening

can't un-happen, whether we tell AJ

it's happening or not.

Shall we?

Let's shall.

Listen, sport.

There's something we got to tell you.

We're moving to San Antonio.

Texas.

I know it's a lot of spit to take,

but Danny got hired

at a fancier architecture firm

and I got hired at a schmancier design firm.

Those are our jobs.

Yeah, it's gonna be hard to leave our home,

but... AJ, are you okay?

Yeah, it's okay.

Go away. I understand.

There's no need to cry CG tears.

We can still have our suppers over computer.

But what about the stewp?

We'll ship it to you.

Media mail.

You're worth it.

Thank you. Thank you.

Ah, thank you guys so much.

You're my best friends. It's great.

Whew. What a day!

But it's like the Bible says:

It's important to stay calm and keep things in perspective.

Isaiah 11:16.

Now let's watch some YouTuubé videos

and fall asleep.

-(cat whimpers) -(alert sound clangs)

Hey AJ, you hear about the buttered toast recall?

What am I supposed to eat for breakfast now?

Don't worry, we've got materials for this situation.

I'm real sorry to hear about your heart rate, son.

But we're strapped around here

and need to raise the workload 4%.

I just don't know what to do.

Ever since my dog park got gone, everything's fallen apart.

Up is down, down is up,

and I'm sad.

I know how you feel.

You do?

But...you're not me.

Yes, but I once found myself in a similar situation.

I was about your age...

After years of happily coaching

high school football,

I suddenly felt...empty.

Adrift.

Not correct.

My heart... wasn't in it anymore.

But who was I to be now, then?

I wandered the town in a daze.

I ended up on the top of a hill.

The beautiful plains of Fargo

lay before me at magic hour.

I realized

what I wanted to do.

And I've been doing this ever since.

Happy.

So you're saying I need to become mayor myself

and get my dog park back at all costs?

I'm saying you need to find your own way.

So please, go.

Take as much time as you need.

Your job will be here when you're ready.

Wow, because I'm your son?

No, because you're the main character.