Frasier

You again.

["Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" playing]

It seems my attempts to kill you have only made you stronger.

Oh, hey.

-Is that Grandpa's? -It is.

Ronee sent over a box of Dad's old Christmas decorations.

I know.

Where's a package thief when you need one?

Aw, come on, he's fun.

Plus, this little guy taught me it's okay for men to dance.

You doing all right?

Yeah, I'm just sitting here thinking.

I used to hate Dad's Christmas decorations and now

even this old Rudolph wreath is making me sentimental.

Aw. Want me to hang it up?

I said I was wistful, not insane.

I loved those Christmases in Seattle.

Yeah, me, too.

Now we're all scattered about.

I miss those times.

Yeah, maybe I should have gotten a tree this year.

It just didn't seem right.

Huh.

-What? -Hmm.

Just, uh, had an idea

-for a cool gift for you. -Mm.

Something that could bring you back to those days.

If it's a La-Z-Boy or a Jack Russell, don't bother.

Still, I'm worried

it's gonna feel kind of empty around here this year.

Well, why don't we...

invite a few people over for Christmas Eve.

I mean, it's kind of last minute, but,

fortunately, most of my friends are losers.

So are mine.

Yeah, plus, it doesn't have to be some big,

formal, elegant thing.

Some big, formal, elegant thing.

-No, no, no. -Yes, yes, yes.

We could have a giant banquet and some music, carols...

...a dress code!

Dad, do you think you're maybe getting a little nuts

about this party idea as a way of avoiding

your feelings of grief about Grandpa?

I think my best response to that

is a three-word phrase that's often used

in psychiatric circles. The first word is "No,"

the third word is...

"Sherlock."

It's two days away.

Y-You don't have time to plan a big, fancy thing.

It'll be a disaster.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, you're probably right.

We'll keep it simple.

Hear ye, hear ye!

You are officially invited

to the Crane Christmas Soiree

at the Frasier Crane residence

this 24th of December at 5:00 p.m.

Dad, didn't we say no to this, like, 40 minutes ago?

And where'd you get a scroll?

Hear ye, hear ye!

-Hey. -Hey.

Um,

so I don't think I'm gonna make it

to your dad's party tonight.

Oh, no. You sure? There's gonna be mulled wine.

It's like sangria you left in your car on a hot day.

Uh, it's just... it's our first Christmas

since Adam and all, and, uh,

I don't want to bring everyone down.

We're talking about people who are available

on a day's notice for a Christmas Eve party.

Bring 'em down to where?

I-I get it. I miss him, too.

-You gonna be okay? -Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Just going to put John to bed,

and I have a Hallmark movie lined up.

It's really on the nose, even by Hallmark standards.

It's called A Christmas for the Holidays.

Want me to check in on you?

No, no, no. I don't

want you to have to miss your dad's party.

Eve, please.

I think I can handle helping two people in one night.

After all, I, uh...

do make my living as a hero.

Mm, you were so close to being sweet,

and then, bam, you douched it up.

Yeah, well...

Thank you.

Hero.

Oh, sorry, Dad. I was hoping your gift would be

here in time for the party, but doesn't look like it will.

Oh, please. We have fine wine, champagne,

homemade eggnog, the Brandenburg String Quartet,

a Christmas goose from Elysian Farms and...

my son.

Everything's perfect. Assuming you are going to

change out of those rags.

Feliz Navidad, fam.

And a half a belated happy Hanukkah to you, Freddy.

Thank you very much, David.

My dad told me your flight got delayed till tomorrow.

That's all right. Now I get to see your dad's reaction.

My reaction to what?

You intended to order 24 chairs

and one Christmas tree, right?

Yes...

Oh, holy night.

Okay, well, the Christmas side of me loves it.

The firefighter side of me is thinking,

"Oh, this building's gonna make the local news tonight."

I was in such a hurry when I ordered,

I must have transposed the numbers.

-It's okay, Dad. -It's not okay.

It's a Sylvan Nightmare. There's nowhere to mingle.

There's nowhere to jingle.

What about my sit-down dinner?

Well, maybe we make it a buffet.

Perfect. Christmas at the Sizzler.

And where are the flowers I ordered?

I'm the florist. The flowers are back here.

Dad, you don't have to worry. I'll take care of all this.

Just focus on the big picture.

I'm trying, but I can't see the florist for the trees.

Oh, Frederick.

Well, this does look much better.

But I fear there may be more troubles that lie ahead.

One might say we're not out of the woods yet.

Or you might not. I'll check on the hors d'oeuvres.

You see, just as Scrooge was visited by three ghosts,

I fear that because of my hurried planning,

we may be visited by a trio of mishaps.

Uh, wait.

So you think you made two other mistakes

-besides this tree thing? -No, no, no, no.

The trees are just Marley warning us of what's to come.

Stay by my side tonight.

Yeah, don't worry, Dad. I'll-I'll be here.

I'll keep you from Frasiering all over everything.

I have asked you not to use my name as a verb.

I...

-Welcome. Oh!

-May I take your coats? -Yes, please.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Thank you for coming. Please, come in.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Business doesn't stop for the holidays.

Really? Business stopped for me

the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

So, um,

how does this work, Frasier?

Do I just tag the one I want and you tie it to my car?

Okay. Sent.

I cannot stay long. I'm sorry.

Thank you. Evaluations are due tonight.

But evaluations were due yesterday.

Oh, yeah, but then I evaluate the evaluations,

and then the dean evaluates my evaluation of the evaluations.

It's, it's a lot, but that's the thrill of bureaucracy.

- -Oh.

-Hey. -

-Hey, buddy, merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas...

You a big party guy, sir?

Oh, not so much, no. I find chitchat between people

a bit tedious, you know? Like, um...

now, for instance.

I totally understand.

Perhaps there's something we could do to spice up

our social interactions.

I'm barely listening, but go on.

For example, what if we try to slip

the names of all nine reindeer into casual conversation

without anyone noticing?

That's the most idiotic and pointless idea.

I'm slowly warming to it. It's brilliant and I'm in.

Ah, Professor Roupel.

And who is this "Vixen"?

Hey, I know you said you were fine,

and by the looks of it, you totally are,

but I thought you might still like some cookies.

So...

You doing okay on your own?

: Yeah.

Okay, well, I'm convinced.

But, just out of my own peace of mind,

I'm going to find you some company.

-Huh? Be right back. -Oh, no, you don't have to.

Can you bring more cookies?

Yeah.

-Dips? -What?

-Maybe a protein? -Okay.

Hello, men.

-Talking about the Patriots? -No.

My brother's in the Peace Corps and there's

-political unrest-- -Can you believe their defense?

They're always "Blitzen," am I right?