Kill Giggles

Who are you?

- Well, I'm the Devil, baby!

Where are we?

- We're in the Devil's underground, baby!

- Now, I know this might look a little odd,

but I promise you, I'm not crazy.

I actually used to like these things, you know?

Clowns.

I even dressed up like one for Halloween once.

See? That's me.

So now how did I go from this to this?

Well, that's a funny story, actually.

Now, before you even ask,

no, I wasn't touched by an uncle in a clown costume.

I wasn't abandoned by my parents at a circus.

And despite how this looks,

I really don't wanna fuck one of them either.

I just really, really, really hate clowns.

Not so funny now, are you? Clown.

You know that old saying, "All the world loves a clown?"

Well, I gotta call bullshit, like on an epic level.

I think as long as there have been clowns in this world,

there have been people who hate them.

People who despise them.

People who want to see them suffer.

Because here's the thing about clowns,

they're not funny, they're not whimsical,

they're not cute.

They're frightening, they're horrible.

They're fucking evil.

A mockery of man at our worst,

a monster in makeup at best.

And it's okay to kill monsters.

In fact, as crazy as it sounds,

that's what all the best stories are about.

That's a word that gets thrown around a lot.

"Crazy."

I wasn't born a psychopath,

but I wasn't made a sociopath either.

No, I'm something different.

And I'm walking my own path.

No, don't get me wrong...

I don't want to just kill a clown or two for kicks.

I want to kill all of them, and so I am.

I'm going to kill

every single last one of them.

- Holt, is there a single print we could use yet?

- No, ma'am. Everything we have is here.

It all belongs to the dead guy or the apartment owner.

- And the friend's alibi checks out?

- Yeah, apparently he's outta rehab in Vegas right now.

I think he's an entertainer or something.

All right, thanks.

What a waste.

What's a waste?

This case, of time.

Some bum brings a broad to his buddy's place,

she polishes his knob, cleans his clock,

then she cleans him out.

Case closed.

- So you think you got it all figured out, do you?

And you have a better idea?

Do you?

- Yeah, let's just go with your theory.

I don't even want to know what happened in this room.

- Tommy, this is good.

This is really good.

Yeah?

You think so?

I do. I definitely think your

writing is getting much stronger.

And I love how the hero killer now has a nose,

like a trophy.

But I am a bit curious, I mean...

Why the outside setting?

Does he wanna get caught?

Maybe he thinks he never will.

- I think you know the odds are greater than that.

Everyone gets caught.

Honestly, Doc...

I think I've just been feeling more inspired lately.

Maybe it has something to do with being back home,

back where it all started.

It makes my muse go a little mad.

- And are you feeling a little bit more mad lately, Tommy?

- Well, I haven't murdered anybody,

if that's what you're asking,

- Tommy, that's not what I'm saying at all.

I mean, you have made so much progress

in the last couple of years,

but we still have a lot of work to do.

- I really feel like this part of the therapy

is helping, Doc.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this story,

plotting out all the little details.

- Look, you started off writing as part of your therapy,

but now your stories are so good.

You should do something with them someday.

I mean it, Tommy.

You started writing your fears, you know, not facing them.

Have you had any episodes lately or?

- I mean, aside from seeing them at fast food franchises,

crazy car salesman, and all over the news.

Not to mention that clowns seem to be

the new zombies in horror movies.

Other than that...

No, I'm good, Doc.

Well, I mean it, Tommy.

Your writing is terrific,

and I really hope you do something with it

rather than filing it away and forgetting about it.

- I'll think about it, Doc. I promise.

Oh, and Tommy...

After reading your latest story,

I advise that you stay away from that...

Hey, kids!

Oh, hey there, young fella.

Long night, eh?

I said long night, eh?

I know I sure as shit could use a drink or two.

Oh, what's going on here?

Don't be messing around here, kid.

Help!

Help!

Oh, God.

Help us, mister.

Please don't hurt me. I'm just a clown.

Everybody loves a clown.

Oh...

All right, hot shot. What do you got?

Where's the murder weapon?

Still looking, sir.

Apparently nobody saw or heard anything.

And since there's no cameras back here...

Well, you guys are detectives.

Detect already!

I want every single inch of these hallways searched,

and if the weapon's here, I want it found.

Now!

- What? No, Mom, of course I'm listening.

Yeah, I'm really excited to hear about your trip.

I can't wait.

Mom, I'm not dating Jason anymore.

It just didn't work out, that's why.

He spent all of his time on social networks

and not in the real world.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I liked him too.

Hello, Eden.

Do...you have a minute?

I mean, I'll come back.

Bastian, I'm on my way out.

Can we do this Monday, please?

Yeah, right.

Sorry. Sorry.

No, Mom.

No, it was Bastian. He works here.

No, not my type.

- Come on, kitten. Let's go already!

The party starts meow!

Shelly, it's my mom. Okay?

Can I meet you there later?

- Better hurry up! I don't wanna be left alone

with the cougars

and the vultures all by myself.

You'll be fine. Just go.

Fine. Tell your mom I said hi.

Sorry, Mom. It was Shelly.

- Yeah, we're going to a bachelorette party,

and she's waiting on me.

All right, look.

Look, Mom, I gotta go. Okay?

Yeah, I'll be careful tonight.

I love you too.

All right, call me when you get back.

Bye.

Busy night?

Calm before the storm, my man.

Bachelorette party's coming in later.

That's gonna be nuts.

I don't know, man.

Room full of chicks all looking to have a good time?

Sounds like the perfect place to be for me.

Your funeral.

What you drinkin'?

Whiskey. Irish, please.

Where's that damn mall rat at?

I'm not even supposed to be here today.

What are you gawking at? It's just makeup.

Mind your own business!

You want to take a picture, Rooster Boy?

It'll last longer.

Everybody loves a clown.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Me too.

Thank you.

I gotta go, you know?

Oh, yeah!

- Look, I was outta line earlier.

Nah, man.