Poison Ivy

Sync to Bluray Ahmad_NiceBoy

She was definitely a turnoff, too overt.

Look at her--

Obviously, big problems.

Most girls don't fly through the air...

with their skirt around their waist.

Supergirl at least had the decency to wear tights--

not that l read comics.

l'm more the politically, environmentally correct...

feminist, poetry-reading type.

You know...

boring.

l wonder if she posed for that painting.

Great perm.

Blond hair--

obvious bleach job.

Too bad it's six months old.

l don't know how she does it.

l get airsick on a seesaw.

l guess she's sort of beautiful.

l don't know. Those lips.

Lips are supposed to be a perfect reflection...

of another part of a woman's anatomy.

Not that l'm a lesbian.

Well, maybe l am.

No, definitely not.

l told my mother l was, just for shock value.

She said, "Fine, just as long as you don't smoke."

Which, of course, is my main joy in life.

Probably oral compensation.

l don't think l was breast-fed.

l can't imagine where she came from.

None of the other kids at my school are that scangie.

l really wish we could be friends.

A dog got hit! Come on!

Someone should just kill it.

lt's still breathing.

Oh, God.

You kids pipe down!

Principal's office. Please hold.

Take a seat, ma'am.

lt's a stick-on.

See?

l like the ivy.

The cross makes me think of death, but the ivy is life.

Sort of the tragic and the hopeful, you know?

What did you do to your hair?

lt's Egyptian.

Cool.

What are you busted for?

l got to keep a certain grade-point average.

l'm slipping in biology.

You're one of those scholarship kids.

You make it sound like Jerry's Kids.

lt's not a disease.

Sorry.

Did it hurt?

No. They used a gun. lt was really Quick.

But you've got this wire running through your nose.

lt feels like a booger.

Who's the old dude who picks you up in the pimpmobile?

lt's my dad.

He's having a midlife crisis.

My name's Sylvie Cooper.

What did they nail you for?

l phoned in a bomb threat to KTVM.

You know that lame guy who does the editorials?

He said that teenagers are too hormonally imbalanced...

to have driver's licenses.

He said the age should be raised to twenty-one.

How did they know it was you?

Wait a sec.

l've seen your dad. He is that guy...

that jerk on TV who does those tweaked editorials.

You phoned in a bomb threat to your own father?

That's great.

No, l mean it.

l'm gonna break this to you real slow.

Your dad's an asshole.

l ought to slap you good.

You can't put two hundred people out on a sidewalk...

just because you don't like an editorial!

They're trying to get rid of me. Whose side are you on?

Sylvie, you hurt me.

l didn't mean to.

l'm sorry, Dad.

No more than me.

l.

No more than l.

You're grounded.

You rich fuckhead!

l worked for it!

lt's nice and cool in here.

l missed my ride.

Could you take me to Olympic and Fairfax?

Just a sec.

She's my best friend.

Why didn't you think of that before?

Come on. Just this once, please?

Then l'll be grounded forever.

What's her name?

lvy.

Great.

Good Lord.

Get in.

l get carsick. Do you mind if l sit in front?

Sure.

Thanks.

Your name is lvy.

Something wrong with your mouth?

TMJ. lt's stress-related.

lt gives you terrible headaches, makes your jaw stiff.

Almost killed Burt Reynolds.

Do you have to buy condoms, too?

No, l've got to get a spermicide with Nonoxynol-Nine in it.

What?

lt's a school project. This HlV-positive guy...

talked about not shooting up and using condoms.

lt's not like we're supposed to screw around or anything.

We're supposed to learn to not be embarrassed.

Don't worry. We turn everything in at the end.

Save the receipts.

Shit.

Where have you been?

Grounded.

You lost your boot.

lt's my only pair.

Your turn.

No way.

Way.

Forget it.

Are you afraid?

Come on. l won't laugh.

l got to go.

Who cares about a stupid rope swing anyway?

What's your real name?

l like lvy.

lt sort of gives me the chance to start over.

lt's so beautiful.

Where did you get it?

From my dad.

He must really love you.

He also feels guilty.

l was adopted.

My biological father was black. You can tell by my hair.

My mom is my real mom...

but when Darryl married her...

he adopted me.

l'm pretty sure it was to make her happy.

l think he really cares about you.

My dad didn't want me anywhere around.

He'd get pissed if you tried to talk to him.

He'd throw stuff at me, like food or spitballs.

Your dad read "Hustler"?

l don't think so.

One day l went through his room, and l found all this stuff.

He had, like, five hundred magazines...

of the kind with the chicks and the high heels...

like they look like they're ready for a...exam.

Sordid. Come on.

l bet that's why you look so sexy...

so that your dad would notice you.

Thank you, Doctor.

Did it work?

He left anyway.

l tried to commit suicide once. See?

-Where? -There.

Used to be a lot worse.

ls my hair thing covered up?

Yeah. Why?

My parents.

l tried to convince them it was female pattern balding--

that my hair fell out in the shape of an eye--

but l don't think they really bought it.

lt's too big. You can never find anyone.

How you getting home?

Hitch.

Not everybody gets to go home in a Mercedes.

Maybe l'll see you around.

l don't really have many friends.

Me, neither.

Well, yeah, any friends.

Yeah. Everybody hates me.

Everybody hates me, too.

Do you want to come over?

We kind of have to be Quiet.

My mom sleeps a lot. She's got emphysema.

l think it's to get attention.

She spends her life dying.

Do you got any booze?

No. My dad--glug, glug, glug.

-Fred, Quiet! -Hiya, puppy.

He really only likes me. lt's this weird loyalty thing.

You home?

Yeah. They canceled.

Head Start.

l teach reading a couple nights a week to inner city kids.

That's mighty white of you.

Watch it.

This is great.