Young Wives' Tale

Mrs. Pennant!

What is it, Nanny?

Will you kindly come up and deal with your child?

He refuses to come out of his bath.

Oh, Nanny. Can't you cope?

No, I can't. He's upsetting my Elizabeth.

Rodney, you'll have to come

and do something about Valentine.

What?

Rodney, Valentine won't come out of his bath,

and Nanny's absolutely furious.

Oh, really Sabina.

It would save a little trouble,

if you'd bath little Valentine yourself.

Save who a lot of trouble?

Everybody.

After all, she's Mary's nanny, not ours.

You shouldn't ask her to do things for you.

Then she wouldn't be able to grumble.

Will you come out with that bath?

No, I won't.

Horrid little boy.

I'm so sorry, Nanny.

In future I'll just have to bath him myself, that's all.

I'm very willing to help you on occasion.

But you would have to discipline the child.

That's all right, darling.

Well, young man?

I won't, I won't go.

Come out of that bath, before I get cross.

No.

Why don't you just pick him up?

You try.

You see?

Oh, darling. You are clever.

Why can't you think for yourselves occasionally?

Miss Mary's not paying me for you, Mrs. Pennant.

How do I do that?

Hey, why don't you drowned her while you're about it?

Now.

Hello! Who do you want?

Oh. I'm sorry, Mary.

I've had nothing but interruptions this evening.

That's right, my son, your daughter,

Nanny, Sabina, and now a boys bugle band.

Well, I'm sorry to interrupt you again.

But I wanted to remind Sabina about Nanny's tea.

Twice this week she's complained to me

she's had to get it herself.

I don't see why Sabina should wait on the old-

- Now, Rodney. She does help with Valentine, you know.

Rodney, I know.

But just to try and find another one.

All right.

Ooh, if Bruce gets home first,

tell him I won't be late, will you?

Goodbye.

Goodbye, yes. Goodbye.

Make me a good boy.

Make me a good boy.

Bless Mommy and Daddy.

Bless Mommy and Daddy.

Bless Nanny.

No!

Go on now, kind little boy. Bless Nanny.

No.

- You're a wicked one. - You're a wicked one.

Rodney, did you knock my clean things over?

I did not.

They were burning.

I went across to move them, and they fell over.

Well, why didn't you pick them up?

I haven't time to do your work, as well as my own.

Oh, darling. I know it's difficult for you.

But don't forget, if Mary and Bruce hadn't taken us in,

we'd still be looking for somewhere to live.

You call this living?

The kettle!

Hey, close the door!

What's the matter, darling?

It's impossible to be creative in this atmosphere,

what with whistling kettles, and whistling draughts.

Well, at least the whistling draughts

won't bother you anymore.

I found a screen.

I bet you had to pay through the nose for it.

Haven't got to pay for anything. I borrowed it.

Who from?

Victor.

Why do you say oh, like that?

Oh, I'm sorry. I should have said, oh.

You're being extremely childish about Victor.

He's been very kind to us.

Very kind to you, you mean.

Well, anyway he's got three screens and he only uses two.

So he said I could have the other one.

That's disgusting, having all those screens.

What do you mean?

Well, only a flirty sort of fellow

would have three screens.

Don't be absurd.

Oh my goodness. I've forgotten to put out Nanny's tea.

I'm so sorry, Nanny.

It's quite all right, madam.

Oh dear. Somebody's been at the chicken I'm afraid.

There's only one leg left.

A leg will do nicely, madam.

Let me help you with your salad.

Thank you, madam.

What's the matter, darling? No inspiration?

It's no good, Sabina.

I can't work with you fitting in and out, and ironing.

Well, I don't see why ironing should disturb you.

It doesn't make any noise, does it?

It makes a clatter every time you

put it on that damn little iron thing.

All right, Rodney.

I'll put it down so quietly, I promise you won't hear it.

Oh, no.

Well, what's the matter now?

Now I shall be listening to see if I can hear it.

Very well.

I'll leave the rest of the ironing till tomorrow,

and go and sit up in the bedroom.

Sabina.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm being irritable, but it's just one of those days.

I know, darling.

It's not your fault I can't work.

I'm just not in the mood.

I know what.

What?

You're going to relax completely for a bit.

Oh, I know darling.

But I really want to get on with my work.

No, you're going to lie down here,

and let the work go for a bit.

Well, who's gonna mend my typewriter?

Nevermind about your typewriter.

And now, cross your hands.

You relaxed yet?

Well, not completely.

That's because you're still thinking.

Try and make your mind a blank.

Make my mind a blank?

Yes, don't think about anything at all.

Oh, I don't think I can possibly do that.

Well, very well if you must think,

think about something pleasant and soothing, like

a boat drifting slowly down the stream on a Summer day,

or cattle grazing in a lush meadow.

And which would you prefer?

No darling, it's what you would prefer.

What are you thinking about?

Cattle drifting down stream in a boat.

Is it helping you to relax?

Not really. One of the cows keep falling out.

You remember how I used to

stroke your forehead when you had neuralgia?

It always took it away, didn't it?

Yes, darling. Always.

If I can take away neuralgia, I ought to be able

to take away worrying thoughts too, shouldn't I?

Have you stopped thinking yet?

Practically.

Rodney, If I have the gift of taking

worrying thoughts out of your head,

perhaps after you've had a little rest,

and your head's been empty for a while,

I might find I can put some ideas into it.

Darling, you are.

Mrs. Pennant, Mrs. Pennant!

What's the matter with her?

Something's happened to Valentine.

Coming, Nanny.

Is anything wrong, Nanny?

Is it your wish that your Valentine

should be in bed with my Elizabeth?

Certainly not.

You must put him back in his own bed at once.

I would prefer it if you did that yourself.

- You're a bad, bad boy. - Mommy's very cross with you.

In my opinion, the child deserves a sound spanking.

Are you gonna spank Elizabeth?

Elizabeth? Of course not.

Elizabeth did nothing to encourage him.

How you girls stick together.

And what do you mean by that remark?

I mean, I can't believe any son of mine

would enter a ladies bed uninvited.

Could the child encourage him? She can't talk.

There are other ways.

Anyway, you don't know what happened.

You were having your tea.

And if I was? I suppose I must eat sometime.

Well, of course you must.

I beg your pardon.

I thought you were insinuating something.

Really, Nanny. What is the matter with you?

Everything, it appears.