Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Hang on, we're coming to a bend.

You're going too fast!

No, l'm not. Hang on !

What's this heap of old iron doing here?

Old iron?

l'll give you 10 bob for it.

Don't be daft.

This was once a great car.

Won the Grand Prix three years running.

So it's a car, is it?

Certainly it's a car.

lt's a racing car. And we're winning.

And you're in the way.

And you're in the way for a right belt around the ear, young man,

if l have any more of your lip.

All right. l'll give you 15 bob for it.

Make it 30 bob, and she's yours.

Mr. Coggins, you're not going to sell her, are you?

Of course he's gonna sell her.

What do you think he's running here,

a children's playground or something?

All right, 30 bob. l'll pick her up Wednesday.

But, Mr. Coggins, you promised we could play in her.

Well, l'm sorry, my dears, but she ain't any use to me.

Times are hard.

But you can't take her away.

She's not just any old car. She's ours.

Not anymore, she ain't. l'll see you tomorrow, Bill.

Giddy-up!

What're you going to do with her?

l'll tell you what we're gonna do with her,

we're gonna put her in the clapper

and we're gonna crunch her up till she's one solid piece of metal.

Then we're gonna put her in a fiery furnace,

and we're gonna melt her down till she's liquid iron.

That's what we're gonna do with her.

Now look what you've done. You've frightened her.

She shivered.

See? She's a very special car.

lf you put her in the fiery furnace, you'll be guilty of murder.

Yeah, and if you don't get out of it,

l'll be guilty of two more murders.

Now go on, out of it. Giddy-up! Giddy-up!

Please, Mr. Coggins, you can't sell our lovely car

to that nasty man.

Well, l'm sorry, children, but l'm afraid l already have.

l know! Daddy will buy it for us. Won't he, Jemima?

Of course he will.

Mr. Coggins, promise you won't let her go until we come back.

Well, 30 shillings, mind. Not a penny less.

Please promise.

Please.

All right, l promise.

Come on, Jemima.

Well, that's a clever thing to do!

We're very sorry, miss.

l'm sure you are.

Well, just look at my car.

And just look what a mess l'm in, too.

Oh, no, l think you're beautiful.

And l like your car.

Hmm.

Just the same, you shouldn't be rushing across the road like that.

You know, you might have been killed.

Anyway, why aren't you in school?

lt isn't a holiday, is it?

No, miss.

Do you live around here?

Yes, we live just down the road.

Come on, get into my car, l'm taking you home.

Gosh, just wait till Daddy hears we've been for a ride in a motorcar!

Yes!

What's your name?

l'm Jemima.

And l'm Jeremy.

What's yours? Truly.

That's a very pretty name.

Now, where is your house?

Oh, we don't live in a house.

We live in the castle on top of the hill.

A castle? l didn't know there were any castles around here.

Well, it isn't a castle exactly.

That's what Daddy calls it.

He says King Alfred used to live there hundreds of years ago.

And does your daddy know you aren't in school?

Oh, he won't mind. He never does.

Anyway, he's awfully busy.

ls he?

Well, he'll have to find time to see me,

because l have a few things to say to him.

Edison ! Edison !

Come here, boy!

Good boy, good boy.

That's Daddy over there.

- Hello! - Hello!

Hello. You're just in time.

What on earth is he up to?

That's his latest invention.

Rockets.

Rockets?

Stand back!

Keep clear!

Hooray! Hooray!

Does he know what he's doing?

Of course he does.

Whoa!

Well, l don't see anything funny.

Somebody should do something about it.

Hold on ! Hold on !

Wait! Wait there.

Oh !

Thank you !

l should hope so.

You might have gone up in flames.

Madam, l took that into consideration.

This suit is completely flameproof.

Oh, dear.

You have just succeeded in ruining my propulsion unit.

But how was l to know that you were. . .

Don't be cross with the lady, Daddy.

She gave us a ride in her car.

She was only trying to help.

How very kind.

Her name's Truly. That's nice.

Do you realize, Mr. Potts,

that l nearly knocked down your two children?

Well, we do seem to be accident-prone, don't we?

But it wasn't my fault. You see, they came rushing out...

Oh, well, it was very, very nice of you to apologize.

Apologize? Tea time, children.

Bye-bye, Truly.

Thanks for the ride.

Just a moment, you two.

Don't you have something to tell your father?

Yes, we have. Daddy, Mr. Coggins promised us...

But she didn't mean about that.

Daddy, we didn't go to school today.

Oh-ho.

Well, it'll give the other children a chance to catch up, won't it?

Run along, children.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye, Truly.

Come on, Edison.

But, Mr. Potts... Good day!

But, but... Unstable. Definitely unstable.

Good afternoon, miss. Sorry l can't stop. l'm off to lndia.

Going to have a cup of tea with the Maharajah. Cheerio!

Mr. Potts.

l'm sorry to persist about this,

but perhaps you simply aren't aware that your children

were running about in the road.

And after all, you know, it's not a playground. lt's very...

Would you mind just pressing that switch there?

Switch? Yes, just behind you.

On the right. The right.

The right?

Thank you.

You really ought to try and exercise more control over them.

Yes, l suppose l could chain them up, couldn't l?

On a nice long chain, of course,

so they get plenty of exercise.

Mr. Potts, don't your children go to school?

Oh, l have it now. You're the truant officer.

No, l'm not the truant officer.

Well, didn't you ever play truant? l mean, just once?

No, l most certainly did not.

l bet you didn't.

Would it be too much to ask what this is, this, um, thing?

A little invention of mine, cleans carpets by suction.

All that to clean carpets?

Away with sweeping, and away with brushing,

and away with dirty carpets.

ls that all you do, Mr. Potts? lnvent things?

ls that all l do?

And what's this gadget?

Well, that's not quite right yet,

but eventually, l hope to transmit moving pictures by wireless.

Oh, really? Yes, really. That's my...

And this?

This, madam, is a sweet-making machine.

And is this one of the sweets?

Yes, it is.

And is it supposed to have all those holes in it?

No. Actually, l think that the problem is. . .

The boiling point of your sugar is too high.

Oh, we're an expert on sweet-making, are we?

Well, as a matter of fact...

And an expert on child welfare.

l was only trying to help your children.

Well, maybe my children like running wild in the street.

Did that ever occur to you? l do not see any cause to...

And in any case, how my children behave

is frankly no concern of yours.

l was merely trying...

So, if you'll be so good as to take yourself off

in that fancy automobile of yours

and go do good somewhere else.

Well, l've never been...

Spoken to that way before? Well, maybe it's about time.

Good afternoon, madam.

Mind the cable!