Extended Family

Nothing?

* It's true *

* The marriage that we once had now is through *

* And now we're doing all that we can do *

* To keep us all together as a crew *

* Just do as we say, not as we do *

* We really thought that we were done *

* But we've just begun *

- Has anybody heard from your mother?

- Nope. - I've not.

Hmm.

I gotta get to the Sons of Liberty reenactment.

I can't be late.

As you may have deduced, the redcoats are coming.

- Something tells me it'll all be OK.

- If Paul Revere doesn't ride, the entire course of history

could be changed.

By breakfast, we could all be subjects of the king.

I'll take my chances.

- Um, what did you do with my whale oil lantern?

Oh, sorry.

It's recharging in the hallway.

Seriously, how do I look?

Devastating.

Betsy Ross is going to go all wobbly in her petticoats.

She isn't Betsy Ross yet.

She's still Betsy Griscom, single and available.

And last week at rehearsal, I couldn't tell

if she was flirting with me or Ben Franklin.

Just ask her for her number.

- Yes, as they would have in 1775.

Oh, I know what this is.

You're upset that I'm dating.

- Dad, I'm thrilled that you're trying to date.

Good.

I'm glad.

- I might have suggested a clever online profile

or an appealing photo or two, but whatever.

If you're more comfortable with cosplay, God bless.

Thanks.

Your opinion means a lot to me.

- Truth is, dating gets harder the older you get.

Oh, it's never easy.

Trust me.

- I do not want to know why you just said that.

- All right, Dad, I turned off the Bluetooth

on your whale-oil lantern so it doesn't start

playing Lil Nas X.

- See? You get it.

Verisimilitude is the backbone of historical fiction.

My DNA is strong with this one.

Great news.

- Well, I'm going to grab my musket,

and then it's time to throw off the yoke of tyranny.

Taxation without representation?

I don't think so.

Can I rely on you to man the fort, General Washington?

Man it?

No.

But I can woman it.

Even better.

Woman it, then, please.

I'm not even going to ask.

I am looking at you...

Telling myself "I can get through this" without asking.

It's not going to be easy.

Finished?

Hold on.

OK.

- Where's Julia? - Oh, she had a work emergency.

What kind of work emergency?

- She didn't say, and I didn't ask.

Why not?

- Because she texted, "Don't ask."

- Your marriage just might work.

But listen, I gotta head out, 'cause--

No, no, no, no, no.

Don't tell me.

'Cause whatever it is, it won't be as good as my imagination.

- Hey, Trey. - Hey, Gracie.

What's up?

- Dad, can I have a sleepover? - Ooh.

I'm off duty.

That's up to your mom.

- Oh, I texted her, but her "do not disturb" is on.

That's OK.

Your mom's entrusted full responsibility

until she arrives to me.

So as your future stepdad, I say, commence the sleepover.

Yay!

Thank you, Trey.

Sleepovers are the best.

- Bold move agreeing to a sleepover without any data.

You don't know how many kids are coming.

You don't know what parents--

Uh, Grace, I need some data.

How many kids are coming?

Just Katie.

The Katie I brought to your suite at the Lakers game.

Oh, I love that Katie.

Do you know that Katie, Jim? - I do.

She's Grace's best friend since kindergarten.

I've met her, conservatively, 9,000 times.

- Hey, Paul, don't you have a midnight ride to get to?

Oh, my god!

Paul Revere!

Thank God.

I was about to ask for some Crunch Berries.

Aye, aye, Captain.

- Mr. Kearney, should be feeling the sedative

take effect in a few minutes.

Just lie back and relax.

- Julia, this is an incredibly nice thing you're doing

for your former father-in-law.

Oh.

I may be divorced from your son,

but you'll be my kids' grandpa for life,

helping them, spoiling them, losing them in a crowd.

- Hampton Beach is a very complicated beach.

You know, thanks for keeping it a secret from Jim.

If he ever heard I had a kidney stone, he'd be worried sick.

He loves you very much.

I blame myself.

Once when he was a kid, I pretended I was dead

for the entire afternoon.

Best nap I ever had.

Drug's kicking in, Bobby?

Oh, yeah.

I can't believe I ever judged junkies.

They're on to something.

Okey dokey.

I hope Julia's emergency is short-lived.

Oh, and I've gotta hit the, uh, little patriots room.

Then I will be on my way.

But you got this.

OK.

Ooh.

Hey, Katie. What's up?

- Hi. - Trey Taylor, remember?

Is Grace here?

- Hey, Katie. How's it--

Hi, Mr. Kearney.

Katie?

What did you guys say to her?

both: Nothing.

Derek just dumped me.

OK.

OK, let's go to the kitchen.

Sleepovers are the best.

* *

- Feeling any better now, Robert?

Flying high, Doc.

- So to view the kidney stones, we will insert

a camera into your urethra.

Perfect.

- In my 40 years, this is the first time

I have gotten that reaction.

Camera in my urethra.

Simple in and out.

Lickety-split.

- Bobby, do you know what the urethra is?

I don't.

But the doctor was wearing a Rolex, so he must.

- The urethra is the tube that runs from your bladder

to the tip of your...device.

Device?

What, like my iPhone?

- No, the tip of your-- your unit.

Unit?

- Your device, your unit, your member?

I'm sorry.

I was never good at "Pyramid."

Your penis?

My penis?

What the hell's he doing down there?

It's a kidney stone, not a penis stone.

Tell that butcher he's gotta find another way in!

They're all set for you.

You guys are barbarians!

We may need a minute.

Hey-hey, Revere.

Where's your outfit?

I texted my understudy.

He's going to go on.

But it's gonna be a disaster.

He knows nothing about being a silversmith.

Or the needs of a woman like Betsy Ross.

But I cannot leave you alone.

What are you talking about?

I can handle a sleepover.

You yourself said I got this.

Me got this.

I said you got that.

Now there's a crying girl involved.

You do not got this.

So you got this?

- I got this more than you got this.

Show me what you got.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.