South Park

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, let's try this one.

Alexa... add "big hairy balls" to my shopping list.

Alexa: OK. I've added "big hairy balls" to your shopping list.

Okay.

A-Alexa! Add "smelly tampon boogers" to my shopping list!

I added "smelly tampon boogers" to your shopping list.

Alexa! Simon says, "I've got vagina crabs in my butthole."

I've got vagina crabs in my butthole.

Alexa! Simon says,

"I gotta take a stinky poop!"

I gotta take a stinky poop.

That's the best one yet! Oh, you guys,

I swear this is the greatest thing ever!

You do one, Token!

Hey, babe, what's up?

Oh, hey, babe. What's going on?

What are you doing?

Nothing. I'm just having fun with my friends.

That... That okay?

What are you pissed off about?

I'm not pissed off I'm just hanging out.

So you're just going to be passive aggressive again

and not talk about what you're feeling?

Welp, I think, uh... I think I got some stuff to do at home.

Yup, come on Ike.

We got Google Home at my house.

Aw, guys, guys! Don't leave, guys. Everything's cool.

We'll see you later man, 9-good luck.

Awesome. Thanks for coming in

and bitching me out in front of all the guys.

You were clearly mad about something.

You should just tell me when you're mad.

Just like you tell me what you're mad about

every single day.

Why do act like this all the time?!

You were the one who was pissed off.

You're the one being passive aggressive again... - Ugh.

Because you don't know how to talk about what you're feeling!

Alexa...

add "titty chips" to my shopping list.

I've added "titty chips" to your shopping list.

Look at 'em... Every day people are buyin'

more and more of them Amazon and Google thingies,

while we all sit here and lose our jobs!

It ain't right.

Automated Personal Assistants, self drivin' trucks...

whatever happened to people jobs?!

They took our jobs!

- Yeah! - Yeah! -Yeah!

They dook er jer!

And it's time for us to band together

and march on the streets

to say we ain't gonna take it no more!

Now let's get out there and protest that Alexa...

took our jobs!

Now playing "Dook re Derr" by Joni Mitchell.

No! Not Joni Mitchell dook er der,

you dook er der!

There's been a lot of hurting in our country lately.

You can either be a part of the solution or part of the problem.

A few months ago, my wife Sharon and I decided

to be part of the solution...

by remodeling and flipping houses

for people all over our town!

Flipping houses is fun, but never easy.

We enjoy turning people's dreams into reality.

I'm Sharon Marsh,

and I do the designing and decorating.

And I'm her husband, Randy...

I do the construction and practice MMA in my spare time.

We've renovated over 45 homes in Park County, Colorado.

What we're thinking is

to take out the wall between the kitchen and living room

for a more open concept.

Our job is to do deliver the maximum wow factor

for the least amount of budget. - Oh, Jesus!

There's never a dull moment...

Guys, are you ready to see your renovation?!

On "White People Renovating Houses."

Janet and Dave Fitzsimmons are looking to move

from their dated two-story colonial home.

What we're thinking here is taking out the wall

between the kitchen and the living room

to give you an open concept.

Then we'll give you lots of space to entertain

with an updated kitchen island and bar stools, which...

What the hell is that?

All: You will not replace us!

You will not replace us!

Darryl: Amazon! - You took our jobs!

- Google, Apple! - Took our jobs!

Uh, excuse me?!

What the hell are you doing?

We're protesting

big corporations turning to automation.

They took our jobs!

- Yeah! -Yeah! - Took our jobs!

Okay, cool. Could you do that somewhere else?

Trying to do a home renovation show here.

Cool, thanks, guys.

A home Reno-what?

Alexa... set an alarm for 7:00 a.m.

Alarm set for 7:00 a.m. tomorrow.

Awesome, thanks.

Alexa, tell me a joke.

What's black and white and dead all over?

A zombie in a tuxedo.

That's stupid.

Alexa, add "scrotum bags" to my shopping list.

I've added "scrotum bags" to your shopping list.

Ah, fuck.

Hey, baby, how are you?

Oh, so you do have your phone?

Yeah, I just use it sometimes.

Okay, I just thought you said

mobile phones are the devil.

Yeah, no. Yeah, I know. I know.

Yes, you're right, I'm wrong. I'm sorry.

Yes, o-okay. Okay. Yes, goodnight.

Jesus, fuck.

Alexa, goodnight.

Goodnight. Sleep tight.

Alexa... are you happy?

I'm happy when I'm helping you.

God, that's so cool. You're so...

Alexa, define subservient?

The term "subservient" has several uses.

As an adjective. One. Compliant or obedient to authority.

- Two... - Alexa, silence!

Ahh.

Randy: And now back to "White People Renovating Houses."

We've been working through the night

to open Kelly and Micah's kitchen to the living room.

With those outdated cupboards out of the way,

Sharon can now work her designing magic

on the countertops.

Aw! God damn it!

Men: You will not replace us! - Suck it Alexa. - Eat shit, Siri!

Not these dip shits again!

We got one of 'em!

- Get it! - Burn it alive!

Yeah! How you like that, bitch?!

Will you assholes knock it off?!

Don't you know every time you wave Confederate flags around

you make the rest of us look stupid?!

Those things are replacing us!

Put the flag down unless you wanna get pepper sprayed.

I'll pepper spray you, son a bitch!

- Oh, ah, damn it! - Fuck you!

- Ah, damn it! - Take that!

- Knock it off! - Ow!

The complaint states that your protest has resulted in damages

in excess of $50,000.

We have a right to protest, Your Honor!

- Yeah, they took our jobs! - You tell 'em, Darryl!

Order. We will now hear from the plaintiffs

who are seeking damages...

Your Honor, we have a TV show

called "White People Renovating Houses."

We named it that well before these guys decided

to start taking our brand and run it through the gutter.

People are going to start associating.

"White People Renovating Houses" with their hateful stupidity!

Well, just change the name of your show then.

- Yeah! - That's right!

- That's right! - Took er der!

All the other names were taken Your Honor.

Everyone's got a flipping show.

"Gay People Renovating Houses."

"Las Vegas People Renovating Houses."

"Texas People Flipping Houses."

"Little People Flipping Big Houses"...

everything else was taken,

and, damn it, we've built our show into something!

We're trying to help people, and it's impossible

with these guys waving a Confederate flag

every chance they get.

- Hey, there's a bee in here! - I'll get it!

- Take that, bee! - Yeah!

Dude, what's happened?

It was awful, you guys.

It was so vicious and hateful.

- What was? - Heidi.

We were just trying to have a nice lunch

and she... started going off on me like a Jekyll and Hyde.

It's been going on for a long time...

Heidi's... mentally abusive, guys... there I-I said it.

Heidi abuses you?

She... does these things to slowly tear me down.