The Sarah Jane Adventures

This is where Sarah Jane Smith lives.

And it's home to things way beyond your imagination.

There's an extraterrestrial supercomputer in the wall,

her son, a genetically engineered boy genius,

a schoolgirl investigator across the road,

and a whole universe of adventure, right here on the doorstep.

Ready? Always.

No, cos I had to do this essay. 2,000 words on pendulum physics.

It was fascinating, but then everyone wanted to go out for a burger,

and I thought, "Why not?"

So we all went into town, and... Well, I hope you finished your work.

Sanjay owes me five quid, I bet him you'd say that!

Right, and who's Sanjay? Oh, he's just down the hall. He's brilliant.

We just clicked straight away. He's smart,

he's cool, he keeps making me laugh.

I think he's the best mate I've ever had all my life.

Oh, your face! That is brilliant! What?! I...

Oh, that is such a classic!

Forget next week, swot boy, you're on your own.

ALARM BLARES

Emergency broadcast!

UNIT armed forces are converging on this house, Sarah Jane. Right now!

Stop right there!

I'm not having soldiers on my property. Everything OK?

Yes, fine. They're just leaving.

Miss Smith, my name is Colonel Tia Karim,

representing the Unified Intelligence Task Force.

If I could have a word in private?

No, you're not getting any closer. Just tell me. What do you want?

I'm sorry, but it's my solemn duty to inform you that your friend,

the Doctor, is dead.

Don't be stupid. He can't be.

Last Sunday, at 1700 hours,

the body of a Time Lord was returned to the earth.

UNIT scientists have checked the DNA results, and it's definitely him.

I'm sorry, Miss Smith, for your loss.

Sorry for the whole wide world, because he's gone.

The Doctor's gone.

He's dead.

The Doctor was found 10,000 light years away,

by a race called the Shansheeth.

They sent us this. It's called an epitaph stone.

It's a recording device, the equivalent to a death notice.

The Shansheeth are what you might call...intergalactic undertakers.

Oh, come on. This is ridiculous! There's no such thing!

Sarah Jane, I can confirm

the Shansheeth are known throughout the universe

as the carers of the dead.

It is said they trawl the battlefields of outer space,

looking for heroes to bring home.

Yeah? Well, that's quite enough from you, thanks!

Just shut up. Play this thing.

I bring condolences from the Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet

upon this terrible day. Well!

As if you'd trust that thing? Just look at him!

Hey, that's not fair.

Since when did we judge by appearances?

Since this lot started lying!

OK. But look. I hope this is all a big mistake, I really do.

For the Doctor's sake we've got to find the facts,

which means...we stop and we listen.

Yeah. Thanks.

Mr Smith?

The Shansheeth did journey to the wastelands of the Crimson Heart,

whereupon we found the body of the last Time Lord.

Witnesses say that he perished saving the lives of 500 children

from the Scarlet Monstrosity. Sounds like him.

The Doctor's home world is long since lost.

But legends talk of his love for the earth.

Therefore, the Shansheeth will return the Doctor to the human race.

Oh, weep for him, peoples of the earth.

Mourn his loss, for the universe feels darker tonight.

So what do you think?

UNIT will take charge of the funeral

in conjunction with the Shansheeth.

We'll be using UNIT Base 5, situated inside Mount Snowdon.

We can arrange transport and accommodation for all of you.

Thank you. Then you'll come?

Oh, yes.

Nothing's going to make me miss this.

I'll be there.

So what was all that about, with the soldiers and stuff?

She's weird, Sarah Jane, there's always something happening over...

Hey, what's that for?!

Don't you ever go anywhere, OK?

Not even to the shops? Nope.

Not anywhere. Promise?

I promise.

I always thought if ever the Doctor dies, I'll know.

Somehow I'll just feel it.

Wherever he is, if he's far away on some distant star

or lost in the depths of dark ages,

I'll know.

But I didn't. I didn't feel a thing.

I know, Mum, but it doesn't actually mean anything.

No, maybe it does, though. Cos I don't think he's dead.

He can't be!

Yeah, I'm going to go to that funeral, Luke,

but only to find out what's going on.

Because I think the Doctor's still alive.

Luke says Sarah Jane's gone mad.

Don't be so rude. He wouldn't say "mad" about his own mother.

No. He said, "Nutty, fruity, loop-the-loop, tonto barmy bonkers."

Be fair, though, sir, he's worried. It's like your mum.

Remember when Grandad died?

She washed everything. Curtains. Furniture. Me.

She even washed the walls. Who washes walls?

It went on for days, and then she just started crying.

It takes time. Cos when someone dies it's so massive,

it's like you can't fit it all inside your head.

That's what Sarah Jane's doing. She's denying it.

So, what do we do?

Wait. That's all you can do.

Friends just wait.

Bang on time.

Don't worry, Haresh, I'll look after them.

Sorry to hear your bad news.

There's no need. I'm fine.

Bye.

Keep the school running without me, sir.

While I head off in my nice, big, posh motor.

Argh! Did you see that?!

Static electricity. If you paid more attention in class...

Come on, you, get in!

Now THAT is what I call a base!

'Silo 15 now entering decontamination.

'Staff to holding position. Repeat. All staff to holding position.'

We've allocated bedrooms.

The funeral will take place at 0900 hours tomorrow,

so that gives you time to acclimatise.

The doors to the funeral wing will be sealed at 2100 hours.

This is still a working military base,

so you'll only have access to the specified areas.

That's nice(!) Bring us all this way to tell us we're not trusted.

So who else is coming? Well, it's all been a bit of a rush.

The Brigadier's stranded in Peru,

and Miss Shaw can't make it back from Moonbase until Sunday.

You've got a moonbase?!

Oh, man, I am running out of reactions.

You've got Graske!

What are you doing with Graske? I knew it.

I said there was something going on. Sorry, what's the problem?

We've met Graske before, and believe me, they're trouble!

Oh, they're not Graske, they're Groske.

Groske very different!

Groske are blue! Hate Graske!

Graske make me stamp my feet!

The Groske were stranded on earth in 2006.

We took them in, and they've been earning their keep as workmen.

Groske build rocket for funeral!

Come and see, come and see!

Rocket X-15 will take the Doctor's body into space,

sealed inside a lead-lined coffin.

Then he'll be set free.

In death, as in life. Very poetic.

I think it's beautiful.

Just what he deserves.

What about the TARDIS? There was no sign of it.

The body was found all alone.

Blimey, though! Not a bad way to go!

That's a real, proper rocket.

Boy smells!

Oh, thanks a bunch(!)

You short little titch!

Clyde, of all the things for you to laugh at, height?

Yeah, you smelly bad smell-boy.

You blue, bluey blueness.

This area's about to be sealed off as part of the curfew.

I can take you to your bedrooms.

The Shansheeth are holding a gathering of remembrance.

Just watch it, you.

But you see? So bright!

You smell of time.

What do you mean?

He's coming!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

The Claw Shansheeth invites you to spend tonight

reflecting in the memories of a loved one lost.

So who are all these people?

Old soldiers.

It's not easy to find friends of the Doctor.

He'd come and go without a trace.

Think of all the lives he touched.

The whole planet should be in mourning. But no-one knows.

Can I see him?

I don't think you'd want to.

That sounds to me like you're hiding something.

Sarah Jane, he was hurt.

Hey, come on, let's go and sit down.

I don't even know what he looks like.

I'm sorry?

I think he regenerated, cos the last time I saw him he didn't say a word,

he just looked at me, as though...

That body could have a different face,

and I wouldn't even know if it was him or not.

Honoured guests steeped in grief and misery,

this is the cradle of the lost chord.

Its bittersweet melody...

If you don't mind, I just need to gather my thoughts on my own.