Wrecked

Previously on "Wrecked"...

The pirates. Oh my God.

Where's my freaking bra?! Where is it?!

Oh!

My friends and I are going home.

I found some money.

Look at us! We're slapping the shit

out of each other, and for what?!

- No! - No!

Luther? The Barracuda said you were dead.

You got to fight for what's yours, buddy.

Owen wrote the journal.

This journal doesn't make any sense.

What the hell is "ROFLcopter"?

I blew up the ship. You want to know why I did it?

For Florence!

Danny and Owen got the jump on me. Ohh!

Said something about trying to get off the ship

- before it sank. - Abandon ship!

Come on!

What could you have possibly said to Corey

that would make him blow up the ship?

Look, we could spend the whole day

pointing fingers, passing the buck, blowing the whistle...

- What did you say?! - Fine. Okay.

I... told him

- that his suit looked good. - That's not it.

I said that I like weddings,

- which I do. - Who cares?

I told him that you were stealing Florence,

and he should do everything in his power to stop you.

I said I love shrimp.

Why would you say that?!

I... The man is obviously out of his mind!

I didn't know it that at the time!

I thought he was just kooky!

You know what? The Dream Team... it's over.

- You don't mean that. - Yeah.

In fact, I'm starting to think

there never even really was a Dream Team.

Owen, I know you're mad, but you are talking crazy right now!

If we don't pull it together Dream Team-style,

we're gonna die!

Then what the hell do you suggest that we do?!

You're not gonna like it,

but I need you to pop my arm out of its socket.

What?!

Aah! Okay, come on.

Everybody in! This is the last lifeboat!

Go! Go!

I can't believe Danny and Owen would just bail...

I know, right?

But we should just get in the boat

and move on with our new lives.

- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What?

Is this the best we can do?

What are you talking about?

Just saying that we're gonna be at sea

for a very long time maybe, right? What?

I don't want to get stuck with the nerds.

I mean, Chet, Karen, and the weird youth pastor?

- What? - I-I think we should bail

and go find a cooler boat.

- Oh, my God, Todd. - You get in this boat!

Nobody's listening to me.

All right, we're gonna put her in the water!

We can't wait any longer!

Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Oh! Oh, thank God you're still here.

No, no, no. Hold it right there.

If it doesn't have a heartbeat, it stays here.

Can't risk the weight.

No, no, no. I-I need this!

Well, it's your funeral. I'm putting that boat down.

No, no, no, no!

It has, uh... uh, supplies!

Um, food and... and water.

Why didn't you just say so, you dipshit?

Take it on board. Go.

I can't break the chain!

There's got to be another way!

Steve, it doesn't matter, man.

I thought I was gonna die in here

without ever seeing anyone again,

but instead, I met you,

my new best friend...

and the coolest guy I ever met.

Oh! Don't say that.

Hey, we had some good times.

Remember when you first came in here

and you were, like, "Aah! Aah!"

You scared the shit out of me!

You scared the shit out of me.

Yeah.

And we're always gonna have that.

Yeah. For the rest of our lives.

But your life's nearly over.

But for you, it could be a long time

if you get out of here.

- Get out of here, man! - No!

Get out of here, Steve!

I don't want my best friend to die,

not today, on the day that I met him!

No.

I was meant to be here.

I was meant to meet you.

I'm not leaving without you.

If I can't break the chains, break the pipe!

I've tried. I can't.

We can do it together!

Come on!

Okay. You ready?

One, two, three!

Ah! Oh.

Oh, no! I've killed him!

Look... if you pop my shoulder out,

it would give me the extra few inches

that I can reach the keys and slap them back to us.

What are you talking about? That is not a thing.

It is a totally a thing.

Mel Gibson pops his shoulder out

in, like, every movie to escape.

It's like you haven't even seen "Lethal Weapon 2."

Okay! Fine! How do you want to do this?

All right. Come here.

Crouch down.

From here, you're gonna pull down on my arm

as hard as you can.

Now, you're my best friend,

so I know you're gonna want to take it easy,

but you got to go... Aah!

Ooh!

Oh, it's out!

F... you!

You! Why would you do this?!

- You said it was a thing! - Yeah, in movies!

This is real life, you idiot!

You seemed very confident.

Oh, it's a dead limb.

Look at that. It's just floating in the water.

You want to at least maybe try for the key?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna do it.

Come on!

Ohh.

I chummed the water.

Watch out for sharks 'cause I chummed the water.

The ship's about to snap in half.

We got to go now!

I don't like this. It doesn't feel right.

Hey, hey, hey, look at me. Look at me.

I know that you're scared right now,

but some day, you and I are going to look back on all this,

and we are just gonna ROFLcopter.

What did you just say?

ROFLcopter?

I'll try to explain this.

It means to "roll on the floor laughing" copter.

Oh, my God. You wrote the journal.

All that nerd speak... it was you!

It's not nerd speak, all right?

It's cool Internet slang,

and I did it for us!

But Danny and Owen...

Forget them!

They're probably drowned by now!

Hey! Florence!

Seriously? We're just about to leave!

Hold the boat.

I swear to God I'll bring her back, dead or alive.

W-Why would you bring her back dead?

What? I... I just... I didn't even... Shut up!

Hold the boat!

Where's Florence? We have to go!

That's it.

I'm dropping this boat.

People going back and forth.

Goddamn free-for-all!

We're going, and that's final!

Hold the boat!

I'm saving him! I'm a hero!

Who the hell is that?

It's Luther!

He was Barracuda's lover before she...

Uh, that doesn't really matter,

but the main thing is he's a cool guy.

- Come on! Let's go! - Wait!

Florence and Corey... they went back in.

Did you see them?

I didn't see anyone!

Prepare to lower the lifeboat.

Ready?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. On three, right?

Okay. One...

Oh, that hurts just as bad going in.

Oh!

Ohh, I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Oh, it's my fault.

You and Florence were getting close, and I got jealous.