Armor

- Dude, crazy story this morning.

- Gotta hear it. - All right.

Heist in the news.

This one comes in from Dino.

Shout out to Dino.

Dino's my man.

Headline reads-

"armored truck kills money

on Texas freeway, sparking cash grab frenzy."

Feels awesome.

Here we go.

"An armored truck dropped loads

of cash onto the Dallas Thornton Freeway,

causing a major traffic jam .

Motorists hopped out of their autos, scooping up the bills.

Authorities say drivers need to return the money

or face possible criminal charges."

I saw this on Tic-Tac.

People running around the freeway yanking cash.

- Awesome, I mean, I know I'd do it.

And filming themselves.

Smart.

- According to the National Weather Service...

- ... of revised river forecast

for lower Tallapoosa and Alabama Rivers.

- Hey there, I'm meteorologist Dick Duchie

here with a look at your First Alert Forecast.

Get ready for a-

I feel like I failed my wife.

I feel like I failed my kids.

I kept telling myself that I didn't have a problem,

but when I woke up in my daughter's room

with holes punched in her walls,

that's when I finally realized how deep I was.

It didn't matter though.

My wife already packed the car two hours before I woke up.

I don't even know where they are anymore.

Thanks for sharing.

I mean, that's what the bottle does to us, right?

It makes you a liar.

You become your worst self and worst version of ourselves.

That's the hardest part, I think,

admitting what you've become.

I know it took me a long, long time to admit that.

I know that if it wasn't for this group and, and my, my son,

I'd be at the bottom of a glass somewhere.

That's, that's without question, so...

Hey, um...

Sorry for losing it back there.

Not a good first impression.

Please.

My first meeting I was rocking

in a fetal position for hours.

It gets better.

That's me.

Keep coming back.

Okay.

Come on.

Settle down.

Just making sure you heard me.

You know how old people's hearing is, huh?

- Well I'll tell you what, maybe if you keep smarting off,

the horn won't be the only thing screaming.

- Okay, settle down or you're not getting your lunch.

Go, go, go.

Let's go.

So, uh, what's on Sarah's menu today?

Peanut butter and pickles.

Ooh.

How much longer you gonna be able to stay on this diet?

- Honestly, it's not as bad as you think.

Yeah, it is.

- Look, you can judge me all you want,

but all the books say that the more we do together,

the more it's like we're both pregnant.

- Ha! - Which, it's

it's a good thing, I think.

Speaking of which, actually,

Sarah said she didn't get your RSVP for the baby shower.

Sent them out a week ago.

I, I told her they probably got lost in the mail.

So, did it get lost in the mail?

I don't know.

Dad, is everything okay?

Yeah.

No, I, I know, I know.

I was thinking about her last night too.

Sarah would go over baby names

and this one's gonna be a boy,

but she really wants the next one to be a girl.

So you throw out the name Trisha,

that's a possibility down the line.

And I dunno, I wasn't sure how you'd take that.

Good name.

Yeah.

Well, hey, six years sober today, big guy. Huh?

Come on.

She'd be proud of you, Dad.

59326.

Yep.

57291.

- You do know how long your route is today, right?

You guys are doing the dead 10

and you're already late. As always.

Tell me, you really need to review all this stuff again?

It's protocol, Frank.

- Protocol is to get this shit back in the truck

so I can get back to my clients, James.

In a better mood than usual.

20248.

49826.

Got it.

- Pull that. - Yeah.

Fucking hot box in here.

Shit.

It's not even noon and it's this hot.

This thing work?

Oh my god.

The hell's that guy hauling?

It's not our business.

All right.

I got it, I got it.

You okay?

Oh fuck.

- You all right? - No, no, no, no, no, no.

I dropped a fucking pen.

Fuck. - What do you mean a pen?

A pen light.

Sarah gave me this light with my name on it specifically

'cause I'm always losing shit in this fucking truck.

Let's go.

Come on.

Fuck it.

Fuck it, let's go.

Okay, it's fine.

- Look, I don't know what's in there,

but if we break it, we buy it.

- I got it. - You understand that?

Yeah, I got it.

- Look, can you just don't tell Sarah about this, okay

'cause then she's gonna start worrying about

me losing my gun next

and it's gonna turn into a whole thing.

- What, what is the real issue here?

- There's no issue, I just don't want her to stress

until the baby comes.

About a pen?

- Yeah, it's gonna stress her out.

Little words of wisdom.

Your stress starts when that baby pops its head out.

You got that? - Dad, please.

Fine.

I will not tell Sarah that you lost a pen light

with your little initials on it.

Yeah.

Nothing more stress free than driving a cash truck

10 miles to bumfuck nowhere.

Beautiful, beautiful bumfuck nowhere.

Dad? You all right?

Yeah.

Fucking truck's falling apart.

- It's got a little bit of character to it.

Hey.

Am I gonna have to twist your arm

or are you gonna finally come over for dinner tonight?

- I, uh, I have to host a meeting tonight, I'm sorry.

- You know you have an actual family outside that circle?

- Yeah, but not one that's gonna drive a truck

through the living room.

Not yet anyways.

All right, look, the offer still stands. Okay?

Just come over whenever.

Just thought it'd be a good idea for you to

get away from your vices for a bit.

Case.

You want me to bring a pie or...

- Careful with the C4? - Man, I, I know

it's unstable as fuck, man. - Well, everything's unstable.

Speak for yourself.

Yeah, you're late.

No, we're ready. Are you fucking ready?

Right.

Let's do it.

- Hey, except that it's the truth.

No, it's not. No it's not.

Uh, it's the truth.

First day, little Case on the job,

a little baby in his Kevlar vest.

Got his baby, new little id,

it's right off the press still hot,

carrying his first bag of money.

Big bag of money.

He's so nervous, he's, I would say raining sweat.

- He's exaggerating. - You left a trail

on the sidewalk, there's no question about this.

Anyway, back to the truth.

All jittery, like, somebody comes up beside him

and taps him on the shoulder just to ask the time.

He whips around like Dirty Harry right in the face

of 147-year-old woman.