Lucky 7

You know that?! I can lose 'em!

- You've gone nuts! - You got a better idea?

What are you doing?

Hey, don't even think about it, Matt!

Matt, what are you doing?!

Giving 'em what they want.

Aw, come on!

Man: Whoa!

[The staple singers' "when will we be paid" playing]

- - Ilene: Have you told them?

No use getting them wound up until I know for sure.

Corporate's supposed to let me know this week.

You check what the lottery's up to?

$145 million, give or take.

Fingers crossed!

Bora Bora, here we come!

Chew faster.

We leave precisely at 0700 hours.

The toaster that we got as a wedding present...

which was not exactly state-of-the-art 15 years ago...

well, this may come as a shock,

but está muerta.

Some people lose the mystery in a relationship.

Some people lose the magic...

- Mmm. - ... The connection,

- the "wow." -

But those people, my lovely bride,

they are not us.

You go...

and you get your toaster.

What?

Oh!

- Oh, baby. - Mwah.

Bianca: Thank you.

Okay, troops, let's go. We are mobilizing.

Vamos. Let's go.

Honey, a minute on the lips...

A lifetime on the hips.

You're right.

I know.

Ted, we went over our minutes again.

So we'll get a new plan.

There's all these texts to some 646 number.

It's gotta be a mistake, right?

Let me see that.

Oh, that's when I was trying to work out the, uh...

cable problem with the cable guy.

You texted the cable guy?

It's a new customer-service thing.

Guess they don't have the wrinkles all ironed out.

I'll call him.

Okay.

Gotta hit the pavement.

Watch it... I'm gonna spill.

Isn't Bob picking you up?

No.

I'm walkin' to work every day now.

I'm gonna lose a pound every week

until I'm back at the weight I was on our wedding night.

How long's that gonna take?

Not long.

Until...

November 2014?

Off I go!

Samira: Way to go, Denise! Keep it up!

You should go to a real school, Samira.

Pick a lane, you hybrid bastard!

Juilliard is a real school, dad.

Who's gonna marry a girl

who's got a violin stuck to her face half the day?

Well, I'm... I'm not interested in getting married anytime soon,

so don't worry.

Well, you better get interested.

Your mother spoke to her cousin.

They found you a man... a doctor.

Arranged marriage? Really, dad?

What... what are you gonna do next, throw me in a volcano?

Cheer up, Samira.

You live in the greatest country in the world.

Are you all idiots?!

It says "don't walk"!

It's pizza day. Can I have $5?

Uh, let me see, honey, how much I've...

got here, 'cause I... I just paid for your dance class.

Woman: Bye, honey.

Right. Okay, this was supposed to be for the lottery pool but...

It's okay. I don't need it.

If we win the lottery, every day will be pizza day.

Nice.

I will see you...

at the recital.

We make a good team, mom.

Emma: Bye. Sweetie.

Ruth: What kind of a mother are you?!

You actually think that there is fruit in a Frootio?

There is "thiamine hydrochloride."

Okay? What kind of a tree does that grow on?

Mary: Look at me. You're gonna lecture me on how to be a mother?

One of your kids is half-asleep, and the other is a convict!

Oh, yeah? Yeah?

Well, nobody asked you and Matt to move into my house!

Yo, Matt,

you have got to get up and do somethin' about this yelling.

All right? We cannot go on like this, Matt.

What are you doing? Hey, for your information,

I'm an ex-convict, all right?

Ruth: Henry, come downstairs and get dressed for school!

Nicky: Oh, my God, ma! Use your inside voice!!

We can't keep living with your crazy mother!

Please, you gotta find us a place of our own.

Well...

I was holding off till it was a sure thing.

Got to get Bob to give me that raise, but...

check it out.

Shut up.

- You got us one? - Not yet, but soon.

Um, I still need a little more money

for the security and first month.

Matt, could you imagine how great it would be

to have our own place again?

Nobody to walk in on us.

Or find our toys in the drawer...

***

Just imagine a place with...

I don't know...

a big bathtub

and thick walls.

- - And shag carpeting in every room.

- Oh. - Shag, Matt. Every room.

Can you imagine how much fun we'll have?

I like shag.

I know you do.

You're the shagmeister.

You're the king of shag.

So you go and you get a raise,

as big as the one as I'm gettin' out of you.

I will.

I'm gonna talk to Bob today.

Because once this baby is born,

I ain't spending another day under that witch's roof.

Ay, Denise, you temptress.

- Smog check. - You voluptuous Vixen of Astoria.

- Wiper-blade replacement. - Bianca finds out about us...

- Done. - ... There's gonna be trouble.

Made you some fresh coffee.

Gracias.

Can I get your opinion on somethin'?

And you, too. I could use a male perspective.

Been married 15 years, honey. I have no more male perspective.

It's probably nothin'. I was doing the bills,

and I noticed that Ted had some texts to a strange number.

What's "some"?

- 174. -

But he said it was to the cable guy.

From the male perspective, it totally makes sense.

I'd love to stay and chat, ladies,

but I have a steering-column replacement... thing.

It does sound kind of suspicious, right?

Call the number, see if the cable guy picks up.

- Is Bob in yet? - In back.

Hey, the drawing is tomorrow, so...

I need your lottery pool money.

I'm all tapped out, bro.

Don't worry, Matt. We got your back.

That poor guy. That is the fifth week in a row.

What do you say we try different numbers?

But if we pick new numbers,

then the old numbers will win.

Why tempt fate?

Nicholas, stop.

- I'm not like that. - All right, I'll stop,

if... if you promise to come out with me Friday night.

Sure. I'll just tell my parents

I'll be out all night with an ex-convict.

Reformed ex-convict.

Why are you looking at me like that?

W... you know, somebody tells you "you're beautiful" in Urdu,

you should not laugh at them.

No, you actually thought I was ***.

- What? I did? - Mm-hmm.

Nick, I think you're really sweet.

I just want to take things slow.

Okay?

Yeah. Sure.