Bushwick Beats

Hi.

- Hi - Do you mind if I join you?

Oh, I'm waiting for someone.

Boyfriend?

No, just... just a friend.

Ah.

Look, I never do this, but I thought maybe...

I have a boyfriend.

He just can't be here right now.

I'm in a long-time distance relationship.

Oh. Wow.

Yeah.

How do you do it?

Oh, God.

Hmmm.

Hmm.

Hey.

Benny.

Hmm?

Benny, wake up.

What do you want?

What time did you get home?

Hmmm.

Four.

Uh-huh.

Okay, you need to replace the AC.

I will.

Okay, but today, all right? There's going to be a heat wave.

Hmm, not this year.

Okay, but in my year, it's gonna be 100 degrees outside

and I don't wanna come home to an oven, okay?

I'm suffocating.

Okay. I'll do it.

Okay.

Uh-hmm.

If you don't fix it, I will.

I mean, you remember what happened with the shower head.

Okay?

Oh.

So what happened with the shower head?

She installed a new one because she wanted

a stronger water pressure and she inadvertently

bifurcated the shower into two separate timelines.

And since the lease is under my name and my year,

any alterations she makes impacts

the time-space compression and limits where we can coexist.

Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

And we used to have really good shower sex.

Did you try amalgamating your split timelines

by replacing your shower head with the exact same model

she installed?

We tried that, it didn't work.

What happens if you run the bath?

Sorry.

I mean, I know a couple

in a six-month long-time distance relationship

and they just got engaged.

Yeah, but that's six months.

I mean, Benny is three years behind me.

Yeah, but you two are so great together.

How would you know that?

I mean, you've never met him.

You can't ever meet him.

I'm just trying to tell you what you wanna hear.

Honestly, I couldn't do it.

I love him, it's just...

I mean, I don't know if he'll ever catch up to me, you know.

Hey.

Hey.

Did you eat?

No, I was waiting for you.

Do you wanna order something?

Bombay Shack is closing.

Yeah, I told you that. It's a juicery now.

Why do you think I keep on making you order from there?

Because you're bossy.

Can I have some more?

Please?

Please sir.

Oh, my god, I was just thinking that!

Isn't it crazy that some phrases are so embedded with pop-culture

that we can't use them in everyday life anymore?

No.

It's like "I am your father".

When would you ever need to say that?

"You will listen to me, I am your father."

Mmmmmm...

Fine, okay.

But see what I mean, right?

Our mind can't interpret it any other way.

Oh! Or like the other day, I was carrying groceries

and I was like, "Hold the door!"

"Hold the door!"?

Hodor?

Hoooodor!

Hodor?

Hodor like from Game of Thrones?

Yeah.

Is that a spoiler?

Are you watching Game of Thrones without me?

I'm so...

How far are you?

I'm caught up.

But that's our fucking show, Marie!

Oh my god, it's everybody's fucking show, okay?

All my coworkers talk about it, what do you want me to do?

Like avoid spoilers for three years?

So, you just sit there and pretend to cry

when someone fucking died!

Yeah! I have.

That's exactly what I do.

And I do that with a lot of things...

- and it's exhausting. - That's so fucked up.

Who are you watching Game of Thrones with?

I'm not doing Pilates.

I fucking hate Pilates.

Who are you?

I'm sorry.

I really don't wanna fight.

I'm sorry.

So, you weren't doing Pilates?

No!

I really thought you were getting worked up.

I was paranoid that you'll figure it out.

So, I started going up and down the stairs at work.

I don't know.

And on Mondays, I go up and down

a whole bunch all the time... during lunch.

Oops, sorry.

Things will get better.

When?

Benny? Are you here?

Okay. Ugh.

Hey? Why is the front door open?

Sorry, I'm late.

You could have called.

That was a joke.

Okay, obviously.

Is everything okay?

Well, you didn't fix the AC.

Hey, I'll fix it.

No, you're not gonna fix it. Okay?

You don't wanna fix it because you're cheap

and suffering gives you a god complex.

Okay.

I was offered a promotion today.

That's... that's amazing.

What is the...

Actually, it doesn't matter.

Hmm.

We should celebrate.

Well, yeah, that was my first thought.

Oh, I can't wait to celebrate with Benny.

But I can't call him or text him or email him

or go out to an actual dinner with him

or leave fucking Brooklyn

because he doesn't exist right now.

And if I take this promotion, we could exist

even further apart in time.

And I know you don't think that will happen again,

but you don't know that, so.

I'm sorry.

I don't wanna live here anymore.

Well, this is the only place where we could be together, so.

Do you wanna break up?

- Is that what you're saying? - No, I don't wanna break up you.

I'm just so sick of this shitty apartment.

Our apartment isn't shitty, okay?

It's a miracle, and we are not gonna find a better deal.

I don't care!

I don't want a better deal! Okay?!

I want a central AC and a washer and a dryer, and a doorman!

I wanna live in Dumbo, okay!

All my friends live in Dumbo.

What the fuck is so great about Dumbo?

Uh, in three years, everything is great about Dumbo.

And you know what? I can afford it now.

Nice. Real classy.

Oh, come on. I didn't mean it like...

You know what?

No, I'm not gonna apologize because I make more money

than you because I chose a career of stability.

Okay?

You don't think that I'd like to spend all my time,

like, water coloring?

No! Okay.

I hate my job half the time but I do it

so that I can afford things that I enjoy

like brunch and health insurance,

and I could pay for us to take a trip to Santorini,

but I can't take you with me

because you're still living in the past!

Okay. So that's it, hmm?

You think I'm living in the past.

Yes! Yes, yes!

And I'm so sick of this like,

"We're both living in our own present" bullshit, okay?

I'm not ahead, I'm not in the future,

I'm in the now and you're in the past.

Do you hear yourself, hmm?