The World's Most Beautiful Swindlers

These stories are real.

Any resemblance to actual events or people

living or dead is not coincidental.

Pierre Roustang presents

THE WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL SWINDLERS

[ L'escroc” sung by Serge Gainsbourg ]

Today. Tokyo.

-1,000 yen? - Yes.

Hello? Yes. Oh, the currency exchange?

I've already sent it out. You're welcome.

Your balance is 49,700 yen.

Then, let's make it 50,000 yen!

Here.

May I help you? Would you like that one?

Every time she comes in, she tries it on.

She should just buy an imitation.

The real one doesn't look good on her anyway.

BAR KINU

Here.

Another cognac.

- Another cognac, please. - Sure.

Here.

- Welcome! This way, please. Welcome!

- A beer. A small one. Sure.

I always sit here.

A beer tastes the same

without paying extra for the table.

- Are you looking for Madam? - Yeah.

Here you go.

- She stepped out for a moment. - I see.

You are leaving already?

No. Another one.

- A foreign custom, I see. - Hmm?

I'm too old to act cool anymore.

Don't be so modest. I think it's very reasonable and smart.

- You think so? - Of course!

The men with no money tend to try to show off more.

I don't like those men.

But isn't it your job

to make them spend more money in here?

Well, that's true.

- Oh, Sensei! Welcome back!

This is a surprise.

I haven't seen you in a while, so I figured you died.

- That's a little mean. - Can I have a water?

Hey, you look younger today.

Don't you think so, Yoshie?

We've never met before.

- Is that right? - Yes.

- This is Yoshie. - Nice to meet you.

This is Mr. Mitsuda, a songwriter.

You've heard of him, right?

Remember a song "I love Ginza"? He wrote it.

She wouldn't know. It was 30 years ago.

You weren't born yet then.

It was such a huge hit, and he made a fortune.

Butyoulook really young, Sensei.

- It must be the teeth. - The teeth?

I finally got them today.

Oh, I see. They look very nice.

They don't look like dentures at all.

It's got a platinum backing.

What?

- Hey! - Welcome!

Nice seeing you again!

- Today was such a nice day! - Welcome! Come this way!

- I want to drink with Madam! - You don't like me any more?

A platinum backing?

It's all covered with it! It must have cost a lot.

It cost me about one million yen.

One million?!

It's hard to believe, right?

The platinum itself cost about 400,000.

But I'm surprised.

You don't mind spending money on your own body.

Of course not! That's what the money is for!

I need to fix my back tooth, but forget it!

I'd rather replace the curtains in here. Have a great time.

Here you go. Something wrong?

- My smoke. - We've got some over here.

I want my cigar.

- A light. - Yes.

- I said a light. - Oh, I'm so sorry.

I almost forgot.

- Can I use the phone? - Sure.

Hello? ls this Misashino Maid Services? This is Mitsuda.

Have you heard from Yoshikawa?

Not yet? That's not good.

Yeah, but a replacement won't understand what I need.

Well, let me know when she returns.

My housekeeper went back home for five days now.

I don't know what to do.

What about your wife?

I had one. Until 15 years ago.

So you are single now?

It's nice not to worry about anything. Except for cleaning.

It's depressing to go back home where the dirt is piling up.

Hey, would you like me to clean your house?

YOU?

- L'm not sure about that. - Why?

Well, I know a guy who married a girl who worked in the bar.

But she didn't clean. She couldn't cook.

They had to eat out every night. He said it was too much for him.

Then, I need to prove it to you that you are wrong.

So, where is your apartment?

A memo pad.

Here.

What's wrong?

My stomach hurts.

Suddenly?

I'm so sorry, but is it okay if I went home early today?

- It's that bad? - Yes.

Lately it's irregular.

I guess it's okay, then.

- Can you go home by yourself? - Yes, I'll be fine.

Mr. Mitsuda is quite a womanizer despite his looks.

But he's a typical miser.

He carries his bankbooks

and all the cash he has in that bag wherever he goes.

It's just for show. He won't give you a dime.

He showed you inside the bag, didn't he?

No.

Well, fine, then. ljust wanted to warn you, just in case.

- Be careful going home. - Thank you.

Here. Thank you for your business.

- Hey. Excuse me. - Yes?

- Can I have one? - Sure.

Thank you so much. Here.

- Can I have one more? - Sure. Thank you so much.

- Here. - Thank you for your business!

Please come again!

Sensei!

I didn't think you were coming.

- I followed you. - That doesn't sound good.

This way.

APARTMENT MANAGER

It costs a lot to hire someone these days.

So this whole place is yours?!

Something like that.

Come in.

Wow, it stinks like a men's room.

Oh, jeez! Look at this!

It's so messy.

Nice breeze!

Hilltop is so nice!

Do you have a shirt I can borrow?

Ashirt?

I can't clean in this! This is my important business attire.

Don't worry about cleaning. You can do it later. Come on.

Hey. Come on.

- Here! Can I borrow this? - Oh, come on.

I'm going to change, so wait outside. Hurry.

No peeking, please!

I'm ready now!

- Move over! I'm cleaning! - What are you doing?

Oh, no! I have to clean!

- Don't! I need it! - Oh, come on!

How much are you going to give me?

However much you want!

I love you so much!

I love the chikara udon. It gives me energy!

I love Beethoven.

It makes me excited just listening to it!

This is not Beethoven. It's Chopin.

Can you play your song?

Let me join you for the chikara udon before that.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

That was really good.

What's wrong?

More stuff I need to clean.

I'll take care of it, so just come over here!

Sensei?!

What's wrong?! Come on!

Sensefl

Ambulance! Ambulance!

Hello? Can you send an ambulance over here?

An elderly man has collapsed.

Yes. The address here is...

Hello? It's 6-461 Higashi-Kitazawa Nishi,

Setagaya-ku. Yes.

His name is Kazuo Mitsuda.

Yes. It's inside the apartment units.

Yes. Thank you so much!

Sensei! Sensei!

Thank you for coming this late.

I was shocked when I read it in the evening newspaper.

He was doing so well!

Please see him for one last time.

Thank you for the wait.

Thank you for your business.

Good morning!

I'm so sorry for being late.

- Yoshie Ogawa? - Yes.

Would you come to the station with us?

Come on. Don't cause us any more trouble.

Where are the dentures?

Say it, you will feel better.

Hey! Say something!

Calm down.