The House on Tombstone Hill (Dead Dudes in the House)

- Three and a half hours in that car.

We could have left earlier, now it's almost night.

Will you stop complaining.

Geez, what a great trip.

This way we're here bright and early,

ready to go to work tomorrow.

- Why doesn't that sound appealing to me?

- Hey man, you really put a down payment on this thing.

It's just a fix it up.

Besides they practically gave it away.

- Yeah maybe there's a reason for that.

- I don't think it looks that bad.

Yeah I love old houses.

They make me feel like I'm in another time.

- Everybody I think it's a smart move.

Hey, Steve thinks it's a smart move.

Well if you think it's a smart move Steve,

then we all know it's definitely a bad move.

- Are you guys gonna start already?

- Just replace some boards and some windows

and give it a nice paint job, and it'll look great.

Oh it's that easy huh?

- Hey Mark I think you made a good choice.

Place looks like it has a lot of potential.

- Well come on, let's take a look around.

- Hey Mark, you could put a vegetable garden over here.

No, no, he doesn't want to spend

any more money than he has to.

- How much could a stupid vegetable garden be?

- You want vegetables, honey, you've got it.

Hey, yo, come here you guys.

Check this out.

What is it?

I don't know.

I think an old tombstone.

There's no date on it. - That's creepy.

What's it say?

Abigail Leatherby, surviving is one daughter Ann,

may her soul be placed in peaceful hands.

- Well let's clear the garbage out now.

God man.

What're you?

What the Hell'd you do that for?

- Yeah you idiot, you should have just left it alone.

- Bob, if it bothered you so much we

could have just covered it up with something.

- Hey what's the big deal anyway?

It was just a stupid old rock.

You should have some respect.

You really shouldn't have touched it.

- Sometimes you are such a creep, Bob.

Maybe you won't grow up, man.

Yeah right.

Hey guys look at this.

What is it?

It looks like a noose.

Hmm, it's up there pretty good.

Looks a little used.

Hey it's all ready to use.

Any volunteers?

I volunteer you.

- What's the matter, man, no quick comeback.

Hey, Shut up, man. - Hey.

- Now where do you suppose it came from?

- Ah, it's probably just some kids messing around.

Yeah most likely is right.

Maybe not.

- Yeah, where else would it have come from?

You never know. - Yeah right.

I'd hate to die by hanging.

Okay, let's, let's cut it down.

- Guys let's do it later, it's getting late.

Let's start get started on the house.

- I wonder what the inside looks like?

- If it looks anything like the outside,

it's gonna take years to fix up.

Well I think I need my first beer.

- We haven't even started working yet.

- Hey, I got a have one, all right?

You want open up the cooler.

- Well we didn't bring any beer anyway.

I'm sorry, I guess I should've bought some.

You're putting me on.

You got to have beer.

- They're not putting you on,

they didn't bring any.

- Don't you know that a carpenters tools

are his hammer, nails, and beer.

Here, Joey, go to the place we passed

a few miles back and get a case, all right?

- Hey, yo, Big Time, this isn't enough.

- Why don't you just give it up for one day.

- I have to have it to work, all right?

Here, man, let me try.

Let me try.

It'll go, it'll go.

- Do you mind if I try? - Don't worry, I got it.

I think you might break it.

Why don't you just give me the key.

Let the pro do it, okay.

- Let's see, these old doors always stick.

That used to happen

with our door downstairs all the time.

- Maybe it's trying to tell you people something.

- No, you just have to treat it gently.

- What a dump. - This place is a mess.

What, it's not that bad.

Besides the lady said some guy bought it

a while back and started fixing up, so we're halfway there.

What happened to him?

She didn't say, he just left.

- It really looks a lot worse than it is.

You just got to take it room by room.

Before you know it, it'll look great.

- That's a nice rug, I wonder if it's an antique.

- Mark, this place is gonna cost a fortune.

- I never said it was in the best condition.

Forget about it.

I can tell you right now this place is shot.

A real optimistic attitude.

Do you have to smoke?

- I always smoke a cigarette before a big job.

It's a ritual with me.

- So where do we start?

Hey knock it off.

Hey, you want to knock it off?

" Me'?

Yeah, Steve.

The whistling?

Yeah, the whistling.

It's only whistling.

It's bothering me.

- How can that whistling be bothering you.

- Because it's annoying and I don't like it, so cut it out.

Hey can you get the other two sawhorses

out of the truck for me? - Yeah, sure, no problem.

Hey Steve, Jamie, wanna give me a hand?

- You know, Mark, there should be a cheaper way

to make this house look good.

Yeah, I've got some great ideas.

- Man you shouldn't make such a big deal out of nothing.

The guy was only whistling.

- Do we have to keep talking about it.

I just didn't feel like hearing it.

I'm sure there's been times when somebody whistling

a stupid song would annoy you too.

Not yet, no.

- Yeah well, let's not talk about it

and get started, all right?

Come on, damn it. - Could I see that?

Thanks. - You're welcome.

- Hey, Bob, where's the plug for this?

- It doesn't need a plug, it runs on batteries.

If it needed a plug it wouldn't work.

I doubt this house has any power at all.

- Yes it does, a light is on over there.

Well maybe it does.

- Do you know how to use that thing?

Not really.

Here, let me show you. - Thanks.

- Hey, Bob, where do you want these.

- You can just set those over there.

Place looks better already, huh?

- Yeah, I'll really start to work when I get my beer.

- These things are heavier than they look.

Hey, man, I thought you told me

this place doesn't electric?

That's right, it doesn't.

- Well tell that to the light over there.

- Hmm, some wires must have moved around or something.

- I've got an electrician coming tomorrow.

He'll take care of the whole thing.

- It's my brother, he works very fast.

He's going to rewire the whole place.

Yeah, I hope he does a good job.

There's a lot of idiot electricians

running around out there.

No he's one of the best.

Oh fantastic.

What the Hell happened?

Did anybody see what happened?

No we were just standing here.

Great, just great.

How'd she get in here?

- She probably busted a lock on the back door.

Can we help you?

- If she doesn't stop staring at us,

I'm gonna go over there and smack her.

- Excuse me, ma'am, I don't know who you are

or how you got in here but I'm afraid gonna have to leave.

She is creepy looking.

Why doesn't she speak.

- Ah, she probably can't hear us too well.

Hey, lady, you're not supposed to be in here.

You have to get out, you understand?

See, simple as that.

I'm gonna make sure she leaves.

- Hey, do you want me to go with you?

- No, no, you stay here, I'll be back in a second.

I don't believe this.