The Gentleman Thief

Can I have a sip of water, please?

I cannot begrudge you taking pleasure in a petty victory.

After all, when should you give anything away for free in this world?

I'll tell you what.

I'll pay you for a sip of water.

$50,000.

You're not paying anyone shit.

Well, that's my offer.

You're welcome to decline, but then I'll have to kill you.

What's your name?

Why?

I just want to know the name of the first man I'll kill with my own hands.

Shut the fuck up.

Okay

Abel.

Sweetheart, my nectar.

So nice to see you, baby.

Do you bring me the cash?

Of course.

You see this?

$50,000.

You thought it was going to be bigger?

Nah, this stack of papers isn't that impressive at all.

But I think it would have been a fair price for a sip of water.

I brought you something.

Oh, you are very thoughtful.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, Abel.

What?

Not the head.

Why not?

It's too quick.

OK.

Stomach.

Death assured, but it takes much longer.

Very painful.

What's your name?

Alex.

OK.

Thanks for the water, Alex.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I have a surprise for you.

You know I hate surprises.

You're not going to hate this one.

I found him.

Mason Goddard.

Who else?

I've been waiting for this day.

Thank you.

Let's go!

What a shithole.

You hate golf.

What, you're a golfer now?

Well, it's my new hobby.

All by yourself?

Where is everybody?

Well, to be honest, they wouldn't allow me to be a member, so I bought it.

Now I'm the only member.

Something about my background check confused them.

You're a crazy motherfucker.

I love you.

Man, you're not an easy guy to find.

Yeah, it's almost like I wanted to be left alone, isn't it?

Well, you're not alone anymore.

Huh?

No, I'm not.

Come on, give me a tour.

I want to see this place. - Alright

It feels so appealing

Could dance on the ceiling Whistling a sweet serenade

Oh, boy

What?

This looks like the place of a guy who got dumped.

Amy did not dump me.

Amy and I are just taking a break, that's all.

Come on, Mason.

I'm your little brother.

You can't bullshit me.

It's all right.

It's over.

Cheers.

Oh, cheer.

Oh, that's a good toast.

Cheers to us breaking up.

Come on.

We need to get you back on your feet, Mason.

No.

No?

Nope.

Just no?

No.

Come on.

We need to get you out of the house, buddy.

Why?

Let me take you on a vacation.

I don't need a vacation, I got all this!

This?

Yeah.

I play 18 holes of golf.

I come back.

I have a nice drink.

I watch some TV.

It's good.

This place is fucking depressing, bro.

Oh, come on.

This is brutal.

Are you kidding me?

This is where you want to stay here?

Feature zone, Sean.

This is old school, man.

This is, you know, country club, dark green, you know, whiskey, Saturday night.

All right, fine.

Look.

At least let me take you out for a drink or something.

You go out.

You go get a drink.

I'm fine here.

Oh, boy.

We got a whole bar here.

Fine, fine.

We'll stay here.

We'll just stay in.

I don't mind.

So how have you been?

Yeah, I'm good.

It's been, you know, wasting time.

All right.

How about a game of chess?

Yeah, yeah, I can do that.

Let's do that.

I got a yes, huh?

Yeah.

Okay, but how about this?

If I win, then you let me take you on vacation.

You have never won against me at chess.

You never know.

It can happen.

Okay.

And if I win, you get the fuck out of here and leave me alone.

Deal?

Fine.

Okay, good.

Deal.

Deal.

Good.

Let's go.

All right.

Well, what do the little horsies do again?

Well, that's a knight.

And remember, it moves in an L shape.

Right, right.

I taught you that when you were eight.

Okay.

I heard Decker's been doing freelance bounty hunter work lately.

Oh yeah?

I'm sure she's good at it.

She's good at everything.

Oh, my boy.

You need to snap out of it, buddy.

I mean, it's over, okay?

Look, I love Decker.

I just can't ever quite forget the fact that she tried to put us all in prison.

That was her job, man.

Yeah, that's the problem, is you and me, we're made to steal stuff.

Her, she was made to put guys like us away.

It's not gonna happen, Sean.

I'm retired.

That's it.

Well, then you're gonna love this vacation.

Checkmate.

What?

How did you do that?

What did you do?

Did you switch somebody around?

Show me what that move was.

What did you do before that?

I was here, and I went here.

Look.

You have nowhere to go.

Bitch!

You've been practicing.

I've had a lot of time on my hands.

Oh, so you hustled me.

No, no, no.

We do this over again, because I didn't know about the practicing and the hustling.

We'll do it over again.

It's a deal's a deal.

We made a bet.

I won.

Time to pack your bags.

It's only a vacation?

For real?

Yeah, a vacation.

No bullshit?

It's a vacation.

I got it all set up.

It's gonna be beautiful.

Okay, where are we going?

Miami.