He Never Died

Oh, I...

Thank you. How you doing today, Jack?

What time is it?

It'll soon be 2:00. Yeah.

How about the day?

Excuse me?

What day is it?

It's the fourth!

Friday?

No, it's Tuesday.

All right.

Now you take care. I don't think you're...

Seven, six, five, four...

...for main engine start, main engine start.

America's first space shuttle, as the shuttle has cleared the tower.

Oh.

How long have I been asleep?

I don't know how I would know that?

Makes sense.

So, how've you been?

Yeah.

That look good to you?

Yeah.

Hey, I heard through the grapevine that, um, you used to work for Miller?

Okay.

Well, is that true?

No.

- Really? - Yeah.

Well, um, I just wanted to tell you...

that my internship is gonna be over in two weeks and...

I'll find another intern.

Where are you gonna find another intern?

Money... people like money.

Alrighty then, worked on me.

Oh yeah, I actually won't be able to do Thursday.

So, maybe we can connect tomorrow? You know, same time?

- Okay. - Thanks.

You know, discreet's the way to go.

The whole reason why I can't do Friday...

is my sister has this big orientation thing and you know, I gotta be...

Tomorrow!

Uh... uh...

Hey.

Hi.

How was your meeting with Jeremy?

Fine.

Wow... great.

Oh, okay... okay.

So...

you and Jeremy meet often?

Sometimes.

Oh, yeah, well, we're looking for him...

so maybe you should join us for a ride.

I'm okay.

Oh, yeah, you know what? That's not really an option.

- Don't. - What?

Oh...

Aw, my balls!

Huh.

Agh...

Hey, Jack.

Oh, my god, what happened to your hand?

And your eyes?

Um...

pepper spray.

Somebody maced you?

Yeah, mace.

Why?

It was an accident.

My landlord thought I was robbing my own apartment.

Really? Isn't your landlord, like, 90 years old?

Yeah, but she's spry.

And then, uh, I fell on a glass.

Hm, can I get you some ice for that?

No, I'm fine.

Um, do you know what you want to order?

Oatmeal.

- That's it? - Yeah.

Do you have anything on the agenda for later tonight?

Nothing... sleeping, so, no.

Um, something to drink?

Hot tea.

Right... okay.

Hello.

Jack? Is that you?

Gillian?

Why are you calling me, Gillian?

I remember hating you.

Shut the fuck up! I need you to go pick up Andrea...

before she gets into a car and...

Who's Andrea?

My kid... she came by your place earlier today.

I'm hanging up.

No, no, no, she just called from a pay phone...

and she said she's coming home soon.

I don't want to her driving drunk. You're the only guy around there I know.

Gillian, I don't know what you're talking about.

Andrea.

Repeating the name doesn't help.

Andrea, you dumb fuck, she said she saw you this afternoon.

Hello? Hello?

She was here.

I know. But she's out drinking now, because you said or did...

something that sent her up the fucking wall.

I opened the door and she ran off. That's it.

You fucked it up, Jack.

I don't even know what I did.

She just wanted to meet you.

Why?

Take a guess.

I hate you.

Fuck you, Jack.

Abortions cost about $300. You could afford one.

Just pick her up, please.

Where is she again?

Do you remember that bar, Crackles?

What do I do with her?

Just don't let her drive home drunk as shit.

She's got a habit of doing that. She's had her license suspended, she's...

Andrea's the name?

Yes, Jack, Andrea... Jesus Christ.

All right... never call me again.

Hi, there.

Have you seen a young lady with a lip ring in here today?

What does she look like?

A young lady with a lip ring.

You her dad?

She was here?

Yeah... you her dad?

Do you know where she is?

Are you her dad?

- Yeah. - Excuse me?

Yes, I'm her father.

- She left with Tim. - Who's Tim?

Hey!

Who's Tim?

He's a mailman.

Where is he now?

No idea.

Where does he live?

No... no idea.

What's his last name?

- Dell. - Dell?

Dell.

You're about 35.

What do you want?

Is Andrea there?

Ugh, fuck off!

Hold on.

Hi!

- Your mother called. - Oh.

You're intimidating.

Okay.

Nervous, it's a big thing for me. I have this thing with alcohol, actually.

I feel bad, because you probably were just worried...

Please stop. So you're fine?

- Yeah. - Then I'm leaving.

Don't die before you get to your mother's.

So, that's it?

Sure... I'm done.

Well, I feel like we should just... you know, um...

What?

Talk.

What do you want to do?

I could eat.

Oh, um... do you mind if I stay over?

So, what happened to your hand anyway?

Uh...

Someone shot me earlier today.

Seriously? Someone shot you? With a gun?

That's how you get shot.

Why?

I actually don't know.

Hey, I keep coming back here to.

Somebody' here with you. Hi, there.

Hello.

I just never seen you here with anyone else, so...

I'm Andrea.

Cara.

I think I want the eggplant parmesan.

- Does he come here a lot? - Oh, yeah, about everyday.

Wow... I guess that's...

Just visiting Dad.

Your dad?

Okay, so, you never mentioned a daughter.

Um, yeah, I don't know why.

Um, do you know what you want to order?

I want the eggplant parmesan.

I will have, chicken Caesar salad.

All right, I will be right back.

I, uh, don't have money, so...

Then how did you end up inebriated?

Vaginas are like coupon books for alcohol.

So, eggplant? Not chicken or veal?

I don't eat meat.

Really? You look like the kind of guy who'd eat meat every chance you'd get.

If it had blood, I don't eat it.

So, you're a vegetarian?

I guess.

Why? Bacon exists.