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Come on, baby.

Becky!

Darling, what is it?

I just heard the cat scream, Mummy.

That's all right, sweetheart. I'm here.

You're safe.

Just a nasty old dream.

Anyone? Yes.

Apes are covered with hair.

Hair? Well, we're all covered in hair.

Not as long maybe.

All right, so we're the naked ape.

Something more significant. A sociological difference.

Yes. - Intelligence?

Intelligence.

Well, this little fellow here

has been trained to communicate through a computer...

and he tested out with an IQ of around 85,

which is well within the human norm.

I venture to say it gives some of you a run for your money.

You three,

get the chimp out and bring him over here, would you?

All right, come on.

We've been studying anthropology for nearly a year.

Can no one give me a simple difference between a beast of the field

and what Shakespeare calls the paragon of animals?

Yes.

Man is the only species that makes war on his own kind.

No. It used to be fashionable to think that.

It was another way we had of torturing ourselves.

Except in 1979, in Tanzania,

Jane Goodall observed chimps hunting in groups

kidnapping, murdering, and even eating their own babies.

Up until then, we thought they were vegetarian.

And when a group of renegade males broke away from the tribe,

they were pursued relentlessly and killed one by one.

How's that for inter-tribal war?

Have we based all our beliefs about man and his relationship to the universe

on a hollow assumption?

Just as our three friends here

assume the only way to get a chimp out of a cage is by brute force.

Imp.

So, let me introduce Imp.

A six-year-old chimpanzee

whom I have taught to respect and obey me.

Right, Imp?

Which is important,

because as you've just seen demonstrated this morning,

he's got a will of his own.

And don't let his size fool you.

He's already strong enough to throw any one of you across the room.

Of course, he isn't very cultured.

He doesn't give a damn about the history of the world

or the state of the economy.

What he cares mainly about is bananas.

Yes, up there in the back.

Oh, I didn't have a question.

How about an answer, then?

Can you give me one simple difference

between this little fellow and us other apes up here?

Does it have something to do with civilization?

Civilization. Thank you.

At least someone here has been doing some reading.

Civilization is the...

Civilization is the subject of next week's lecture.

Dismissed. Come on, Imp.

Jane, can we talk? - I've got to see the doctor.

What, are you sick? Oh, Dr. Phillip.

I'll talk to you later. - I'll be in the union.

Okay.

Dr. Phillip?

Excuse me.

Dr. Phillip? - Yeah.

The notice in the union said you're looking for an assistant.

You're a girl.

Well, I know, but I'd really like the opportunity to work with you.

That's impossible.

Well, what about the laws against sexual discrimination?

You wouldn't mind getting the door for me, would you?

Hi there. - There you are.

What's this? - It's for the specimen.

If you'd read the notice carefully,

you'd have seen it wasn't for an assistant.

It was for volunteers.

You're paying for urine specimens? - Sperm.

Sperm specimens.

Oh. - American, are you?

Yes. I'm over here on a scholarship.

I've been here for about... - Damn!

Pigeons again, eh?

You've been very naughty.

What are you studying?

Zoology. - Oh.

Then you won't mind holding Imp.

Don't worry. You'll be perfectly safe while I'm here.

And what have you been up to, hmm?

Bloody things.

There. That should slow you down a bit.

There you go.

Little monster's been getting out at night.

He likes cats.

Why don't you get him one? - He likes to eat them.

Hmm. Don't you?

Well, Doctor, if you're not looking for an assistant,

I won't take up any more of your time. I'm sorry.

Have you attended more than one of my lectures?

Yes, my boyfriend's in the class.

And I've read Back to the Trees,

and I was interested to hear you in person.

Do you... cook, clean? Stuff like that?

Well, I'm female. I guess that gives me a genetic aptitude.

I have a house up the coast.

I could use a sort of... assistant during the holidays.

Can't pay much, though.

That's fine.

As I said, I would really just like the chance to work with you.

And I need to save some money.

Well, let's say, um, accommodation and board

and... £40 a week?

That's great.

Well, see my secretary tomorrow and fix up the details.

I'll see you in a few weeks, then. - Okay.

Bye.

That's your quarry over there.

I didn't realize it was this far out.

They'll be coming out here.

I want you to keep your eyes open for buggers,

'cause farmers are gonna shoot 'em on sight.

That wire meshing won't keep 'em, and it don't matter what they say.

Now, look! Down there! Look! See?

What? - Dogs!

How much do I owe you? - It's paid for.

If you want a taxi, here's a card.

Thanks. - You're welcome.

Mind them dogs now.

Okay.

"M." Mane.

A horse's hair.

"M." Maniac. A crazy man.

Dr. Phillip is expecting me.

"M." Manor. A large country house.

"M." Manx. A tailless cat.

"M." Many. A great number.

"M." Maple. A tree.

"M." Manure.

A horse's...

Oh, that's okay. I can...

Thank you.

This is nice.

Hello? - Is Dr. Phillip there?

Yeah, he's coming right now. Could you hold on?

Bailey here. - Okay.

Dr. Phillip. - What are you doing here?

You're not supposed to be here till tomorrow, the 15th.

Well, today is the 15th.

Don't even think about it!

Get back! Get back!

You're lucky she let you near the place.

15th today, is it?

Yeah. You sent the taxi driver.

So I did. Well...

welcome to Northfield Grange.

Get out of it!

I think he just wants a drink.

Taxi driver? - No, your chimp.

Oh, he just wants to get up your skirt.

I hope you brought some jeans or something.

Yeah. Well, do you really have to threaten to hit him like that?

Yeah, well, usually a threat's enough.

You just have to let them know they're forgiven afterwards.

Well, I used to babysit.

Babysit chimps, did you?

No, but I found that kindness works...

Ah, yes. But...

Imagine a baby in a temper

who's ten times stronger than you are.

Ten times?

Well, eight times.

Oh, Mr. Bailey's on the phone.

Bailey? Why didn't you say so?

And I'm telling you she's bloody useless.

She's aborted twice. - I thought she was what you wanted.

She was what I wanted.

But if she can't breed anymore, she's no good to me now.

It doesn't alter the fact that she's no good for my purposes now.

What am I supposed to do with her?

Well, sell her.

You're the man with the bloody contacts.

Yes, but if she won't breed...

You don't have to tell them that.

I could manage three grand.

What? I paid you twice that.

It's the best I can do.

Let's say... 3,500,

and...

you take care of the old boy as well.

He's not gonna give me a hard time?

No, no, he'll come quietly.

Be no trouble. - You sure?

Yeah. - I'll come out tomorrow.