Travel Guides AU

Tonight our travel guides say "aloha" to Hawaii.

These cowgirls can surf at Waikiki Beach.

With all its ups...

Oh, my god!

..and downs.

I just soiled my pants.

Will the culture and cuisine...

Here comes the pig. Let the porking begin!

..be to everyone's taste?

You can't eat that.

Obviously they don't know what T-bone is

when they're eating Spam out of a can.

They score a free trip...

Oh!

You sound like you've got a firecracker shoved up your clacker.

..and then score it out of five stars.

There's kids everywhere.

And why are they on holiday with us?

Two, three, let's mow down the kids.

Our guides are fleeing the country for a week in tropical Hawaii.

Anything to escape the cold weather. Yeah.

But the Fren family from Newcastle

are worried about their weight.

I don't know what you're going to do with all that stuff

'cause you can only have 23 kg.

Jonno, can you please help me out?

Why me? 'Cause you're lightest passer.

Shoes. You don't mind taking a few pairs of shoes.

When I think of Hawaii, I think of beaches, fun and sun.

Really? Because all I think of is heat and that does not agree with me.

Oh, my God.

Well, that's well under. Thank God.

You know you can take two at 32 kg.

Looks like we'll be able to do lots of shopping.

This is going to be my kind of holiday.

Aloha! Hi! How are you?

Good, how are you?

Outback twins, Stack and Mel, have their holiday agenda sorted.

First thing that come into my head when I come into Hawaii

was it's gonna be great weather

and we're smash beers all week, it's gonna be great. Yeah.

Aloha. Care for a beverage? Yes.

We have a Maui Bikini Blonde Beer, have you heard of it?

Oh, a Bikini Blonde.

Everything the Target boys know about Hawaii

comes from Disney movies.

I know 'ohana' which actually means family.

Yeah, you just got that... Ah! Ah!

You got that from 'Moana'.

It was 'Lilo & Stitch', Kevin.

Are we doing beers all around?

Yes, please. Awesome.

Kevin, drink it slow.

Our guides are winging their way to Honolulu

on the Hawaiian island of Oahu.

Each year more than 8 million bikini babes

and broad-shouldered blokes come to soak up sun and sip on a Mai Tai.

It's made the Aloha State one of America's most iconic holiday spots.

But is Hawaii really worth the hype?

Our guides have seven days to find out,

starting at the biggest resort on Waikiki Beach -

the Hilton Hawaiian Village.

This is what I call paradise.

I've just spotted a Friday barbecue buffet too.

Aloha beaches!

Shaka shaka!

It's this way.

I can't even do it. This way.

Welcome to the Hilton Hawaiian Village.

Hello. Hello.

Jonathan, it was your first lay in Hawaii or in any place.

Oh, oh my God.

Oh! You're kidding me?

Newlyweds Depeche and Sage...

I haven't seen anything like this before.

..haven't holidayed together anywhere much more exotic than Geelong.

Coming to Hawaii, it will be our second honeymoon.

A tropical one.

We've been married for a bit over a year.

We met online on RSVP.

We both are from India, so yeah we call Australia home now.

We are definitely living the Aussie dream,

we have a mortgage, we have a backyard.

Yeah. Yep.

The rule of IT is always read the manual.

I'm an IT Project Manager.

Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa!

I work in childcare.

This is the best toy I've ever had.

We haven't travelled that much together.

How many days do you think we are going for?

Our dream holiday would be beach, sun, sand,

especially because we live in...

Imagine waking up to this.

It had the beach, the lagoon,

the mountain, anything you could imagine

in Waikiki was right in front of our eyes.

This is a proper honeymoon.

It is a honeymoon.

We have been here so many times but we've never stayed...

No... in this one. A lot of people have.

I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah, me too.

Between the two of us we have probably been to Hawaii

15, 16 times but I haven't been here for 20 years.

This is such a big hotel.

I know, it's 3000 rooms or something, it's enormous.

Never stayed in a resort with 3000 rooms before.

It is about 2600 too many.

The resort could almost be the 51st US state,

with six towers, 20 nosheries, and 100 shops.

What colour are we going to get?

I'm loving the yellow. Yellow.

We got the Hawaiian vibe straight away.

There's 2XL for you.

I don't need 2XL! You do.

You do. XL out for you, Jonno.

Yeah. And I'll get the small.

Yeah.

I do know that most families get matching Hawaiian shirts,

but those are kids wearing the matching shirts not adults.

We're big kids.

Yes, Dad acts like a big kid.

Kids and kidults descend on the resort's saltwater lagoon

that's the size of three footie fields...

Shotgun middle. Shotgun middle. Shotgun middle?

Can all three fit? Cannot fit.

..and there are plenty of toys to go round.

Us boys love a bit of watersports.

You can't even swim! What do you mean you like watersport?

I like water.

Me and Dorian like watersport.

You know how hard it is to steer?

This is one of the hardest things to do.

So sorry. Asians can't drive!

I was just trying to not hit all the little kids.

I was trying to jump in front of my waterbike.

You're about to crash into an island.

Turn, turn! I am!

No, no, no, turn, turn!

Ah! Oh sh...

Instead of being a bad person running over the kids

I sacrificed us and ran into the island.

You're a very brave man. Thank you.

I was actually meant to go the other way.

Trying to work out how to paddle it.

That was a blonde moment.

Then you've got to try and steer this thing with your hands.

We're not in much control here.

Keep peddling. Go, that way. Go that way!

You don't feel as bad if you wipe out an adult

but you feel really bad if you wipe a child out.

So you're going to run over the child?

Hang on, kiddo, I wouldn't do that.

Kids are like sand, they get in the smallest of cracks

and you just can't get them out of your hair.

Kevin and Janetta prefer their blue lagoons in a glass.

I have a bit of a pupu for you.

Let me take those menus out of the way.

A bit of a what? Pupu.

Pupu. It's pupu.

Oh! That's the worst appetiser.

I think appetiser is a better word than a pupu.

We really shouldn't pooh-pooh the...

We didn't pooh-pooh anything. We didn't pooh-pooh the pupus.

Are you ready for a pupu?

It think there's probably a bit of that round here with all the kit.

Sometimes when you're travelling all you want really is a good pupu.

This thing has the fin, it's supposed to be the back.

Stand-up paddle boarding was invented in Hawaii.

But is it best left to the locals?

Come on, sit, sit, sit! Come on.

Sit! Ready? Yeah.

We thought paddle boarding looked easier

because even kids were doing it.

He was preposterous up there, couldn't even balance for a minute.

Come on, push!

The stand-up paddle boarding became the lie down paddle boarding for us.

That's a good idea, baby.

Bye bye! Bye bye!

I've got it, I've got it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yep. Yep.

Ouch!

Just like you'd expect,

everything is bigger and better in Hawaii.

Quick run, my feet are burning. Run.

It wasn't off to a great start.

Right, get your balance.

It was like standing on a jumping castle.

I'm winded.

Oh... my god.

People on the beach were holding up cards.

Victoria, nine, 10.

Perfect dismount.

I just saw what you had for breakfast.

Coming up... 'Jurassic World'!

Oh my god!

..one epic adventure to rule them all.

I never thought I'd see that in my life.

That is outstanding.

Plus...