Superstore

Make sure the negotiator pushes for maternity leave.

That's important... and holiday pay.

Here, to remind you.

It's all in the union proposal,

so I don't think I'll need a reminder.

Huh, cinnamon.

I'm intrigued by the non-peppermints.

Where is Sandra?

Are you sure she's really coming?

Maybe you should just leave without her.

They said bring two store reps.

Plus, she yelled "dibs" so loud at that meeting.

Oh, Jonah, little negotiating tip...

walk away so they know re serious.

When I bought my Corolla,

I hid in the bathroom for hours.

I will keep that in my back pocket.

- You're so nervous right now. - Yeah. No, I know.

I just don't want them to screw us

and leave us with no contract.

Hey, you didn't even think that they

would sit down with us, but they did,

so obviously they're scared.

Relax. I honestly think this is all gonna work out.

God, you really do, don't you?

So annoying.

Look, I really wish that you could be there with us,

and I promise to text you updates as soon as I can.

Yes, please, even if it's bad news, it's okay.

And it might be good news, in which case I'd be shocked,

but, you know, happy, obviously.

Sorry I'm late.

Jerry had never seen me in a blazer,

so the morning got a little busy.

Cool.

Some of this stuff seems too nice to be in clearance,

like "Ottawa's Tallest Buildings."

No, this junk needs to go in the trash.

Nobody's buying it.

More like no one's selling it.

Does anyone remember when I worked here?

Carts overflowed.

Now I'm stuck watching you guys blob around all day

while I waste my talents in the vision center.

- Helping people see? - I know. A dog can do it.

No one moved product like me back at Sturgis & Sons.

I even got a plaque that said, "Dad's Number One Sales Boy."

I'm sure you were good, like, back in the old days,

but I'm just saying, in modern times,

I was the best salesperson in the store.

I think I might still have some moves left in me.

In fact, on a good blood-sugar day,

I might even be better than you.

Okay, Glenn.

Why don't we pick out items for each other?

And if you sell yours first,

I'll take over your bathroom trash duty for three months.

Okay, I'm in.

You know what? I'm in, too.

Somebody's been putting

what may or may not be dog poop in that trash,

and I'm gonna let one of you guys

figure out the mystery.

What's up with the tree?

We doing a dystopian nightmare Christmas this year?

No, some raccoons just went HAM

on it in storage.

Oh, hey, so are Jonah and Sandra there?

Yep, he's looking for a parking spot right now.

Stand by. Stand by.

Okay, great. He's got one.

You doing okay with all this?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm totally fine. Why?

I just thought it'd be tough for you.

I mean, I know you like being in control,

and in this case, someone so close to you

gets to be there, and it's like,

"Is he gonna come through?"

But I'm glad I'm wrong.

What happened to this tree?

Oh, seems like some raccoons definitely had sex in it...

or with it.

Georgia, hi.

Jonah Simms from Store 1217.

Oh, so good to meet you in person.

You look just like you sound.

Yeah, I-I get that a lot for some reason.

Um, Georgia is kind of a legend.

She's won, like, a dozen union contracts.

Really, it's amazing work that you're doing.

- Thank you. - Please.

I talk for a living. You guys do real work.

And I plan to get you paid for it.

Well, it's about time,

'cause they've pushed us around for too long.

They just kept pushing and pushing,

and they're about to find out what happens

when I get to the edge.

I'm passionate, too. It just manifests differently.

- Zap and wear sweater. - Mm.

"Microwavable for up to nine minutes of piping-hot comfort."

Oh. Easy. I'll sell the hell out of this.

Well, Glenn, I have found your item right here.

- Oh. - It's either a pig-shaped shoe

or a shoe-shaped pig.

It has a handle but no spout.

This is a bad thing.

- No problem. - Well, Garrett,

you'll be working with this Tony Danza popcorn machine.

Oh, okay, well, at least mine serves a purpose.

This pops "Tony Danza brand popcorn cartridges only."

Cartridges not included."

Hey.

How's Jonah doing out there? Crushing it?

God, you ever look at that guy and get so proud,

you have to look away?

Well, all I know so far is that he's got parking.

There's probably just nothing else to report.

I mean, in which case he could have said, "Nothing to report,"

but he didn't, and that's fine.

Don't worry. If he texts me first, I'll download you.

Amy, what's the scoop on the poop?

- Nothing yet. - But we'll let you know.

I will let you know. He's gonna text me first.

Cool, we'll just get a text tree going.

Jonah texts whichever one of us... gut says me.

It's not gonna be you. I've seen his favorites.

- You're not in there. - What?

Nice, Amy.

Guess who's gonna be cleaning this up all afternoon.

Come on, buddy.

I look at these chumps,

I see breakfast, lunch, dinner.

Is your chair a little bit low?

Is it? Hang on.

What are you...

- I think it's... - Just make it come back.

- It won't do it. It's... - Morning, folks!

- So then you sit up. - Sorry I'm late.

Ah, some, uh... some pretty big numbers

in this proposal of yours.

- 100% premium coverage? - We think that's fair.

Correct.

The workers have voted

to make health care priority one.

- Right... right, Sandra? - Yep.

I mean, I applaud you for trying,

but we're not paying 100% of premiums.

Okay, maybe a more workable number is 70%.

- Hmm. - Yeah?

Uh, all the way down to 70%? Just...

Yeah, I think this one's broken.

So any word from Jonah?

Good negoshe, bad negoshe?

Nope, not yet. Still early.

I'll bet they're blowing it.

Okay, I'm gonna go check on that.

Need any help with whatever this is?

Okay, I know what you're thinking.

It looks great. It just needs lights.

Ooh, Amy, how's union stuff going?

I know what you know, Janet, which is nothing!

But when there is news, I, uh... well, I'll tell you first.

Whoa, you're, like, rich-lady tense right now.

I know. I'm just trying not to worry about it,

but then people just keep asking me about it,

which is making me worry about it, and...

Actually, I really need to get out.

Um, how about I go buy us a Christmas tree?

Because this isn't one.

Great. I'll warm up the truck. Cheyenne, let's go.

No, you guys don't have to come with me.

Oh, we absolutely do.

I mean, I love this girl,

but she is just the kind of sucker

to pay through the nose for a Douglas fir

and then come back with an eastern white pine.

It's true, Amy. You totally would.

Okay, fine, whatever. Let's just go.

This tree farm has a huge selection,

so let's talk game plan.

We're looking for blue-green color,

conical shape, short needles.

Don't be afraid to give it a few kicks.

That's legally well within your right.

What about that one?

Oh, yeah. That one's perfect.

What? Wait, no, no.

Guys, we can't just... That's a tree!

Like, a tree tree!

And if you have any problems,

my man Tony's email is right here on the box.

Check it out.

- Well... - Sorry to intrude.

But you have the exact same physique as my friend Chris.

- Would you mind trying this on? - Sure.

- No problem. - Thank you.

I don't remember you ever talking

about a friend named Chris.

Oh, he just moved here. He's an archaeologist.