Gintama°

Snack Otose

Tama's request: Please watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.

To err is human,

but so, too, is to repent for those mistakes

and learn from them.

Tama-chan!

I'll be frank and apologize.

Thanks for listening to my confession.

No problem. Take good care of your wife.

Hey, Yosaku!

If you're done, then scram already!

There's a line waiting here!

Tama-chan, listen to my confession next!

You just want to have a chat with her, don't you?

Like you're one to talk!

Hey, what's all this racket?

Is she giving consultations or something?

It looks more like a confessional booth.

She was only lending an ear to whining drunkards at first.

Perhaps they found it easier to spill the beans to a machine.

Now I don't know if this is a snack bar or a church.

But aren't you getting more customers thanks to that?

Nah, they're all more interested in confessing than drinking alcohol.

Tama-chan!

I hereby swear never to drink alcohol again!

We're even getting people like him.

Listen up, you louts!

This is a mecca for old men to partake in alcohol and wholesome debauchery.

If you're not interested in me, then get the hell outta here!

Tama-sama, being too risque is a sin too, isn't it?

Not to worry.

You aren't the least bit risque.

Just grotesque.

Who are you calling Dr. Gero?!

Want me to marry you off to Krillin, you damn artificial human?!

Well, I don't really mind, if being of help to people makes Tama happy.

That won't do, Gran.

I've heard your confession.

Leave your repentance to me.

Amen

Um, Gintoki-sama...

Robokko's Confessional

What is this?

Rejoice. You have your own shop now.

Listen to confessions here from now on.

1000 yen per confession!!

Would you like to repent for your sins?

Complete privacy guaranteed. All confessions heard will be deleted from memory.

Are you telling me to turn it into a business? I can't take money for this.

No problem.

20% of the revenue will go to Gran as rent,

and 80% will go to me as compensation for my assistance.

Gintoki-sama, a different problem has popped up now.

Don't get the wrong idea.

I just want to help you fulfill your dream of being of use to humans.

With this, the people who confess to you will gain salvation.

And so will you, for being of use to them.

And lastly, so will my finances.

Everybody wins.

I think that last person is beyond salvation.

Robokko's Confessional

Anyway, you simply have to do what you've always done here.

But...

Don't worry. If you run into trouble, I'll be standing by in back to help you.

So go break a leg.

O-Okay.

Who would've thought there was such a great way to make money?

I repent the fact

that I was running a worthless business like Odd Jobs until now.

Uh, excuse me.

Oh, someone's here already.

I'd like to remain anonymous, if possible.

Oh, rest assured.

Your face isn't visible from here,

and your voice has been altered using that special mic.

That's a relief.

In that case, could you listen to my confession?

He must be around fifteen or sixteen.

Teenage boys do worry about the most pointless things.

I've committed a huge sin.

I'm undergoing my apprenticeship at a certain place,

but the boss there is a piece of shit.

Yeah, that happens to everyone.

Even though he works me to death,

he doesn't pay me on time,

he's stingy, shady,

and his feet are stinky.

Yeah, that guy sounds pretty shitty.

Does someone that awful really exist?

So the other day, I got kinda mad

and threw the mop while cleaning his room,

only to have it hit one of his treasures and break it.

Lady Robokko,

will my sin be forgiven?

Gintoki-sama?

There's no need to apologize for that.

Such a piece of shit deserves to have all his stuff destroyed.

The heavens declare that you are blameless,

and that your shitty boss will be subject to divine punishment.

I see. That sounds about right.

I mean, he's always putting me through hell.

Then, as much as it hurts me to do this,

it's already broken, anyway.

Why would you buy the weather reporter's figurine?

For an adult, that's way too creepy!

Here's your divine punishment!

Thank you.

Amen.

Amen.

Uh, what is that?

Looks like a figurine of Ketsuno Ana.

Oh, is that so?

For such a shitty boss, he sure has good taste.

All right. Let's keep this up.

Okay.

Anybody else?

Um...

I came from space to marry into the human race,

but my husband's a runny piece of shit.

He doesn't work or provide for the family,

is stingy, shady, has stinky feet and stinky feces.

Hey, isn't she talking about the shitty boss from earlier?

No.

This one's not a piece of shit. He's a runny piece of shit.

So the other day, I got kinda mad

and tried to doodle on his face while he was asleep,

but then a mop came flying at me...

Isn't that the mop from earlier?

The piece of shit really was the runny piece of shit!

So I broke the mop in two,

only for one half to pierce his figurine,

and the other to pierce the runny piece of shit himself.

Huh? Is he all right?

Is the runny piece of shit still alive?

But he just kept sleeping, so I left him that way.

You don't think that's because he slipped into eternal sleep?!

Lady Robokko, will my sin be forgiven?

Isn't this murder?

Nope.

All she did was kick the feces lying on the street to the side.

I bet that's made Edo a little bit cleaner.

The heavens are overjoyed by your actions.

There's sure to be blessings headed your way.

Really?

The mop's still lodged in him. Is that really okay?

It's fine. Leave it stuck in him.

That's his cross

to bear.

That's a relief.

Amen.

Amen?

Gintoki-sama?

Gintoki-sama, are you all right?

Wh-What do you mean?

I'm perfectly fine!

Really?

What about the mop stuck to your backside?

Huh? Mop?

Robokko's Confessional

Indeed. It was stuck there from the moment I met you today.

Is that so?

I figured I shouldn't stick my nose where it doesn't belong,

considering the mop was already stuck pretty deep.

Huh?

Oh, you mean this?

Rather than sticking into my butt, it was sticking out of it!

I mistook the mop for yakisoba yesterday and ate it, you see.

Really?

Really! Don't get the wrong idea!

It's got nothing to do with the mop mentioned in those confessions, okay?

I know that.

Yeah, they're not related at all.

Everybody loves Ketsuno Ana,

and I'm sure everyone's had a mop stab their ass without knowing it, once or twice.

It couldn't have been them!

Sure, their chins seemed familiar,

but save for Inoki, all of mankind has similar chins.

It's all good!

I'm sure my Ketsuno Ana's fine,

and that my ketsunoana's fine, too!

I'm overthinking this!

Anybody else?

There's a chin more recognizable than Inoki's!

They wish to remain anonymous, apparently.

There's basically no point to anonymity here!

Allow me to translate.

"I'm a certain someone's pet,

but my owner's an unbelievable piece of diarrhetic shit."

Why is his stomach getting worse and worse?

"He doesn't feed me properly or take me on walks,

and he has stinky feet. Also, he has stinky feet.

And to top it all off, he has stinky feet."

The stinkiness of his feet is all that's left now!

"So the other day, I got kinda mad

and went to take a dump on his face while he was asleep,

but it was runnier than expected and

sprayed all the way to my friend mopping up the room."

What the hell were you guys doing to that piece of diarrhetic shit?

"That made my friend slip and throw the mop,

which another friend broke in half.