Workaholics

All right, pledges, drunk and loud.

When I say "chug," you say "beer!"

Chug! All: Beer!

Chug! All: Beer!

Now chug those beers!

- Yeah! - Whoo!

Say, that was a solid chant, right?

Probably a frat guy. Why were we never in frats?

I know, I've heard so many cool rumors,

like frat guys just have boink fests with frat girls.

That's not a rumor, man, that's true.

- Really? - Yeah.

I was gonna be in a frat,

but then I decided it wasn't for me

after they told me that it wasn't for me.

They made it pretty clear, actually.

Last call. This is last call for drinks.

What? Come on! All: Boo!

Dudes, we should have an after-party.

Yeah, get the frat house to that house.

- What does that mean? - What are you talking about?

- Our house. - Oh, our house, okay.

You need to explain yourself better.

Yeah, I was just rhyming and then...

Can we do this?

And I know how to invite them in a super cool fashion.

- It's a party chant. - Yes!

Pledges!

When I say, "after-party,"

you guys say, "15... 20 Hallman Street."

Yeah, yeah, and then I'm gonna just add on to that

when I say, "should we bring our swimsuits?"

You say, "well, yeah, weather permitting."

- But do, because it's nice out. - Right, right.

I'm... I'm...

Guys, when I say, "what should we bring?"

You say, "beer and booze."

- It's a party. - Yeah.

When I say "after-party," if you could say,

"15...0-2-0 'Hal-man' Stree..."

is it "Hal-man," or is it Hallman?

- Hallman! - It doesn't matter.

You just go down two blocks and take a left.

Uh, so, guys, just keep on raging,

and we'll have the electricity back on in no time.

What the hell, man?

You didn't pay the electricity bill.

I didn't pay the electricity bill?

You didn't pay the electricity bill.

- It was your turn. - It was my turn?

It was my turn. Damn it!

- Yes. - Well, where's the booze?

Where's the booze? You mean my daddy's vermouth?

That's the only booze we have, man.

Nobody wants to drink vermouth, all right?

That's like dirty, old man, anal leakage water.

But it's booze.

Someone pooped in the shower again!

Was it you? Is that why you left?

This girl, I think, pooped in the shower.

- That's why she's leaving. - Adam, you told me

you pooped in the shower, like, three days ago.

I don't wanna argue with you right now, okay, Blake?

Somebody pooped in the shower. It's a dilemma.

Well, everybody's leaving. W... do something, Ders, come on.

Do s... What do you want me to do?

- I don't know. - Here, okay, entertainment.

- You want entertainment? - Where you going?

Hey, guys, no power, so we can't watch a DVD,

but what if we acted one out?

- All: Ooh! - Kindergarten Cop.

- Ooh, I'm a little kid! - You're a little kid?

I'll be... Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And I'm like, it's not a dog. It's a ferret.

Who is that? Who is that?

- I'm Arnold. - That's Arnold?

No, that's not Arnold. That was a frenchman.

Look, and everybody's leaving

'cause you can't even do an Arnold impression.

- Dominic! - Oh, where is everybody going?

The party's over, man. We don't have any power.

Yeah, and we're all out of booze.

Yeah, and I pooped in the shower, or someone did.

'Cause I'm not willing to admit that it was me.

- This sucks. - I got this.

All right, everybody, get back in the house!

Party's back on!

We're about to take a trip to the third world.

If you got a half-finished brew,

that's a child soldier.

Pour it in this bowl right here.

We're about to make some savage jungle juice!

- Oh, snap, that case of vermouth? - Yeah.

Into the bowl!

- I got it. - You got any kool-aid?

Mask the taste, give it some color?

- I got some crystal light. - Yeah, I bet you do, bitch.

Ooh!

All right, all right.

He's a bitch. He is a bitch.

Okay, as your tribal chief,

let me state the laws of the jungle.

You need to go to the bathroom, piss outside.

You need light, bust out your torch.

And if you wanna get smacked on some of this jungle juice,

you gotta go National Geographic!

That's right. Tops off!

Tops off. Cool!

- Who wants a cup? - I do.

- I'd love one. - Let's go!

Yeah.

- Hell, yeah! - We'll have some of that juice.

- Tops off. - Tops off.

Oh, my God!

Are frat chicks as crazy as they say?

Fraternity brothers and sorority chicks

are all machines, dude. We're built for speed.

That's, like, a dream of mine. I wanna be a machine.

Like, I would like to be a sybian, I dream of that.

Wait, you guys. That's, like, really good.

- It's not bad, right? - It is.

Oh! You not hear my rule, you peasant?

You want a cup? Nat Geo.

I'm all set, thanks.

Hey! You think you're better than this chick?

That the rules don't apply to you?

She wanted a cup, so she popped her top.

Party rules apply to everyone.

So I suggest you nip out...

Or ship out.

Just nip out, man. Don't ship out.

You guys cool with that?

Go on, bro. You got this, come on.

Well, I got boobs too, man. It's whatever.

Come on, everybody.

Let's get a beat going, like our ancient ancestors!

Dude, who are you?

I'm... Ron... burgundy?

- - Are you?

Oh, I'm just messing with you, lego head.

I go by Stan. Stan halen, 'cause my real name sucks.

What?

I go by Adam Dave Matthews Band.

Okay, whatever. Hey!

You guys like oakleys?

- I'm a sales rep. - Dude!

- One for you. - Seriously?

Skip you. One for you.

It's a sick job, I stack crazy bank.

Now let's get this party back off track!

All: Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan!

- - Fore!

Anders! 'Sup, you lego head?

- Ahh! - Ow.

Blake!

Carrot top, more like carrot bottom.

- - Hey!

Like he takes it up the butt.

Oh, hey. You're here?

I probably look like I take it up the butt too, right?

No, man, you're fine.

Come on, dudes! Bar golfing day!

Sunday fraternity tradition.

You're cool, dude.

I happen to have all-time legend status

over at kappa zeta nu, aka "the zoo."

Not bad.

Initiation night's coming up,

and I can probably get you dick slaps in,

depending on how cool you are.

- Are you serious? - We're cool, man.

- We're so cool. - We're cool.

What do we have to do?

You just have to prove that you animals belong in the zoo.

Now suit up!

We're about to tee off for the U.S. bropen.

Oh, that sounds fun.

I've got that Happy Gilmore, like, hockey putter thing.

- Oh, classic movie! - Yeah.

- It is. - "The price is wrong, bitch!"

"A warm glass of a-shut the hell up!"

"Why don't you go to your home?"

That's my favorite part.

You gotta get that club.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, uh...

Oh, you know what, I think it might be at the office.

Or is it in the 'Vo? Have you guys...

- Hey! - I don't know.

Drink while you think.

- That's my main rule. - Cool rule.

All right!

I already drank all mine, man.

Mm.

Like, the whole time I'm thinking?

You didn't stop thinking, did you?

Okay.

Rules make drinking so fun.

Fore!

Oh, here we are!

18th hole, pussies!