Psychomagic, a Healing Art (Psychomagie, un art pour guérir)

Psychoanalysis was created by Sigmund Freud,

a neurologist.

It is rooted in science.

Psychomagic was created by Alejandro Jodorowsky,

a film and theatre director.

It is rooted in art.

Psychoanalysis is a therapy through words.

Psychomagic is a therapy through acts.

Psychoanalysis prevents the therapist

from touching the patients.

Psychomagic invites the therapist

to touch the people who consult him.

This form of healing beyond words

was born to me fifty years ago

in the form of initiatory massages.

Here is the first of my initiatory massages,

mother and father of psychomagic.

When I decided to invent an art to heal,

I jumped out of my prison, as if out of an ivory tower,

and entered the pain of the world.

I used a humble set of Tarot cards as an instrument.

I did not read the future

but the present.

When I began to read the present of people,

the problems of family fell onto me.

There are repetitions of problems of two, three, four, five generations.

Cancers that come up again, names,

rapes, divorces, etc.

All that fell onto me. From those family issues,

I moved on to social issues and to cultural issues.

When people in psychoanalysis have a problem,

they are told with words,

"We are going to look for the trauma that provoked this infirmity."

So this person looks, speaks, for 6 months, 10 months, 8 years,

until they figure out,

I'm in love with my mum, for instance.

The trauma has not been solved. What can I do?

What can I do? I know what I have, what can I do?

So I have been obliged to heal,

that is, to invent psychomagic.

Dali said he wanted to bring dreams into reality.

I followed the anti-surrealistic way, the opposite.

I said, everything is in the unconscious.

One can't teach the unconscious to speak the language of reality.

Reason needs to be taught

to speak the language of dreams.

What is happening?

Darkness is swallowing everything.

It's going to eat us up.

It will pass

Black...

Black... Black... Black...

Now you are like it

You are part of darkness

Darkness is your kingdom

You are a monster of the night

Are you hungry?

Black...

Black... Black...

Black...

My mother dissolved in darkness.

I've never been afraid of the night ever again.

This year was...

the most difficult year I've had to live in my whole life.

All my symptoms moved towards the liver.

My father is a very...

toxic person.

He feeds himself off the harm and damages he does continuously

to his people and mostly his family.

And I am the eldest.

I feel it in the deepest part of my being, the deepest.

Two months ago I used...

heroin

to get me out of this state.

I thought of jumping out of the window.

Every day I thought of killing myself.

That's it!

I decided to give back to the earth

this body of pain.

I sacrificed my life,

my childhood,

to rescue my brothers and sisters

from the evil

of my sick father.

Today I yearn to die.

Enough!

Enough!

Here is your father.

Take it and set yourself free from your father.

I have less suicidal impulses.

The Parisian lifestyle is not right for me.

That is a revelation, I know that.

It's been a while since...

I have loved someone.

I miss it, loving someone.

And it being reciprocal.

Even if it doesn't last.

Anyway... nothing lasts.

Nothing lasts...

It's like life.

There are moments, you have to seize them.

My mother...

never loved me.

Because she doesn't have any relation to her mother, it's complicated.

Because...

her own mother

had a child with a man she didn't love,

and that is my mother.

And until today,

I haven't been able to communicate with my mother.

Nor with my father.

He's very locked-in.

He doesn't care at all for...

It's just superficial in fact.

My mother...

has always made me feel guilty

of the fact that I don't love her.

I know it's not my fault.

But nobody can blame a child for that.

In her head, I became an adult,

but I was only 18-months-old.

And so...

I've always...

had to help,

be an adult in fact.

Since the beginning.

I've never had any connection to her.

Do you picture yourself as a mother?

I'm a bit scared.

I don't know if I can give birth.

Do you love yourself?

I feel happy.

I feel like I love myself more.

I don't feel any hatred or anger against...

my "real parents”.

I feel super at peace.

I know that today my life is about to change.

I know it.

I mean that the couple...

If you want to talk about the couple, the couple is...

It is shaken.

I wouldn't say threatened or endangered,

but the couple is shaken in an awful way.

I am in such deep anger

that I erase my memories.

I have been turned into an eraser.

Every time I erase memories.

I feel that I was a child...

an unwanted child.

Because the only sentence I remember from my mother...

She said,

"Fortunately...

"you were born at home, not in hospital.

"Otherwise I would have said

"there was a mistake in your identity."

Amongst eight children in the family, I was rather the person...

the punching bag.

I was beaten up all the time.

Even for nothing.

The night comes, you are awaken to be beaten up.

To have your breasts touched, your body touched.

Then I came to France at the age of seventeen.

That's when I met my father.

I didn't feel he was somebody who protected me

or who was happy to see me.

I never heard him say the words "my daughter” or "my child".

He was violent.

I wished all the worst on my mother because...

she never knew how to protect me.

I'm with a man and I'm unable to tell him that I love him.

I miss an achievement in this life.

Something that would be done, laid down,

and also something that would allow for life...

in this world. Life in this world.

My father died when I was 9. So before the age of 9,

when I was little, I was very playful and very lively.

So...

Obviously, I miss my father a lot.

I have a very precise image of him.

I have a memory of him playing with me.

I think that I feel like I miss something.

I miss something, I miss a lot.

How am I to carry on? How can I...

How will I be able to engage...

with the world which is complicated,

which is not really simple.

You need a lot of resources.

And I feel a bit like a child.

When I look at adults around me...

It sometimes is strange to realise...

Well, I jump from one age to another and I find myself in another age,

but I don't feel I am of their age.

I just feel that there are parts

of the child...

That child is still here in a way.

He's still here.

Before I somehow looked for conciliation with my parents.

Now I don't feel the desire anymore for justification

or forgiveness, or an explanation.

I don't have that desire anymore.