The United States of Horror: Chapter 1

Welcome to the United States of Horror.

It is a nation founded on superstition, populated

by the paranormal and where death is,

but a heartbeat away.

Our rivers run with blood.

Our cities built on bones and our lives precarious.

Enter, if you dare, but prepare yourselves.

Glory.

I was lost,

proud hear, sing

to the land

where we belong.

Voice. Beautiful.

Hi, this message is

From Mr. Roy Har.

This is a courtesy call from the front desk, I'm afraid

to inform you, has been an issue processing your credit

card, and we were wondering if you could come down at your

earliest convenience to the problem.

Thank you Choosing, and we wish you a beautiful,

You lie, babe.

My slider. Thanks.

It's my lucky lighter whenever we head out.

I get lucky, if you know what I mean. My name's Roy.

What's yours? Beautiful joy.

We rhyme Roy and joy. Guess it was meant to be old joy.

Look like the kind of girl that likes to party. Am I right?

I live just down the street. See that building over there?

Oh, what the f**k?

Where the f**k are you going? Stupid c**t.

Who the f**k do you think you are?

I am sorry.

Nice lighter. Thanks.

It's my lucky light whenever we head out.

I get lucky if you know what I mean.

Where the f**k do you think you're,

Hey man, wake up.

Hey, wake up.

You drank the water, didn't you?

Don't drink the water. Don't drink the water.

Are you sure? I'm just trying to get to I 40.

This is not gonna in like you thought it was.

You drank water than you

are.

You sure? Yeah. I do it all the time. Thanks.

Thirsty

To find happiness

and all those things.

You,

Oh God. What is this?

What The f**k are you? Oh s**t.

Oh God. What the f**k is this s**t? What is this?

What the f**k you do to me? Huh? The f**k man?

S**t. Oh s**t.

What the f**k, Sarah?

What the, what the f**k is it?

It's just us now.

What does that mean? The f**k does that mean? Who is it?

We are of many names.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Get away. Please

Beg.

Do you wish or soon you will not have.

Look please. I got, I got a wife.

Please don't, just don't. Please. I got a wife. I got a kid.

I got another kid on the way. Please.

Just, just f*****g don't,

I'm sorry. Just, it's

Too late for you Now, detective Watson, a pretty face

F**k.

F**k, please.

Just, just,

You don't want to f**k us anymore.

No, no, please. I made a mistake. Why?

Please Relax. More fear,

More power.

I'm sorry. Please just forgive me, please.

I made a mistake.

Please, please. F**k State, please just stop it.

Just f*****g stop. Whatcha doing? Whatcha doing,

Please, please.

No. Oh my God.

What did you think? Uh, it was good.

You on Instagram? No.

Yes you are. I was just checking it.

You weren't even watching were you?

It's not like I haven't seen this before.

What are you talking about? A group of unnaturally,

good looking high school students getting stalked

and murdered in the woods by serial killer.

It's not always in the woods.

Sometimes it's in a house or in a creepy hospital.

I knew the entire plot

of the movie just by reading the title.

That's not true. Blood Summer,

four Beach Vacation Massacre.

Okay, so you don't like Slashers

How bad in the other horror movies?

Hmm. Let's see.

Um, haunted Houses, demon Possessions

or Zombie Apocalypses. That's about it, right?

How can you not like horror movies?

It's not that I don't like them, they just don't scare

Me. Uh, the Shining

Too many hallways A nightmare on Elm Street. I've

Had nightmares that are scarier.

The Exorcist. I haven't watched it all the way through.

Mm-Hmm. But the crucifix scene was pretty hot, right?

Ew. Gross.

And not as hot as you.

Well, next time maybe we can watch one

of your silly Seth Rogan movies.

Hey, do you know how hard it is to be funny?

Judd Apatow is a genius. Comedic timing is everything.

It's a lot harder than running around screaming,

being chased by some mouth breather with a steak knife.

You know what I mean?

Don't be mad at me. Yeah.

You know, I love watching your little horror movies.

It's just they don't scare me.

I mean, I've seen a million of these movies

and I just end up laughing more than anything.

I wanna be scared. That's the whole point, right? The

Point about what

are you Okay?

How, how did you What?

Um, nothing.

Okay,

Leah.

Leah.

Leah. Wake up. Nick. I swear to God

I heard something.

What? Shh.

Heard a noise. What kind of noise?

Shh. What kind of noise?

I don't hear anything.

What is that?

I don't know.

Go check.

I'm gonna go check you. Go check.

Nick. Nick, okay.

Okay.

Oh my God. What do we do? Get that chair. Hurry quick.

Who are they? What do they want? What do you want?

Real calm down. Okay,

What do we do?

Get my phone. Call the cops. Alright, hurry.

It's not working. What? Your password is not working.

Oh, I, I changed it. It's five. 2, 2, 1. What? Five?

2, 2, 1. No, I heard you,

but why did you change your password?

Leo, we don't have time for this. Just call the cops.

Leah, Leah,

Leah, Leah,

Leah, Leah.

No, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa,

Whoa. There.

Whoa. What happened? You okay? Where are they? Oh,

You were, you were asleep.

You were dreaming.

What? Ah, did you have a nightmare?

No, we already did this and we went to bed.

And there there's these people, but they weren't people.

They had these weird blank faces and they took you.

You disappeared.

I felt so real.

Nick, baby. It's okay. You were dreaming.

God, I've never seen you so scared.

Well, maybe next time you won't fall asleep

during a horror movie.

Stupid.

Hello, my cryptids Charlotte.

Here I am currently in Mystic Connecticut.

And let me tell you guys, it is absolutely adorable.

Well, you know, I would never live here.

But anyways, I am here to debunk the legend of

Mary Hawthorne.

Ooh. So excited. So many of you guys said I wouldn't do it.

And look, here I am doing it.

Anyways, a little backstory about Mary.

So what the f**k? You crazy a*****e.

Watch where you're going.

Sorry about that. Girlfriend's fricking locals.

Anyway, back in 1880, Mary and her two daughters were born.

The SS Narraganset when it collided

with another ship and caught fire.

Both her daughters burned to death

and Mary drowned while cradling her daughter's

charred bodies.

It's such a tragic, yet beautiful story. You know.

Anyways, locals claim that she's still looking

for her children to this day.

So my cry, s**t,

You are in my way, Right?

I'd say it's you that's in mine.

Do I know you? Of course.

I'm Charlotte Crypted vlogger extraordinaire.

You want a selfie? No.

So my girlfriends, I just met this beautiful woman

who gave me this killer necklace.

Check it up. Next on our tour is Treasure Trove Antiques.