A New York Story

Oh!

Wait, wait.

-What did you do lose? -Oh, my gloves.

They're lambskin, though. I'll be right back.

I left my gloves.

-I'll be back. -The gloves?

-Yeah, don't leave me. -It's always the gloves.

-They appear, they reappear. -It's every time.

-It's like, I- -Sir, you can't bring drinks out onto the street.

My apologies, sir.

Thank you.

Doing God's work.

Yeah.

-Come on, I'm cold. -Oh.

Hey!

Good God, man. What are you doing?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was taken by the image.

I'm Theo Offit, I'm a photographer.

For the event?

No, the street.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Theo Offit the photographer?

Yeah.

Yes, I saw your exhibition at the New Hudson Yard Gallery.

Post New York Times feature, of course.

Virginia, it's really quite exciting for you

to be photographed by a young Mr. Offit.

Excuse me, we're just heading out.

-I'll wait for Laurie. -Yeah.

Okay.

79th and 5th, please.

Cafrey, Shulman?

I'm just finishing my cig.

I'm out. Mmm, Annabel?

-Why not? -Go for it.

Hope you don't mind the copilot.

You all are leaving early.

Well, don't expect us to stay till the bitter end.

That photo could be great

for your career or catastrophic.

That was Virginia Wyethe, an oil heiress.

Never heard of her.

Naturally.

It's almost too clever of a ruse

to be a coincidence that the general American population

is so distracted by the famous actors and celebrities

that we are completely unfamiliar

with our true ruling class.

The wealthy magnates,

with the exception

of a few notable Vanderbilts here and there,

responsible for the capitalist oppression

under which we were all thriving here tonight.

So, what brings Theo Offit to the blocks uptown?

I got invited by a patron who saw my show at Hudson Yards.

That will happen.

Oh!

I'll pretend to ignore that

because I'm not as litigious as the Wyethe's.

Oh, the only artist that I remember from last year...

Oh, it was a gentleman who was very involved

in the Natural History Museum.

Yes, yes.

One year he convinced the museum to let him

and his high school band play their gala.

-Wow. -But, you know, an admiral pursuit

to participate in the arts in one's formative years.

Mmm.

Again, not all of us are suited to become artists

that should be expressing their talents out in public.

Wouldn't you agree, Annabel?

Mmm, I rarely agree with anything you say.

Well, you used to be an actress,

but dare I say, we wouldn't see you

trotting around a stage these days now would we?

Used to be an actress?

What? retired at 26?

Twenty-seven.

I just studied it in school.

My dad, he's the actor.

A very famous one.

Okay.

Sorry, sorry.

-Ah, there she is! -Yes!

-Yes. -The gloves.

The gloves.

The gentleman at the coat check tracked them down for me.

Wonderful.

-Yes. -Wonderful.

Well, shall we mosey on back to Virginia's for a night cap?

Yes.

Enjoy your night.

Should we invite him?

No, Virginia would not want somebody she doesn't know at her house.

Oh, come on.

-I mean... -Theo?

Would you like to join us?

- Come on. - Oh, come on.

You know, New York is back.

It's the roaring 20's.

It is the roaring 20's.

Come on!

Hey, we could use a fellow like you.

-All right, yeah. -Perfect.

-Wow. -Let's go.

That's your best move.

Oh, here's a cab!

You and the roses.

Having fun, right?

Coats, ladies?

-Right. -Right, right, right.

Okay.

Ladies, did that vocal coach that you hired die?

-Aw, you made it. -And there he is.

Oh. You have a little...

Hello, again.

Hi.

Oh, everyone, you should really see

Theo's exhibition downtown.

It's going through December 1st, if I remember correctly.

That's right. Yeah.

Freddie Wilson.

Theo Offit.

You have a nice smile.

All looks good.

All looks great here.

- Let's get a drink. - Oh, no,

it's because you don't have a job.

- It's because I'm... - All right.

Come on, now, look at that.

Beautiful.

Yes, a golden waterfall.

-Wow. -And then...

That ought to do it.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

-Thank you. -Eli, whiskey?

Theo, whiskey?

-No, thank you. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Sure, sure. -Freddie, champagne?

-Spot of whiskey? -Champagne, my good sir.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

I saw her at the Autumn Dinner.

Wait, rewind.

You're telling me Emma Easton was at the Autumn Dinner tonight?

Oh, Theo, sit, sit.

I swear I did not even see her.

Probably because she's irrelevant

ever since she trapped poor Oscar.

On the contrary.

We have to take her seriously now.

She's his wife.

I don't know who she's gonna ask

for preschool recommendations.

You know, your photos, Theo,

they really got to the heart of the wealth inequality

on this 13 mile island.

I'm serious.

They...

Hey, look, they made me melancholy.

You've got the backbreaking images

of the first generation immigrants in Chinatown.

Oh, the man on the subway.

Yes, he's in the fluorescent light.

He's fallen asleep.

You know, he's exhausted from a day of work.

He's got his mask underneath his nose.

I mean, the city itself is crumbling

from stage four capitalism.

Well, yeah.

You know, here we are. We're well fed.

Dim offspring of immigrants that have clawed

their way to the top with their lily white teeth and hands.

And yet we're not even happy.

Speak for yourself, Cafrey.

I had a wonderful evening.

I'm glad you did.

Look, Cafrey is doing his best to flatter you, Theo,

and appear as if he's deeply sickened

-by this unfair world, -Oh, appear?

which he discovered operates with the cruel,

cruel mechanisms of systemic greed.

Only what?

Tonight?

-Tonight, wow. -Tonight, yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not tonight.

Last week at Theo's exhibition.

-Oh. -Come on.

I'm tired of this.

Dance with me, come on.

I've seen you with three or four cocktails in you.

-Come on. -Oh my God.

This woman loosens up, let me tell you.

Come on.

-My God. -Keep that to yourself, Cafrey.

Are you gonna dip me?

Oh, the dip.

-Oh, you want a dip? -The dip, yeah.

Yes, an elegant dip, see?

That's good, that's right in your core, that dip, yes.