The Incredible 25th Year of Mitzi Bearclaw

(stormy, nature sounds with drums)

(music continues with a woosh sound)

Look at you, all serious.

I'm glad we're doing this together.

Like it's really great for my Social Linguistics class.

This semester I'm concentrating on field work.

Is that all you think about?

Not always.

I have some questions I wanted to ask you

for my next paper.

Mitzi: I don't think so.

I'm your girlfriend, not your subject.

What's your thesis called again?

"Indian Moves to the Big City"?

"The Urbanization of the Native Population

"in North America".

You and your field work.

I don't want to be studied.

I'm gonna make hats.

Crazy, wacky, out of this world hats.

Hats that are gonna save the world.

How are hats gonna save the world?

One sandwich at a time.

And where are these world saving hats coming from?

From me.

I'm applying to fashion design school.

I'm gonna make life saving headgear

like you would not believe.

I'm gonna need a portfolio.

So could you take some photos for me?

And are we still going dancing after for my birthday?

You only turn 25 once.

I know this crazy crowded dance club.

The DJ is my friend.

Everybody's your friend.

Ah, you know it, huh?

Okay.

Here you go, guys.

Here you go.

You get a hat.

You get a hat.

You get a hat.

Hey, Charlie B.

How you doing?

What is it now?

Asthma?

Bronchitis?

Pneumonia?

Emphysema?

Tuberculosis?

Asbestos?

Where'd the green giant go?

Ringo took me dancing last night.

My legs are still aching.

What's his last name again?

Leaves-No-Tip?

Leaves-No-Shadow.

Does he still go on like,

"On my reservation-

and blah, blah, blah.

He's proud of where he comes from.

You should try and be his friend.

His droll academic dialogue bores me.

I could never be his friend.

Some people like their home.

You hear from teachers' college?

I start in the fall.

But I have to get in better shape first.

Did you hear from Uncle William

and Auntie Annabelle?

No.

I only hear from them when someone's dead

or if they need me to send them something.

At least you have parents.

Crazy.

They're your parents too.

They brought you up, remember?

You're kind of my brother.

I wish I had a mom.

You can have mine.

Oh, I forgot.

You already do.

Read something to me, Mitz.

Next time, I gotta get home.

I have a ton of work to do.

He looks bad.

He'll survive.

He always does.

Molly, can't you or Blabby go help Dad with Mom?

What do you mean I'm selfish?

It's my turn?

I have things to do.

Hello?

Hello?

Ringo: There's gorgeous, gorgeous.

Mitzi, your hats are fantastic.

Really beautiful.

Like out of this world.

Oh I'm crazy about them.

I'm gonna write an essay.

With your hats and my photos, no kidding,

maybe you can even apply to a school in Europe.

Oh, oh.

It's stuck. Ow.

Ow ow ow ow.

Oh, I'm stuck.

Ow, I'm stuck.

Hold still.

Ow! Ow!

Oh, are you okay?

Just a prick.

We must sacrifice for our art.

Okay, all right.

What a great afternoon.

You, me.

My camera, your talent.

Me.

My rose prick.

You've been quiet all day.

Did I do something?

I have to go home.

I have to go home.

I have to go home.

Aren't you home now?

No.

I have to go back home to my reserve,

Crazy Owl Island.

The place where everyone's cuckoo

and no one wants to live there, including me.

It can't be that bad, can it?

No, it is that bad.

Everyone on that island is a little off.

Everyone feels that way about their home.

Maybe it's changed.

Is there wifi?

Maybe I could do some research there.

We're like a pack of werewolves,

or some other group of losers.

What?

Somebody die?

It's my Dad.

It's my Mom.

My Dad needs my help to look after her.

She's sick.

It's rough.

It's really nice of your Dad

to send you a birthday present.

No, I don't want to go back.

My mom hates everyone except my cousin.

Why does everything have to happen to me?

And fashion school, you're coming back, right?

And us.

There is no us.

My island sucks.

Hey, Honeyboy.

Can you give us a lift to Owl Island?

Shouldn't you girls be in school?

Ah, come on.

You can party with us.

We made sandwiches.

We have weed.

I have work to do.

You should be learning something.

Come on, I'll give you a ride home.

Let's go.

I remember being that age.

Nothing to do but make trouble.

Life here is short and cold.

They're just trying real hard to have a life.

I can't believe you're still driving this boat.

I thought you would've left the island by now.

Still gathering medicine for your grandfather?

Yeah, when he goes out in the Bush with your dad,

I go with them.

You haven't been around here in a while either.

My presence has been requested.

They still call you Honeyboy?