Foursome

Previously on Foursome.

Breyer got to meet new Andie,

and I hatched a plan all on my own

to get the last of Josh's pheromones out of my bod.

And it worked!

Mainly because Alec spent the day handcuffed to Courtney

to work on their rocky relationship.

Unfortunately, it didn't stop my brother's

band room busting.

Get off my sister!

But I finally stood up to my brother.

I'm all grown up now,

and you're either gonna need to get on board

or get out of my life.

And you know what?

I think he's finally getting it.

New Andie, same foursome.

I'm blocked up like Yogi.

Cause he's a bear?

Most def.

I've gotta stop putting hot sauce on my churro, bro.

Hey, man, you sure it's the Tabasco

and not the Court fiasco?

Boom.

Ooh, sick rhyme, bro.

Maybe, I don't know, man.

I've been trying to avoid her.

I don't know if she's going through menopause or what,

but her emotions are to the brink.

Yeah, so why don't you end it?

And have her sob all over my letterman?

No way, bro, no way.

It's gotta be her call.

That way I'm off scott free.

Yeah, I know what you mean, man.

Like, why is Greer... girls, so annoying, you know?

Like, why can't you just end it?

Like my sister, man.

I can't believe she said I was a bad big brother.

Everything I do is to protect her.

She's young, all right.

She just want to have fun.

It's not her I don't trust.

It's the me's.

Look at what I did at her age, man!

God, she's so ungrateful.

Jesus, man!

You bring me some toilet paper?

There you go.

Oh, boy, I'm gonna need

a lot more TP than this, bro.

This is the worst first fall date ever.

Are you bummed about the fall equinox?

I saw your mom working on the float this morning.

What is fall equinox?

Is that, like, fancy couscous?

Ooh, pumpkin spice couscous?

Hello?

What flavor couscous?

Ugh, I'm surrounded by holla back girls.

When I was home schooled, on the first day of fall,

my mom and I would always do autumn activities.

I always won harvest queen.

Congratulations.

Weren't you the only nominee.

Yes.

But it was still an honor.

An honor I'm missing out on this year.

You guys, ever since I started here,

I feel like my mom and I are growing apart.

It's time for you to leave the nest.

Uh, no, no, this is my float.

I was gonna surprise my mom with it.

Yeah, that can't stay in here.

Ew.

You can't take it away from me, I'm not ready.

I will make this long distance relationship work.

Good for you, Imogen.

You and your mom are gonna be so happy together.

Don't lie to her.

LDRs never work.

Even if it's a short distance long distance,

and you see each other all the time,

and you've been dating...

I mean, related for years,

it just doesn't work.

I mean, Imogen's mom is probably pushing her away

so she can home school some other kid.

Why else would she be okay with Imogen

never being around?

She obviously is getting what she needs

from someone else in a way that Imogen can't!

Courtney, don't project your relationship garbage

onto Imogen.

I can't.

No one is available

to take your call right now.

Who are you with, flooze?

Guru Dakota, Guru Dakota, I need your help, please.

Hey, scrub.

Get out, lock the door, lose my number,

and accept the fact that you're probably

gonna die alone.

Is this a test?

Yes, and you're failing.

Now scram!

Guru Dakota is kinda being a dick.

I am just so sick and tired of the needies.

Everywhere I go, every class I'm in,

some freshman fail finds me and asks me for advice.

It's like I can't even catch a break.

I've been so busy trying to finish my holy grail

and leading my flock

that I just haven't had any he time.

I just need some space.

Speaking of space, you haven't heard

from Alec today, have you?

Ever since my big speech, Alec's been avoiding me.

Which is amazing because

it's only a matter of time before my phero-boys

start begging for more.

Once you go Andie, you want more candy.

I mean, it's a good thing I'm not into any of them,

cause they're clearly into me.

That confidence, though.

If he's avoiding you, then where has he been?

He has been constipated recently,

so I don't know, the bathroom?

What has he been doing?

Who has he been doing?

He's cheating on me!

If he's not getting any from me,

then he must be milking some other cow.

I did not mean I'm a cow, Dakota.

I'm sorry.

Okay, you guys are all overreacting.

Your mom just probably dropped her phone in a pumpkin,

your followers will forget as quickly as they flocked,

and Alec is 40% not cheating on you.

I'm 100% gonna find out.

Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

Nobody two-times Courtney Todd.

Good for her.

She has a plan, just like I did.

As long as she executes it perfectly,

like me, who knows?

Maybe by the end of the day,

I'll be getting ready for a date

with one of my extra curriculars.

Bye!

Yeah, I liked it better when she hated herself.

Guru Dakota, my girlfriend says

she hates me in her sleep.

Is that sub-conscious?

No, no more advice.

Can't you see I'm on vacay?

I mean, where do you think I got this sand from?

Okay.

Now, listen up, virgins.

All y'all better spread the word

that I will no longer be hounded

with all of your desperate sex queries.

It's like the swatch.

It's a phase.

I'm over it.

All I want to do is relax.

Sex is the last thing that's on my mind.

Damn.

Good morning, class.

My name is Mr. Zapp.

I'm your new chemistry sub.

I'll be taking over for Ms. Willy today.

that ass Ms. Willy.

She a bitch.

I'm gonna write my name on the board

so you all don't forget it.

Are you seeing this?

Yeah, his penmanship is the pits.

All right, my job is to teach you all chemistry.

Some have it, and some don't.

Did you see that?

Yeah, he made a lame dad joke.

We all saw.

Dakota Green?

Would you mind coming up here and assisting me?

It's very nice to meet you, Dakota.

Pleasure's all mine.

Uh, we'll be wearing safety goggles

for every lab we do this year.

Put those on.

Now, you wanna make sure that your goggles are tight,

all right, so that they fit snug against your skin.

Thank you for your help, Mr. Green.

Wanna have a seat?

Either my brain is wired one way,

or that man is coming onto me.

Okay, Dakota.

Everyone wants you.

Just got flowers for somebody.

Thank you.