Only Murders in the Building

You are all persons of interest now.

- Thank you! - Uh, quick selfie together?

How about a quick exit? For you.

Have a good night, though, sir. Thank you very much.

- Hi, Alice. - I'm really glad you came.

I'm so glad you're not a catfish.

We could use some new energy in our collective.

So, this is, what, a recruitment?

Hold the elevator!

Well, hello there, Amy Schumer.

Would you ever consider selling me the rights to the podcast,

so I could turn it into

an 8- to 10-episode streaming series?

I'd be lying if I didn't say I had a 200-page pitch deck

floating around my apartment somewhere.

- Fuck off, Oliver! - Is that Bunny?

Are you hearing that, too?

Bunny had a bird?

Someone is coming!

Bunny had a real eye for erotic art.

This Rose Cooper painting that she has,

- it's worth a fortune. It's in the bedroom. - They're coming this way!

There should be a naked man on this wall!

Guys. Check this out.

Bunny had a secret elevator?

- Where does it go, Hell? - Let's find out.

Yeah. Still, that was way too close.

But we got a huge clue.

We find the painting, we find the killer.

Bunny's painting?

Charles, is that you?

It's my father.

The story of Bunny Folger

begins with the story of the Arconia.

Built in 1908 to help establish

the Upper West Side

by architect and infamous playboy

Archibald Carter,

the Arconia was his fourth building of this style

in as many countries.

Each of Archibald's buildings

have little secrets known only

to the architect himself.

Just as Archibald held secrets

known only to the architect himself.

Archibald eventually married

and raised his family in the Arconia.

And many years later,

Archibald's daughter, Leonora,

married one Mr. Folger

and raised their daughter Bunny in the Arconia.

Bunny lived every day of her life in that same apartment.

In the 1950s, the Upper West Side

was a neighborhood of middle class

and working people.

A place for immigrants, artists,

and, as ever, aspiring actors.

"Mark, I know you think it's silly, but when you get to know Tony,

you'll understand why I said that."

"Darling, I understand now.

That doesn't stop you from loving me."

- Uh... - No.

"Stop me from loving you."

- Otherwise, you got it. - You're gonna nail this audition.

Yeah, we'll see.

Just remember not to tell your mother about what we did today.

Why doesn't Mom want you to be an actor?

Because she's a dream killer, son.

Charles, look at that building.

I hit it big, we're gonna live there.

So, my father was the subject

of a very pricey piece of erotica.

Are you sure that's your father?

- He had much broader shoulders. - Oliver...

Same gorgeous white hair, but clearly...

narrower hips.

I mean, his are like this, and you're more like...

this.

That's him. The scar on his neck.

That's his watch I still have.

But what's he doing up there?

Was he a model? Was he a gigolo?

Was he sleeping with Rose Cooper?

A highly esteemed

and very horny artist.

H-- A super valuable painting of your father

that was stolen from a murdered woman's apartment,

planted in yours,

and that's the part you can't get over? The sex part?

Fucking men.

We're the worst. Time's up.

The guy had so many secrets.

I mean, did he even wanna be an actor? Did he really wanna live in this building?

Is that a shadow?

Or a tiny little bit

of his balls?

Mm. Wonderful things

for you to work out in therapy.

And, granted, Papa did have a sizable set of luggage.

Meanwhile, we have to get this outta here,

so we all don't look like murderers,

and I can focus back on me.

I have a meeting later with Amy Schumer.

Uh, guys?

This painting's called Savage.

What?

Oh, good! My name's on it! That's not suspicious at all!

So, I should mention...

Bunny said something to me before she died.

Fourteen.

In addition to 14...

"Savage."

- She said "Savage." - What?

M-maybe she was trying to point you toward the painting.

Maybe she saw it being stolen.

Or maybe she met Savitch, like Jessica Savitch.

- Who? - A famous news anchor

I dated briefly in the '80s.

Lived in the building before me.

Left me for Ed Bradley from 60 Minutes.

Oh, by the way, did I ever tell you the time

that I met Steve Kroft at a Korean spa?

The man had the most beautiful, firm breasts.

Okay, you must ask permission to tell stories from now on.

None of this makes any sense.

The knitting needle, and now the painting?

Well, it's clear that someone's trying to frame the two of you.

Not me, which is weird,

uh, considering that I'm definitely the most compelling.

We've gotta get this painting out of here.

Whoever planted it here could also have the cops come any minute.

Oh! No--

- Nobody's home! I mean-- I mean-- Here-- - Put it over here!

- No, no, no! The closet! The closet! - Where? Where?

- Put it in the bedroom! The bedroom! - Where?

- Nobody ever goes in the bedroom! Go! Go! - The bedroom!

J-just putting on a sweater!

Oh! Hi, inquisitive neighbor Howard Morris!

How can I help you?

Oh, hello. I'm sorry to bother, but you left your keys in the door.

I was looking for those.

I actually wanted to stop by

because I appreciate what you've done for the building.

- Well, thank you. - And I loved your podcast.

I actually knew it was your girlfriend, like, episode eight.

Well, I wish you would have told me 'cause that would have been helpful.

Well, I wanted to see how it ended, Charles.

Anyway, I also agree with what you said on your new podcast.

I'm sorry?

Whoever has the painting is Bunny's killer.

We're actually moving off that theory, Howard.

Howard! Hey! What happened to your eye?

Oh , it's so silly.

I-I was playing hide-and-seek with my new kitten, Sevelyn,

and, um, boom!

Ran into my hutch. She found me.

How can we...

Oh! Um, there's a gathering over at Bunny's place right now.

Just for people who loved her.

It should be a very small gathering.

I thought it would be good if the three of you stopped by.

Oh, I-I don't really think anybody wants to see us.

Yeah. And, Howard, stopping by the victim's memorial

is a classic "guilty person's" move.

- But isn't that why you should go? - To find the guilty person

who looks more guilty than the three of you.

Howard has a point with that.

So why do you think you were framed?

Come on, catch me up. Let's dish.

It will all be on the podcast.

We're switching to a subscription model this season.

- Thanks for the info. - Actually,

I had an idea for, like, a capsule episode,

which I thought might be--

Okay, what if we put the painting back in Bunny's apartment

and used Bunny's shindig as cover?

That's good. We stop by, we suss out the crowd,

I slip into Bunny's closet,

down her secret elevator into the alley...

Where we can be with the painting.

And then back up to Bunny's and out.

- Yes! Oh, that's a plan. - I think this is really good!

- We are getting the hang of this. - Absolutely.

You can tell it's our second season.

Ah...

Ripped and corrected by - YoungJedi -

Hi, baby. Hello?

Hello?

Howard's my friend.

Howard's my friend.

Oh, goodie. The murderers are here.

What the hell are you doing?

- We brought dip! - Uma, be nice. I invited them.

- We came to pay our respects. - With a screw top?

What happened, you couldn't find a box?

We want to help find Bunny's killer.

Her death was tragic and one of the worst days of my life,

and that's actually saying something.

Right 'cause it's all about you.

Millennials. Get a job.