The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie

Road-runner: Beep beep!

Bugs bunny: Oh, no, you don't.

Oh! How do you do?

Nice... nice of you to drop by me humble abode.

My name is bunny.

Bugs bunny, esquire, to be exact.

Ah...

One of the back bay bunnies...

Uh, back bay of Brooklyn, that is.

I have also been known by other flattering names.

For instance, I'm called "that wascally wabbit"

by a certain e... Elmer Fudd,

who has spent many fruitless and rather frustrating years chasing me.

I have also been know as...

"That ornery, carrot-eating varmint"

by a certain yosemite Sam,

who for some reason hates rabbits.

I can't imagine why.

What started all this chasing?

When was the very first chase?

Well, in order to answer that question,

we'll have to swing back in time a little bitty bit.

In the beginning, all was peaceful and quiet.

Quite dark, too.

Oh, once in a while, a star exploded...

But usually it was just a small one,

only a million miles or so in diameter.

Anyway, nobody complained, which was odd,

until you realized that there wasn't nobody around to complain.

So for about 15-20 billion years,

things went along smoothly and pleasantly

until one day, very deep in a sixth-rate galaxy called the milky way,

circling around a fourth-rate star called the sun,

on a tenth-rate planet, a strange creature appeared,

a strange creature called man.

I'll take it.

Bugs: And so neanderthal person quickly invented the first chase...

And the first competition...

And the first love...

And the first women's lib...

And the first domesticity and the first boredom.

And so neanderthal persons, in order to alleviate boredom,

invented the first graffiti.

What's on the wall tonight, dear?

Same old stuff: Westerns, sitcoms, soaps.

Bugs: And so the invention of boredom.

Led to the invention of moving pictures.

But after about 25,000 years of this

and having developed severe cricks in their necks,

man and woman became bored again,

even with all those brilliant, ultramodern, innovative ideas,

like the first motion-picture cameras.

I'm kind of tired of documentaries.

Frankly, I wouldn't mind a few laughs myself.

Bugs: And so it came to pass that comedy was invented,

and comedy begat pratfalls...

And custard pies...

And double takes.

But most of all, comedy begat chases.

And chases begat chases...

And chases...

And chases and chases...

Until the mind boggleth.

And then one day, another strange and historic creature appeared:

Me.

Ok, wabbit, now I've got you.

Eh... what's up, doc?

Bugs: So you see, that's how chases began,

and that's how I came into the picture,

just a mild mannered forest creature,

shy, easily frightened.

A quiet-living rabbit am I.

And yet...

I guess in a way I am an unusual rabbit

on account of, uh... instead of having hundreds of children,

like your ordinary run-of-the-mill rabbit,

I had several fathers,

fathers with odd names,

like Tex Avery...

Uh, friz freleng...

Chuck Jones...

And Bob mckimson,

the ones who directed most of me pictures.

Fathers like tedd Pierce,

Warren foster,

and Mike Maltese,

who wrote most of me biography.

And of course a father named Mel blanc,

who had thousands of voices

and was nice enough to give me one of them.

This show you're gonna see now is about what just one of those fathers did

with me and me cartoon associates,

an animation director

who goes by the unlikely name of Chuck Jones.

And old Chuck seemed determined to get poor little old me into outer space, too.

Gad! What a night!

I'll never mix radish juice and carrot juice again.

Yech.

Brr! I hope the lake's warmed up a little this morning.

Announcer: 10, 9, 8...

Bugs: Whew! Wow! The hole seems long this morning.

Announcer: 3, 2, 1, fire!

Bugs: Holy cow! I thought I'd never reach the top of this.

Hey, who plugged up the hole?

Why, the sun ain't even out yet.

No wonder I'm so slee... py.

Yikes! What was that? Oh!

Well, ask a silly question.

Something tells me I should have stood in bed.

Where the heck am I, anyways?

Well, wherever it is, I don't like it,

and I'm getting out of here.

Hey, maybe that character wearing a spittoon can help me.

At last, after 2,000 years of work,

the aludium pu-36 explosive space modulator.

Eh, pardon me, sir, but could you...

At long last, my dream come true.

Hey, doc, wait!

I want to ask you something.

Ah... pardon me, doc, but could you rent me a u-drive flying saucer?

I've got to get back to the earth.

Oh, well, don't bother, then.

No point in wasting money on a flying saucer

when the earth's not gonna...

Clang!

Ah, pardon me again, doc,

but just what did you mean

by that crack about the earth being gone?

Oh, I'm going to blow it up.

It obstructs my view of Venus.

It does? That's a shame.

Where's the ka-boom?

There was supposed to be an earth-shattering ka-boom.

The aludium pu-36 explosive space modulator!

That creature has stolen the space modulator!

Delays, delays.

Capture that creature and return the aludium pu-36 explosive space modulator.

Yoo-hoo!

Well, that's that.

Oh, dear.

Now I shall have to create more martians.

Hey!

This martian hot rod better get at least a million miles to the gallon.

The earth ain't just across the street.

Oh, goody! My aludium pu-36 explosive space modulator.

Well, back to the old drawing board.

Boy, it's really wonderful to be back in civilization.

Run for the hills, folks, or you'll be up to your armpits in martians.

As you can see, being a rabbit is not just a bed of carrots.

But other people...

If you want to call a duck people...

Had close encounters with that little martian, too,

as the ensuing, gripping, and nerve-tingling drama now demonstrates.

I have sent for you, Dodgers, because we are facing a crisis.

The world's supply of aludium fosdex...

The shaving cream atom...

Is alarmingly low.

Now, we have reason to believe

that the only remaining source is on planet x...

Somewhere in this area.

And you want me to find planet x, is that it?

Can you do it, Dodgers?

Oh, indubitably, sir,

because there's no one knows his way around outer space

like duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half century!

Are you ready, eager young space cadet?

I'm r-r-r... all set, your heroship, sir.

Then make way for duck Dodgers

in the 24th and a half century!

Oops! Ha ha! Had the silly thing in reverse.

And now, then, eager young space cadet,

here is the course we shall pursue to find planet x.

Starting from where we are, we go 33,600 turbo miles due up.

Then west in an astro arc deviation to here.

Then, following the great circle,

7 radial loops south by down east...

By astral astrobal to here, here, and here.

Then by space navigable compass to here, here,

and then to here and here...

And thus to our destination.

Now do you know how to reach planet x?

Ah, y-y-y-y-y... oh, sure.

Well, I wish you'd explain it to me sometime, buster.

W-W-Well, it's very simple, sir.