Baby Daddy

Wake up.

Wake up.

Hi, Emma.

Emma!

This isn't what it looks like.

You don't care. You're two.

Hey, Zoey. Zoey!

Uh, I guess I kind of dozed off.

Huh, me too. I should probably be going.

- Yeah, I got to, uh... - Totally.

- Yeah, maybe we can do this again... - That would be great!

- Maybe without the kids next... - I'm in. See ya!

Yeah, okay.

I think this one is yours.

Right.

Baby Daddy - 05x10 - Homecoming and Going

Oh, Sam, hi!

Uh, you're back early.

I hope everything worked out with my uncle's cabin.

It was great.

Except for the fact that you forgot

to tell your uncle we are coming.

Getting arrested was fun.

Oh. Hey, everyone.

So I guess I just tiptoed

through the living room for nothing.

You spent the night with Ben?

- No. - Yes.

Yes. We just slept together.

Regular sleep.

Not the kind I can see you both picturing.

Oh, uh, they're a couple. They kissed and...

he's pretty good, right?

Oh, my God, please don't ever tell Danny

that I said that.

Got it. I'm just gonna...

Yeah.

So...

I guess Ben got over his little crush

on me pretty quickly, huh?

Little crush?

He texted me a picture of the campsite

he built for me.

He was definitely crushing.

Gosh, I guess I never realized how sweet he could be.

Maybe I misjudged him.

No, no, no. I don't think so.

Did I mention how perfect

Ben and Zoey are together?

Hey, roomie...

Hey...

so, we just heard all about

your "little sleepover" with Zoey last night.

Feel free to lose the air quotes and innuendo.

Nothing happened.

Having kids in bed with you

is the best way to prevent more kids.

Hey... so, since my little getaway

got washed out, I was thinking about

going up to my folks' place in the Hamptons

for a day or two... Do you wanna come along?

Really? Sweet, yeah, that would be so cool.

- Great. - Okay.

You'll love it.

Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with you?

You just spent the night with Zoey, and now you're running off

for a weekend with Sam?

Calm down! Sam has made it abundantly clear

that we're just friends.

Yeah, until she found out that you might actually

have feelings for someone else.

Oh, my God, do you not speak a word of "girl"?

You're just jealous 'cause she didn't invite you.

Oh, please. Come on. Like I care about going to the stupid Hamptons.

Hey, Riley, do you and Danny want to come, too?

Yes, we would! That would be so amazing,

I've never been to the Hamptons.

I'm just going to keep an eye on you.

Hey, Brad, honey, get ready to grab a screenshot.

You're gonna want this.

Bonnie, wait.

Wait? Do you have any idea

how long it took to me to find the right angle?

Bonnie, you know how I...

that it just wasn't...

I met someone.

I'm sorry? It sounded like you said you met someone.

I did. I just hope you understand that...

What?

Oh, I understand, all right.

I understand that that is the second most awful thing

to happen to me over a webcam. Oh!

Hey, hey!

200 pounds of baby crap for your weekend with Emma.

I can totally come back later.

Brad left me for some Peruvian floozy!

There, there.

- Hold me! - Oh, my God!

So many bad things happening. There's just nowhere to look.

Just give me one good reason why we should go

to the Hamptons with Sam.

You've hated her since high school.

So? Why should hating people

stop you from enjoying their beach houses?

Plus, we need to be there for Ben, all right?

He just started seeing Zoey,

and I think Sam is trying to put the moves on him.

And you really think that we can keep him off of her?

I mean, when it comes to Ben,

there's only two things you shouldn't try to get between...

and Sam's got both of them.

Besides, I don't want you getting all weird and jealous.

Weird and jealous? Why would I be weird and jealous?

I mean, it's not like you've ever had feelings for her.

You never did have feelings for her, right?

Oh, my God, no! We've been over this.

No feelings for Sam, ever. Not then, not now,

and if I did, I would've told you.

You know what? This conversation is exactly why

we are not going.

We're going, aren't we?

Okay, if you insist!

Here we are...

Welcome to your Hamptons hideaway.

Sorry about your bag getting lost, Riley,

but you can borrow my bikini.

No, she can't.

So, uh, you guys can have the master bedroom,

and Ben and I will share my old room upstairs.

We're gonna share? One room together? You and me?

Calm down. There are two beds. I think you'll be safe.

See? I told you she only wants you now that you don't want her.

And who says I don't want her?

I had one kiss with Zoey.

One kiss does not a relationship make.

But many kisses does make for a pretty great weekend.

Ayyy!

What up, MC Underpants?

Hey, what are you doing here?

I'm bored and lonely and sad and frustrated.

I might need to talk over

this whole Brad thing with someone.

I feel like... I want to fight for him.

Or kill him.

Or kill him while I'm fighting for him.

God, but... he won't even return my phone calls

so I can tell him how much I hate him.

Or love him.

Woman, man up! Okay?

Now, you need to get out there,

and you need to find somebody

who will help you forget.

Or just get out.

You can't let Brad walk all over you.

You know what? You're right.

I'm not gonna sit here and feel sorry for myself.

I'm gonna go out and let complete strangers tell me how beautiful I am

while I feel sorry for myself.

Thank you, Tucker.

Emma.

Hi.

Oh my God, old home movies.

We totally have to watch these.

"Sam's Sweet 16". Wasn't invited.

"Sam's Annual Barbecue". Wasn't invited.

"Cheerleaders-Only Slumber Party"?

I'd totally be up for watching that.

Homecoming. Oh! I actually went to that one.

All right.

- I won, bitches! - Oh, my...

Seriously, I just want to thank everyone who voted for me,

I love you all.

Some of you more than others.

Hey, Sam! Congratulations.

- Oh! - Oh, my God!

If I wasn't opposed to the whole objectification

of women, I totally would've voted for you.

Hey, didn't you say that you were gonna bring Danny?

Hey, Sam! Wassup?

Yeah, this is a great party.

Hey, Danny!

Oh, it's so good to see you,

like, out and about.

I normally don't come to these kind of things,

but when Riley asked me to be her date...

Oh, look, they have cake. Come on.

Uh, excuse me, party crasher...

what are you doing here?

Oh, hey, Sam, how's it going?

You really know how to fill out a uniform.

In case you were wondering,

my braces come off in two weeks.

- Oh, no! Oh, no! - Hey!

Okay, show's over.

That hair never needs to be seen again.

So the grill's lit.

Uh, Ben and Riley, if you could just, uh, set the table,

and Danny, if you wanna grab the burgers...

You're welcome.

For what?