Superstore

Order. Order in the store.

It's a... it's a judge thing.

- Ah. - Ah. - Ah. - Ah.

Anyway, our new district manager

is gonna be visiting today

so I've thrown together some fun Halloween events.

First, we're gonna be handing out goodie bags to the kids.

Uh, Sandra, can you take the lead on that?

- Yes. - Glenn and Garrett,

you two are gonna be managing

the haunted house in the garden center.

Aww, man, then I won't get to hear Jonah lecture us

on whatever dumb metaphor his costume's supposed to be.

Uh, actually, I got tired of explaining

my costume every year, so this year,

I'm just gonna be a good old-fashioned cowboy.

We get it.

You're herding us to the polls because no one here votes.

- No, really, I'm... - Don't be stupid.

He's obviously toxic American masculinity.

Actually, I... I like that better.

I'm switching to that.

Um, should we be selling these?

Didn't they just find another cut-off foot right around here?

Oh, it's awful.

I'm an empath so things like that really affect me.

I just wish they would catch the guy already.

Why are you assuming it's a guy?

Maybe St. Louis finally has a female serial killer.

Oh, yeah. About time.

Uh, hello, glass ceiling?

Ya shattered.

Sorry I'm late. Sorry.

Wow.

Hard to get in my car in this thing,

but guess who's winning our costume contest?

Oh, by the way,

there will be no costume contest this year.

What?

Corporate didn't want to approve

another racial sensitivity training.

Tita Irma spent an hour this morning sewing me into this.

You're sewed into that?

How are you gonna use the bathroom?

There's actually a lot of padding in here, so...

*SUPERSTORE*

Season 05 Episode 06 Episode Title : "Trick-or-Treat"

And we've done a really good job

of organizing employees at other stores.

Oh, I pulled so many digits.

'Cause you were in charge

of getting everyone's contact info.

Point is, we almost have

enough cards signed to unionize.

This is great, guys. We're gonna be a union.

Ooh, this sounds fun.

Did Sayid reach a new level of Pokémon?

My girlfriend made me quit.

We were just talking about the u... nicorn union.

No, just... just unicorns.

Um, you guys, you know I'm pro-union.

Why wouldn't you just tell me about the meeting?

We quit telling you weeks ago because you're management.

I mean, she doesn't need healthcare.

She's got a drawer full of Band-Aids in her desk.

Okay, I paid for those Band-Aids,

and they're for everybody.

- Can I have one? - Do you have a cut?

Ah, see? There's always a catch.

Look, the union rep just said that in order to be safe,

we should probably keep management

at, like, you know, a distance,

and obviously you're not, like, a "manager" manager

or anything, but, you know, still.

Oh, you want me to leave.

Obviously, I don't want that.

- I clearly... that's not... - Really?

- 'Cause it kinda seems like - No, no,

- you're trying to get me out of the - we're just trying...

door but...

Oh, my God, they're so cute when they bicker.

- No, no, we're not. - We're... that's...

That's... no.

All right, go ahead. Have fun in there.

Don't steal anything.

It's my first Halloween since the diabetes.

Mm.

You're so lucky you don't have a family.

You could eat yourself to death and no one would care.

I mean, it's okay.

I guess I'll just be here all day watching you eat that.

Works for me.

- You know what? - Oh!

I'm just gonna get rid of it, you know,

- to save us from being tempted. - What?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Whoa!

No, it's best for both of us, not to mention this guy.

Hey, man, don't touch my tummy!

Okay, Halloween question.

If anyone in our store was chopping off feet...

Glenn.

Well, it's always the churchy ones who snap first.

Really? What about Garrett?

'Cause, you know, he's a sneaker guy

and you know where people keep their sneakers.

Glenn? Garrett?

Really?

Did you see those crime scene photos?

That foot was a precision cut.

I'm thinking a reciprocating meat saw.

Oh, you've given this foot chopper a lot of thought.

Oh, they're not just cutting off feet.

If you ask me, they're dismembering whole bodies.

Sure, they're releasing the feet,

but there's a trophy room somewhere with heads,

hands, and select genitals.

You don't think that, uh... Yeah, no.

But do you?

What, that Dina's a serial killer?

No, no.

- I mean, that would be insane. - Yeah.

Oh, but also kinda.

Right?

Well, I just hate having to be so out of it,

especially now that we're so close to the finish line.

It's like this union is my baby and I don't even get

to drop it off at college.

- Our baby. - Okay, yeah, sure.

I mean, you help, obviously, and I so appreciate it,

and I love that you have a connection with the baby.

Are we still talking about the...

- The union, yeah. Of course. - Right, yeah.

Look, it's... it's almost done. You don't have to worry.

I mean, I'm meeting with somebody later today

from Fenton to get the last of the signed cards,

- and then... - - Knock, knock.

Oh, hey. Uh, new DM.

Yes. Maya.

Jonah. Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi, nice to meet you, too.

Amy was just telling me about some

of her favorite RBG dissents. Uhhuh.

Yep, and I said all of them, so dismissed.

Okay.

Amy Sosa. So nice to meet you.

You, too.

I just thought it would be a fun day

to come by and meet you guys

now that I'm taking over for Laurie.

Yeah, yeah.

She... she left kind of suddenly, huh?

Did that have anything to do with her, um...

- Her hobbies? - You mean her coke habit?

- Oh, um, I... wow. That... - It's okay.

- We're all talking about it. - Okay.

At the last retreat, she was so coked up,

she roundhouse kicked the CEO into the omelet station.

- No. - Yeah.

Did anybody get a video of that?

Girl, I wish!

No, but seriously, it's very sad.

Yeah, no, I really hope she gets the help she needs.

Aww, I left my cell phone in the garden center.

Well, I'm just spitballing here,

but maybe you could just go in and get it?

Yeah.

Haunted houses are a little loaded for me.

When I was a kid,

my dad took me to Skele-Tony's Spook Shack,

and I accidentally let go of his hand

and I couldn't find my way out for 45 minutes.

I ended up eating the spaghetti brains

and grape eyeballs just to survive.

So because of that traumatic snack,

you're too scared to go into the garden center

that we saw Elias decorate with crepe paper?

No, no. That'd be silly.

Of course I can go in there.

Mm-hmm.

But you know what'd be easier?

I can check my voicemail remotely.

Go into the store, use the phone,

dial nine for an outside line, call my cell phone,

press star, and then enter my password.

Easy peasy.

Yeah.

I am Maya, the new DM.

Hi, I'm Garrett. Nice costume.

Yeah, we both know I just threw on the first thing

that I found in the store, okay?

Yeah. Me, too.

Excuse me.

I mean, that looks pretty elaborate.

Well, you know, it was just sitting

in the front of the store, so I just grabbed it.

Um, could you excuse me for just a minute?

- And Crestwood came around... - Hey!

Hey, lady!

Hey!

I saw you walk in and I thought,