Wrecked

Previously on "Wrecked"...

The pirates came here on a cruise ship?

Specifically, a Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute cruise?

Full throttle.

We're going home!

This thing whole thing with Owen and Florence,

it's like, "Remember me, your old best friend?"

you really think I was gonna let you rot in the pit your whole life?

Come here.

What? I'm sorry. Who are you?

It's me... Corey. Do you not know who I am?

- Who the hell is this guy? - Corey!

I've literally been on the island the entire time.

- Will you marry me, like, for reals? - Yes!

Yeah!

Announcement time, dummies,

so shut up and listen to smokin'-hot fiancée.

Babe?

So, all this time out here on the boat...

It's really given us a chance to think.

You know, the reality is, when we get back home,

we'll probably all go our separate ways.

That's why while we're all still here,

- me and Todd are getting... - We're getting married!

Yeah!

Right here on the boat. You guys are all invited.

And we wanted to tell you guys first, because, well,

you guys are our best friends.

Aww.

And you're our best friends!

Whoo! Wow!

Todd and Jess finally wed! Yeah!

I just got to say,

watching your love blossom these past few months...

has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life...

Of our lives.

Oh, my God.

I should officiate the wedding. I'm ordained.

It would be such an honor. That's, of course, if you'll have me.

Who are you, bro?

- What? 7 - Who are you?

Who am I? I'm Corey.

Corey.

Corey!

Seriously?!

Co... I saved your life!

I saved your life from him!

No, I don't think so.

Yes, I did!

I absolutely did! Florence, you remember!

Okay.

Okay. I get it.

I see what's going on here.

You're pulling my chain. You're joshin' me.

It's not gonna work this time, Todd.

- Seriously, Josh, I don't... - Corey!

My name is Corey!

Say it!

Say it at the same time that I say it!

- Gordy. - Cor... Corey!

I'm gonna wear this dead lady's dress to the wedding.

What are you gonna wear?

Yeah. You know what? I was thinking that, uh...

I might not go to the wedding, so...

What are you talking about? It's Todd and Jess.

They are literally the only other couple we know.

See, that's the thing, though. It's like...

Man, are we even a couple?

What?!

Okay, it's like we just started hooking up, right?

We're probably gonna get rescued soon, and then.

I-I think... I think I'm just unclear

on, like, what is supposed to happen when we get back.

'Cause we don't even live in the same city,

so does that mean that one of us is gonna, like, move

to the other city? Am I gonna, like, pack up all my stuff?

Am I gonna help you pack up all your stuff? Like, how...

Okay.

Have you seen the movie "Speed"?

- Of course. - Okay.

In the movie "Speed," Sandra Bullock and Keanu

fall in love on a speeding bus, right?

"Cruise Control" come out,

they're not together anymore.

Why do you think that is?

'Cause Keanu didn't want to do the sequel?

No, it's because their relationship only worked

in a time of crisis.

Sorry, what does this have to do with Todd and Jess' wedding?

Going to a wedding is something that normal couples do,

and we don't even know if we're ever gonna be a normal couple.

That's...

Okay. You know,

I'm not gonna let your weird relationship hang-ups

ruin this wedding for me,

and I certainly won't let it ruin "Speed."

- Oh! Pack! - Hey.

Fancy seeing you here in the captain's quarters.

I guess we both had the same idea.

- Yeah. Find a suit. - Jerk off on the bed

and wipe my knob on the curtains.

What did you say?

What... What did you say?

I'm looking for a suit.

Yeah, same... Looking for a suit.

Okay. Yeah.

So... let's do it.

Let's look for those... suits.

Okay.

Aha! Lucky days!

Look at that... Captain's whites!

You know, I could have been in the navy.

I had the height, but, of course, I can't swim.

I look good in white. Shut up! Shut up!

I think I found something!

There's no need to be rude. We both found things.

Oh, my God! Don't jump!

Okay.

What are you doing out here, man? Where's Florence?

I don't know. We kind of had a... fight.

Oh, no! That sucks.

See, I'm just trying to explain to her that right now,

we might feel like Keanu and Bullock in "Speed," but when we get home

and we're not in danger anymore, we might feel more like.

- "Cruise Control." - Thank you. You get me.

Yeah, I get it. You're totally Keanu.

And if she doesn't think that, then... psh!...

Let her go find some Jason Patric.

Totally. Who? What?

- Jason Patric. - Who's that?

The guy that replaced Keanu in "Speed 2."

They replaced Keanu?

Now, he and Sandy... They had chemistry.

But Keanu was never supposed to be with her in the first place.

He was supposed to be with his bud, Jeff Daniels,

'cause Jeff Daniels was the guy in his ear the whole time.

Okay, good. Good. Yeah.

I got to go find Florence. I got to apologize.

Thank you, Danny.

$165,000!

Guy Ritchie!

But who do you think left it here?

The pirates! Steve, this is a pirate ship!

Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously.

Yeah, the pirates.

Good. So, we'll split it up with the rest of them.

What's $165,000 divided by 35?

Uh...

I want to say $7? $7?

What if we didn't share it with the others?

- Keep it a secret? - Think about it.

If we split it with everyone, that's like...

$7. Exactly.

But if we split it just between the two of us,

then that's like...

8...

7... 80...

uh, pretty much $80,000.

Wow! Pretty much $80,000?

And if you want to keep that pretty much $80,000...

we're gonna have to keep this between us.

Ohh.

I got to warn you, I can't keep a secret.

- You're a grown man. - It's burning inside me already.

- I'm gonna tell someone. - Steve, just... Steve.

- Ohh! - Lock it up.

Okay. It's locked.

You know, um, you look like a born-again...

Hey, Florence. Wow.

You look... incredible.

- Hi, Chris. - It's Corey.

Whatever. Florence, I wonder if I could talk to you alone

for just a moment about the wedding.

Um, it's funny you mention that,

because Chris here just asked me if I want to go with him,

'cause Chris likes weddings and he's not weird about them.

Isn't that right, Chris?

Yeah. TBH, I love weddings.

And, actually, it's, uh, Corey,

but I can tell that Owen's getting you flustered, so it's no big deal.

I'm sorry, aren't you supposed to be officiating?

Um, a minister can have a date, Owen.

It's not the Dark Ages.

Oh, my God!

And you're fine with that, right,

because we're not a normal couple?

No, I'm great with it. I wan you to go.

Good. Because it's happening!

I'm gonna go to this frickin' wedding with this guy,

and we're gonna have a great frickin' time!

Great! I hope you do!

OMG!

Corey, she is into you, bud.

She's into you.

Oh, man.

What can I say, man? Oh, wow.

Wow.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today to celebrate love.

Let's face it...