Father Brown

Goes at quite a lick, don't she?

Prototype.

Had her shipped over myself.

Very ingenious.

So, Mr Reeve -- perhaps we could discuss why you've asked us here.

And, of course, we are delighted to be here.

We are always anxious to help local benefactors like yourself

find deserving causes.

I'm afraid in that sense I'm a non-believer, Father.

You don't believe in charity?

Let the poor pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

I did.

No, you're here so I can present you with your annual membership pass.

My what?

I know what keen golfers you priests are, Father.

Back home, we're beating you off with a stick.

Yes, well, I'm afraid I'm a non-believer in that sense, Mr Reeve.

I think that golf is a good walk spoiled.

Well, you priests do believe in Latin, don't you?

How about a little quid pro quo?

You lead the way, bring your flock to the opening,

and then I'll consider a donation.

Perhaps Mrs McCarthy should have a ride on the way back.

The father would be simply delighted to come.

It is very beautiful here.

Better than that scrub we ripped out, huh?

See, this isn't Earth, Father.

This is Paradise.

The trouble with Paradise...

.. there's always a snake.

Did Raylan Reeve ruin my property out of petty spite?

Yes, he did.

Do I hate the man?

Yes, I do.

But did I threaten to kill him?

That WAS the question I asked, Mrs Harvey.

In your own time.

No, I did not.

Then you won't mind if we search your property.

Unofficially.

Of course, I could go back to the station, get a search warrant...

I've got nothing to hide.

Unlike some!

What exactly is it you're accusing Mr Reeve of?

This garden used to win prizes...

.. and over there was scrub.

I wouldn't sell my land to that man,

and now, somehow, things are reversed.

They diverted my water, Inspector.

We looked into this the first time you complained.

There's no proof.

You're standing on it!

Sir...

.. the witnesses you asked for.

About time, too.

You were the people with Raylan Reeve

when he discovered the damage?!

Guilty as charged.

He said he thought he saw movement in the undergrowth.

Perhaps a person hiding.

Did either of you see anything untoward?

Certainly not.

And if you're insinuating that that person was Hermione Harvey...

I hate litter.

Forgive me, Inspector,

but this was just vandalism.

You seem to have enough men here for a murder investigation.

It's a death threat against one of our most notable local businessmen.

Who just happens to be the owner of the best golf club

in the three counties.

Will you be competing this Saturday, Inspector?

Mr Reeve has invited me to oversee security.

Well, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I have known Hermione Harvey for 30 years,

- and let me tell you, you will find absolutely nothing... - Inspector.

You should see this.

Exactly what would have been used to burn the words into the green.

Why do you have this?

You think I bought it to get my own back on Raylan Reeve?

Well, let me save some time by confessing -- yes, I did.

The best revenge is success.

He wants to destroy my lawn -- I'll make it greener than ever.

It's fertiliser.

To help grass grow, not kill it.

Carefully handled, maybe. Neat, it's deathly.

As I know to my cost.

Mrs Goodfellow was not a happy lady.

- May I? - No!

It's only a quarter used.

How much would you need to burn a message into a green?

I haven't finished with you.

Stay away from Raylan Reeve, or I'll be watching you.

Well, of all the cheek!

Don't be upsetting yourself, Hermione.

Innocence will out.

The truth will out...

.. and, as usual, the truth is a little more complex

than we would like.

Do you own a gun?

No.

Not exactly -- my Arthur has a gun.

From the war.

But you use it.

Just... target practice.

I don't feel safe here any more.

You will not be safe, not if they find a gun here.

I'll happily look after it for you.

I've got a perfectly good hiding place for it.

Don't you worry yourself.

Ngh!

Ooh! Thank you.

Snake-in-the-grass.

What?

No! I mean...

- It is, after all, for charity. - Oh, Bridget, relax.

You want to give him two shillings to stand in his field

and watch fat men hit little balls, you go ahead.

Did you say two shillings?!

Mrs Harvey.

I wasn't expecting to see you here today.

I wouldn't set foot in that place if he paid me.

But I do want to know what's going on.

The best firework display Kembleford's ever seen,

I've been told.

Have you met the daughter yet?

Up by the tree.

Blonde.

She came over here first.

Her daughter's a boarder at that snooty girls' school, Saint, um...

Saviour's?

Then he followed.

Is there a husband?

No sign. Rumour is...

.. divorced.

Morning, Padre.

I hope you're not here in a professional capacity.

We won't be needing the last rites today,

will we, Mrs Harvey?

Very witty.

Deadly serious.

One of you on the gate -- the other following Mrs Harvey.

No funny business.

Ah, Mr Reeve!

Ah, Father. So pleased you changed your mind.

Yes. He's always delighted to try something new.

Right, I'll be off.

If you'll excuse me...

Hermione!

So, Mr Reeve, I'm hoping you'll try something new and make a donation.

The restoration of our sacristy is distressingly overdue.

Good morning, Mr Reeve.

I'm here to sign up for the Men's Cup.

Your staff seem to think there's some kind of a problem.

Well, our clubs have very strict standards

about the calibre of players.

I think you'll find my credentials are exceptional.

Wait a minute...

Michael Nelson? I know you!

This guy used to caddy for us back when he was a skinny 15-year-old.

I heard Marty Connaught was over for the Cup, too.

Real little reunion today.

Connaught? No-one by that name registered.

Excuse me, I have business with the father.

You don't remember Marty?

Why don't you wait for me in my office?

It's right through there.

Excuse me.

You once had a crush on my daughter, didn't you?

You and half the state, huh?

Once upon a time.

I thought it went both ways.

Well, she found herself a real man.

Yeah.

So manly he couldn't stick around for his baby.

Some guy, huh?

Don't worry, Mr Reeve.

I'm here for the Cup...

.. not your daughter.

Bananas.

Don't mind if I do.

I was going to tell you, I swear.

Father!

You don't mind waiting in the lobby, right?

No, of course not.

Does this mean what I think it means?

You took Morgana out of school without my say-so?

It's called an "exeat".

These Brits do love their Latin.

And you entered her in the Cup?

She signed up herself!

You don't believe me? Come on.

She's walking the course right now.

Let's ask her.

She begged me to compete.

You wouldn't want me to deny my favourite granddaughter, would you?

You know how I feel about this -- I don't want you pushing her.

She wants it.

That's what you said about me!

And did it do you so much harm?

Girls' golfing champion, travelling the world...